A review by ramunepocky
Stars in Your Eyes by Kacen Callender

emotional hopeful reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

“But that’s part of the healing process, too. Learning about responsibility and accountability. Having the courage to own up to mistakes and apologise and make change.” 

This review is not spoiler free 

I read my first Kacen Callender book this year (that book being Felix, Ever After, that I have now read a total of 5 times) and this was my third book I’ve read by them, and I adore every book I’ve read by them. Their writing style flows so beautifully and scratches my brain just right, making their words addictive and I literally fly through every book by them. They have an expert way of creating characters – each of them well-rounded, flawed and subsequently human. This book was no different. I started it one morning with the idea of reading a few chapters before bed, and then stayed up hours past my bedtime at suddenly 70% of the way through the book, forcing myself to sleep only so I could get up with enough time to finish it before work. Which I did. And dayum, I loved every second of it. The topics in this book are difficult to read about, but extremely important, as the main focus is the way that trauma/traumatic experiences can affect relationships and your behaviour. It was hard reading about the way that Logan’s experiences affected him, especially without him realising how deeply it did hurt him, and how he deemed himself unsavable and unworthy of love because of it. I also think this was a really interesting commentary on celebrity culture and Hollywood and how toxic and destructive the industry and the environment is, both from within and outside of it. 

“You learned how to survive in a world that was harmful to you. Now, it’s time to thank your younger self for helping you survive this long. Now, it’s time to find another way to exist.” 

Logan really broke my heart throughout this. It was so sad to see him just lean into everyone’s worst assumptions of him and let everyone use him for their own gain because he believed himself to be unlovable and because he was so mentally destroyed by what had happened to him that he didn’t care if people thought he was a bad person. It was so hard to read about the way that people treated him, about how his father had let him be assaulted and raped as a child and growing up, how he continued connecting with people in that way as an adult, and how he was constantly used and abused for publicity or for his body. I appreciate the fact that falling for and dating Mattie didn’t suddenly “fix” Logan and make him suddenly better and have zero trauma because I hate that trope and it’s not how the real world works. The real world works much more like it did in this novel, it’s messy and sometimes, as a result of your trauma, you can lash out and hurt the people you care about the most. I liked the fact that their relationship did not work out and ultimately, the two of them split up and went down different paths. And though being with Mattie didn’t suddenly “fix” Logan, I like that it helped him realise that he is worthy of love and that he deserves to help himself and get better, and he deserves to be able to consent and feel safe in his own body. I’m glad he took the jump he needed to cut himself off from his father and get the help he needed away from substances, away from the press and with therapists who could help him process his trauma. It was really nice to see Logan after the time skip, to see him working a mundane job, having hobbies, feeling safe in his own body and having been able to work on healing and reflect on the mistakes he’d made in the past. I appreciate that he apologised to Mattie when he saw him again, and didn’t try to justify his actions because of his trauma. He owned up to his mistakes and moved on from them. 

“There is no guarantee that one person will make us happy for the rest of our lives. Instead, there’s something else more powerful, even deeper: the realisation of love that we have for ourselves – and the joy in sharing this love with someone else, and experiencing the love they have for themselves, too. Instead of depending on each other for happiness, we find our happiness individually, and then share that happiness with each other.” 

I really loved the conclusion to this book, and how, after having time to heal and grow, they reunited and still felt the same way for each other, subsequently giving it another go. They were both truly right person, wrong time, and in reuniting, it became right person, right time, as Mattie’s last memoir suggests that they both spent many more years together after the story ended. It was really nice to have a hopeful ending, and have them both find their happiness in themselves first, and each other second. 

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