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annaka_haynes 's review for:
“You Just Need to Lose Weight”: And 19 Other Myths About Fat People
by Aubrey Gordon
I've been missing Aubrey Gordon while the Maintenance Phase podcast is on hiatus (she's finishing her newest book!) so I splurged on this audiobook to keep me company on my morning walks. Unlike her first book, she narrates this one, which makes it feel cozier. I didn't think there would be any surprises, because I follow Gordon and some other fat activists, but the personal stories and examples made me uncomfortably aware that I need to keep learning. Like many women with my upbringing, I've worried about my weight since I was in high school- at which time I was solidly within healthy weight range. This book is a chair to the face for any of us who are 'straight-sized', that is, able to walk into most clothing stores and find something in our size (US 0-16.) Gordon lays out the many issues that straight-sized folks never experience- having to custom-order clothing, to worry if furniture will take our weight, to be denied healthcare because we're outside an arbitrary weight range, to never know if an airline will kick you off a flight you've paid for because a smaller person is uncomfortable, and, most of all, the daily comments from strangers about your body. She acknowledges that body image issues can and do happen to anyone, but is clear that most of us, no matter how often we 'feel fat,' don't face true antifat bias.
The most important things I learned, some of which I certainly struggle with, are:
1. The word 'fat' is not a bad word. The majority of truly fat people prefer to be called fat, not some euphemism. I fight this notion with every fiber of my being, but here's a fat activist telling me differently, so perhaps I should listen.
2. Anytime straight-sized folks complain about their weight, they're telling their fat friends that being fat isn't ok. There's no escape in thinking "I don't care if you're fat, I just don't like myself to be this size." It's still an implied acceptance of antifatness.
3. Slender people are not experts on losing weight, because most of them have never had to lose the amount of weight that truly fat people would need to lose to meet social norms. This is so obvious as to be painful, but is rarely acknowledged.
4. Fatness is not a moral failing, though our society generally treats it as if it was.
5. Fat is not a feeling. Again, painfully obvious once someone points it out. We often say this when we mean that we feel sluggish, or unhappy, or something else- but it's better to name and deal with our actual feelings.
All in all, this is a relatively short, compassionate, accessible examination of society's bias against fatness, and a starting point for thinking differently.
The most important things I learned, some of which I certainly struggle with, are:
1. The word 'fat' is not a bad word. The majority of truly fat people prefer to be called fat, not some euphemism. I fight this notion with every fiber of my being, but here's a fat activist telling me differently, so perhaps I should listen.
2. Anytime straight-sized folks complain about their weight, they're telling their fat friends that being fat isn't ok. There's no escape in thinking "I don't care if you're fat, I just don't like myself to be this size." It's still an implied acceptance of antifatness.
3. Slender people are not experts on losing weight, because most of them have never had to lose the amount of weight that truly fat people would need to lose to meet social norms. This is so obvious as to be painful, but is rarely acknowledged.
4. Fatness is not a moral failing, though our society generally treats it as if it was.
5. Fat is not a feeling. Again, painfully obvious once someone points it out. We often say this when we mean that we feel sluggish, or unhappy, or something else- but it's better to name and deal with our actual feelings.
All in all, this is a relatively short, compassionate, accessible examination of society's bias against fatness, and a starting point for thinking differently.