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A review by screamdogreads
Notice by Heather Lewis, Alan Garganus
4.0
"While it's true I needed the money that's not all I needed from it. I don't care what anybody says. I understand the reason for telling people that, people outside it. But the thing is, I could never really see anyone as outside it. What the extra need is, the thing besides money? I've never pinned it down. I know it's there, though."
Heather Lewis' Notice has had me thinking for a while, mostly about its agonizing content, but, also about how we use and understand the word disturbing. A lot of the time, disturbing is used in place of disgusting, scary, perhaps even shocking. And, yes, at times, it would be fair to call Notice all of these things - but it's not an extreme splatterpunk body horror gore-fest, it's not a horror novel at all, yet, it does horrify. It's disturbing in its quietness, however, in how real and raw it all is, in how it reads as if it's a non-fiction account of an incredibly distressing life. It's disturbing in how the heart of the author seems to seep out of the words on the pages. Notice is an exorcism of the soul.
This is without a doubt one of the bleakest, most horrifying works of fiction out there. At every turn it's just an obliterating experience, and, in its sheer artistry and audacity, it's rather brave. Notice reads much like a very long suicide note, it's an extremely painful reading experience. Upon starting this novel, it takes a while to even realize it's fiction, what is clear from the get-go however, is that Heather Lewis understands, with a burning clarity, what she's writing about. This book is a void, an exploration of exploitation and abuse, and the desperate desire to be needed. What a superbly written, gruesome, harrowing, erotically artful and yet horrible experience this was. Notice achieves what every good piece of fiction should - it leaves us with plenty to ponder.
Heather Lewis' Notice has had me thinking for a while, mostly about its agonizing content, but, also about how we use and understand the word disturbing. A lot of the time, disturbing is used in place of disgusting, scary, perhaps even shocking. And, yes, at times, it would be fair to call Notice all of these things - but it's not an extreme splatterpunk body horror gore-fest, it's not a horror novel at all, yet, it does horrify. It's disturbing in its quietness, however, in how real and raw it all is, in how it reads as if it's a non-fiction account of an incredibly distressing life. It's disturbing in how the heart of the author seems to seep out of the words on the pages. Notice is an exorcism of the soul.
This is without a doubt one of the bleakest, most horrifying works of fiction out there. At every turn it's just an obliterating experience, and, in its sheer artistry and audacity, it's rather brave. Notice reads much like a very long suicide note, it's an extremely painful reading experience. Upon starting this novel, it takes a while to even realize it's fiction, what is clear from the get-go however, is that Heather Lewis understands, with a burning clarity, what she's writing about. This book is a void, an exploration of exploitation and abuse, and the desperate desire to be needed. What a superbly written, gruesome, harrowing, erotically artful and yet horrible experience this was. Notice achieves what every good piece of fiction should - it leaves us with plenty to ponder.
"I carried that deadness to bed with me. And I carried with it a knowledge I'd had all along. That I should've died that night - it'd been the best chance I'd had so far. And that I hadn't? Hadn't taken it? It wasn't the relief or comfort I believed it ought to be. It was only a postponement of some kind. A cruel kind of cheat, pressing me to decide it myself."
This book is pure art. It's a book that demands attention and care while reading in order to be fully appreciated. One has to fully immerse themselves into the pitch-black world of Notice in order to not miss its subtlety. There's a lot this book has to say, a lot that the author has to say, and this makes it an important yet difficult read. Across the 200 or so pages that Notice spans there exists an excruciatingly detailed account of the horror that is humanity. It's a book of many things, a horrific noir, a dark romance like novel of submission, a dive into the minds of powerful men that abuse women, a slow paced psychological thriller, the list truly is endless.
It's also fantastic. It's timeless and ageless and without a doubt one of the most quietly disturbing novels to exist. Background detail is nonexistent in this novel, instead, we're thrust into the heartbreaking abuse from the start. There's an enormous amount of pain etched between each and every word of this obscure little novel. It really is a book that deserves much more love and attention.
"She'd gone out of her head, but I was still in mine and registering everything going on - in my head and my body and the place in between them. That place being nearest my chest, where I wanted to feel deadness or at least hatred but instead could only feel loved."