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A review by scarlettereads
Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
2.0
I first read Vampire Academy when I was fifteen, and wow was fifteen year old me powerful, because this is pretty bad and I thought about calling it quits a whole lot.
I’m going to put some of that down to the audio narrator who shouldn’t try for a Russian accent for any reason at all, but a lot of it is down to the writing.
The major issue I take with this book (and I felt the same fifteen years ago), is that the love interest is literally a paedophile. What was it about the 2000s that had YA authors writing about “older guy” love interests like their lives depended on it?
I hated Dimitri Belikov way back when, and I hate him even more now.
This is going to sound extremely bizarre, and perhaps it’s like when Michael Gary Scott imagined a unicorn before he’d ever seen one but hear me out: Before I even knew of the existence of Tommy Wiseau it was Tommy Wiseau who I pictured when I pictured Dimitri. To fifteen year old me that was how much older than seventeen a twenty-four year old looked. Also, how the hell did I do that?
Even after watching the terrible but bingeable TV adaptation where Dimitri is just some British guy who slipped into a sort of Russian accent about twice, I still see Tommy Wiseau when I picture Dimitri Belikov. Just wearing a leather duster coat and fewer belts.
Is it kind of iconic of me to read a book with a love interest who is kind of part vampire, who looks EXACTLY like TOMMY WISEAU, who I believe to be kind of part vampire—it explains a lot about him, just think on it for a minute—when I had never seen or heard of Tommy W? Incredibly. The accent is somewhere in the wheelhouse of what the audiobook performer went with, so why the hell not?
(But my sincerest apologies to Mr. Wiseau for picturing him when I envisioned a child predator in 2009. I know now that he’s just an “American guy” who is so super good at playing “American football” but is probably not a fan of garlic or holy water.
Anyway, this book is bad. Rose is pretty horrible. Dimitri is literally a paedophile. Etc etc etc. How the librarians at my catholic high school snuck this series onto the shelves I’ll never know, but I kind of wish they hadn’t 😬
I’m going to put some of that down to the audio narrator who shouldn’t try for a Russian accent for any reason at all, but a lot of it is down to the writing.
The major issue I take with this book (and I felt the same fifteen years ago), is that the love interest is literally a paedophile. What was it about the 2000s that had YA authors writing about “older guy” love interests like their lives depended on it?
I hated Dimitri Belikov way back when, and I hate him even more now.
This is going to sound extremely bizarre, and perhaps it’s like when Michael Gary Scott imagined a unicorn before he’d ever seen one but hear me out: Before I even knew of the existence of Tommy Wiseau it was Tommy Wiseau who I pictured when I pictured Dimitri. To fifteen year old me that was how much older than seventeen a twenty-four year old looked. Also, how the hell did I do that?
Even after watching the terrible but bingeable TV adaptation where Dimitri is just some British guy who slipped into a sort of Russian accent about twice, I still see Tommy Wiseau when I picture Dimitri Belikov. Just wearing a leather duster coat and fewer belts.
Is it kind of iconic of me to read a book with a love interest who is kind of part vampire, who looks EXACTLY like TOMMY WISEAU, who I believe to be kind of part vampire—it explains a lot about him, just think on it for a minute—when I had never seen or heard of Tommy W? Incredibly. The accent is somewhere in the wheelhouse of what the audiobook performer went with, so why the hell not?
(But my sincerest apologies to Mr. Wiseau for picturing him when I envisioned a child predator in 2009. I know now that he’s just an “American guy” who is so super good at playing “American football” but is probably not a fan of garlic or holy water.
Anyway, this book is bad. Rose is pretty horrible. Dimitri is literally a paedophile. Etc etc etc. How the librarians at my catholic high school snuck this series onto the shelves I’ll never know, but I kind of wish they hadn’t 😬
Content Warnings
Graphic: Self harm, Pedophilia, Adult/minor relationship, Injury/Injury detail, Toxic relationship, Violence, Mental illness, Animal death, Blood, and Grief