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A review by erica_o
My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me: A Black Woman Discovers Her Family's Nazi Past by Nikola Sellmair, Jennifer Teege
4.0
What an interesting read!
This came across my desk awhile ago and I was arrested by the title so I put it on hold and have just finished listening and my thoughts are all a-whirl because, here's the thing, this could possibly be my story. Not the part about a black woman because I'm white but the part about discovering one's surprise Nazi heritage. I could very well unknowingly have Nazi ancestors and there's no way I would know or even suspect.
Jennifer didn't know or suspect until she accidentally stumbled across a book about her mother while searching the mental health area of the library. In trying to help herself battle depression, Jennifer, instead, found her mother's story right there where she never expected to find such a thing and in that book, she also found that she is the granddaughter of Amon Goeth, the vicious Commandant of Płaszów, he who was portrayed by Ralph Fiennes in "Schindler's List." After learning that, she then had to come to terms with her beloved grandmother being a Nazi supporter who lived at the camp and saw what her lover was doing and did nothing to stop it. How the hell do you come to terms with that?
Well, that's the point of this book, how she reconciled with her new reality.
Most of this book is Jennifer telling the reader her experience, sharing her feelings. She's quite open and honest but also oddly self-involved and unapologetically so. I was wrapped up in her story even as I often rolled my eyes at her actions. But what would I have done differently? I don't know.
Parts of this book, though, is comprised of the narratives of her family, friends, people who are in her life, and people who met her briefly. They offer counterpoints to Jennifer's story, helping to create a fuller, more comprehensive picture.
It's a somewhat exhausting read; it's hard to follow along with someone's turmoil, with the burden of sudden guilt, of fear of how her story will be received by her Jewish friends, the questioning of family and its importance and who family really is. But it ends perfectly, beautifully, and in a glorious human fashion.
I'm glad I listened to this.
This came across my desk awhile ago and I was arrested by the title so I put it on hold and have just finished listening and my thoughts are all a-whirl because, here's the thing, this could possibly be my story. Not the part about a black woman because I'm white but the part about discovering one's surprise Nazi heritage. I could very well unknowingly have Nazi ancestors and there's no way I would know or even suspect.
Jennifer didn't know or suspect until she accidentally stumbled across a book about her mother while searching the mental health area of the library. In trying to help herself battle depression, Jennifer, instead, found her mother's story right there where she never expected to find such a thing and in that book, she also found that she is the granddaughter of Amon Goeth, the vicious Commandant of Płaszów, he who was portrayed by Ralph Fiennes in "Schindler's List." After learning that, she then had to come to terms with her beloved grandmother being a Nazi supporter who lived at the camp and saw what her lover was doing and did nothing to stop it. How the hell do you come to terms with that?
Well, that's the point of this book, how she reconciled with her new reality.
Most of this book is Jennifer telling the reader her experience, sharing her feelings. She's quite open and honest but also oddly self-involved and unapologetically so. I was wrapped up in her story even as I often rolled my eyes at her actions. But what would I have done differently? I don't know.
Parts of this book, though, is comprised of the narratives of her family, friends, people who are in her life, and people who met her briefly. They offer counterpoints to Jennifer's story, helping to create a fuller, more comprehensive picture.
It's a somewhat exhausting read; it's hard to follow along with someone's turmoil, with the burden of sudden guilt, of fear of how her story will be received by her Jewish friends, the questioning of family and its importance and who family really is. But it ends perfectly, beautifully, and in a glorious human fashion.
I'm glad I listened to this.