A review by quiteliterary
To Have and To Hold by Patricia Gaffney

5.0

I was told that this book was going to be dark and heavy so I knew what I was getting into when starting. Let me start off with saying how much I needed Rachel to be happy so bad, and how much my heart broke for Lydia in spite of what she put Rachel through. 

Sebastian repels and infuriates me, but what I feel about him is a conflicting. Everytime I find myself liking this guy, I remember what he did. From the rape to the scene where Rachel sits with him and his friends shattered me. However towards the end, I found myself liking him for the sake of Rachel. It sucks because I know I should despise him, but I just don’t. Maybe I do, but not as much as I should. I am the type of reader who is totally fine with asshole MMCs as long as they grovel in the end… but Sebastian has been an expection. I absolutely do not excuse or forgive him for everything he did. And if it means anything, he’s even worse than an asshole. He did not grovel. He did not even redeem himself properly. 

He reminds me a little bit of Val from Elizabeth Hoyt’s Maiden Lane series in a way that they are bad guys who fell in love who never redeemed themselves. However, Val is built as very fictional whereas Sebastian feels “real”.