A review by booksafety
Drown in You by T.J. Hamel

5.0

Book safety, content warnings, and tropes & tags down below.

I’ve mastered the art of giving pleasure while receiving pain.

Reviewing books like this isn’t easy. There’s so much to unpack, and you really have to put away any personal discomfort with the contents to review it fairly. I will preface this with saying I have a strong stomach, and I handled it relatively well. There were still scenes that made me uncomfortable, and a lot of it was difficult to read, but as I expected, it was the angst between the MCs that came after when the healing started that affected me the most. The psychological impact on both MCs from seeing/experiencing/inflicting all of this trauma is enormous, and it can definitely impact the reader as well.

I was a bit confused about the timeline early on, but other than that, this is very well written. The author has handled the themes well without shying away from showing the gruesome details of sex trafficking. There was one point where it felt like a bit much, like maybe a scene or two near the end of the undercover operation could’ve been left out and it not impact the story, as it started to read a bit like torture porn (as my friend describes it). It’s not the feeling I’m left with after finishing the book, as it reaches a point where they’re physically safe and the book focuses on healing physically and mentally, but it was indeed a bit much at one point, which is saying something. Well, other than the graphic revenge near the end, but that was just cathartic for everyone involved at that point lol (including the reader), although it did make me wanna clutch my metaphorical balls (I have written the words ‘metaphorical balls’ in entirely too many reviews).

[…] I might be imagining it. Sometimes that happens. Sometimes I feel things on my body that aren’t there when I look. Am I going crazy? Does that happen before you die? I think I’d like to die. I think that’d be really nice.

I don’t want to forget about the romance part of the book either. The potential ‘hero worship’ situation was handled well, and I’m thankful that there really weren’t any romantic feelings involved, only the need to take care of and protect each other, until after they were away from the undercover operation. They have to work for it, and maybe the start of their connection wasn’t the healthiest, but with therapy (individually, together and in a group setting) they managed to create a safe and healthy relationship. They were by no means healed or ‘fixed’ by the end of the book though, and it was clear that the therapy would continue. And the MCs were simply so sweet together when they reached that stage.

I am a big fan of daddy kink, and one kinda funny thing is that I didn’t even know this had it until I read it in the book. One MC is a daddy dom, and he’s a caretaker through and through (which actually leads to what was the most heartbreaking moment in the book for me), but this dynamic worked so well for the MCs. The other MC even experiences some age regression, but I will say this is very mild and doesn’t read like the usual age play books at all. He needs some extra comfort and gets a bit needy, and he has a stuffie he adores.

I’ve always dreamt of spending my time just like this. Bathing a boy. Caring for him. Tucking him in. Sure, in my fantasies I was his daddy, and he wasn’t recovering from a fucking nightmarish existence.

I’m sure there’s plenty more I could say about this book (it’s a thicc one after all), but there’s really no point. It’s heartbreaking, sometimes stomach turning, somehow sweet and adorable at times, and I even managed to laugh once or twice. Tackling subjects like this must be really freaking difficult, and I am in no way shape or form an expert on anything that goes down in this book, but I do believe the author did it well.

“It’s alright,” I promise him. "When was the last time someone touched you gently, little one?" A small sob bursts from Casey's lips. "I don't remember."

The list of content warnings is incredibly long this time, but they’re all there for a good reason, and I definitely encourage you to look at them before reading. Take care of yourself first and foremost.

4.5 stars rounded up

⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️

⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Age gap
Undercover agent
Human trafficking
Survivorship
Mental health
Daddy dom
Found family
Trauma

⚠️⚠️ Content warning ⚠️⚠️
MC forced to rape a third party (not other MC)
Non consensual spitting and urination (in mouth)
Mentions of child rape (off page, no MC involved)
On page torture/assault (not between MCs)
Dubious consent (relatively mild cases)
On page rape (not between MCs)
Mentions of child sex trafficking
Non-consensual drug use
Self harm (unintentional)
Sex trafficking
Slavery
Suicidal ideation
Gang rape
Sexual assault
PTSD
Humiliation
Depression
Anxiety
Panic attacks
Mild age regression

*I have added the content warnings the author provided as well as every single one I could think of, but there may be others I have missed.

⚠️⚠️⚠️ Book safety ⚠️⚠️⚠️
Cheating: No
OM/OW drama: In a way. Please see the first content warning.
Third-act breakup: No
POV: 1st person, single POV
Genre: Contemporary romance, M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Atleast one MC is versatile. No switching on page.

Casey fidgets with the towel, peeking at me through his lashes. "You're sure you don't want me to… pleasure you, Master? I'd-I'd be very happy to." "No. But thank you." "Will you-will others be…" he squeezes his eyes shut and tilts his head away. "Will you let other slaves pleasure you tonight, Master? Are-are they better than me?"

It wouldn't be so bad to drown in him. In fact, I think it’d be quite nice. Maybe we could even drown in each other.

Casey chooses to go to his after-breakfast crying session alone, giving me a lingering kiss just before hurrying off. He looks startingly happy for a boy about to go cry his eyes out.