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A review by ahoykelso
Broken Flames by M.K. Ahearn
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
**I am an ARC reader and basing this on my reading of half of the 1st edition ARC and the full reading of the Revised edition**
I am giving this one star because if you gave me an overview/outline of this book I believe it would be good. The premise is enticing and I think the bones of it are worth reading.
I just truly couldn't get past the writing of this book which hurts to say. I wanted to DNF quite a few times but kept pushing because I wanted to give it a fighting chance. I hate to leave negative reviews and wanted to have room to change my opinion but I just wasn't able to find a change of heart after completing my read and reviewing my notes.
Minor spoiler potentially but not really:
My biggest qualm with this story was that the author tells rather than shows you what is happening. It felt very much like I was just reading “this happens, then this happens, then this happens”. I didn't feel a connection to any of the characters because everything felt so surface level. The enemies to lovers arc felt forced because their dynamic had no merit. I know why they should hate each other but I didn't feel it. I was told that they were growing feelings for each other but am unsure why. The FMC, Koraine, becomes friends with people that she meets but I don't really know why. Nyla, for example, is the MMCs sister and became friends with Koraine incredibly fast; but why? Nyla is supposed to hate Koraine because she is from Morwen but that is never shown. The same is seen with Cyrus. Koraine is supposed to hate Abelonians and continuously says she can't trust them but she just does. It makes you think she just isn't smart.
There is potential here but I feel like it needs more reflection.
I want to include some of the notes I took since I am an ARC Reader but this requires a major spoiler warning:
These are marked by percentage into the book.
In general: Lots of use of 'Verb-ing....I..."
For example: "Watching as blank, I blank. Hurrying from blank, I blank.” It makes the feeling that you are just reading a list of what is happening even more prevalent.
32%: "I knew Cyrus and Bellamy had some history together and didn’t like each other, but I still had no idea why."
How? When did you learn this? Bellamy talks about it to himself but never to Koraine.
32%: “Tonight, you will dine with me,” Bellamy stated, not a single emotion written on his face. “And if I refuse?” I asked, gaining my confidence back the closer I got to the door again. “You won’t.” He left without another word, leaving me to wonder if I would regret agreeing to this meal.
There was no agreement at this point. Just a refusal. I think an edit is needed here.
35%: Koraine asks about Bellamy's long sleeves but when they sparred he was shirtless. Would she not have seen the scars?
53%: "I still didn’t know what to say to him after everything that had occurred."
I feel like this dynamic with Cyrus is not explored at all. Like he held her when she cried and didn't want to let go but I think more needs to be added to show the need to avoid him for 2 weeks.
The scene later where he is trying to take advantage of her is what I expected at this point in the book. I think that an attempted kiss or confession of feelings after her fight with Bellamy would make her discomfort more merited. This would also make the later scene, when he tries to take advantage of her, have a more emotional pay off.
58%: “Why’d you stop him,” I asked. My back was still to him. I couldn’t bring my self to turn around. I was terrified of the answer he might give. “Because I don’t share what’s mine,” he said..
The scene with Bellamy and Koraine after the Cyrus incident felt a bit ick. Bellamy has been shown as an actually good guy but now we are leaning towards morally grey? I feel like he would have stopped Cyrus just because it was the right thing to do. This quote didn't feel aligned with his true character. Then he is aroused and I'm not sure how we got there.
60%: My note was “I don't understand why Koraine is important enough to garner war support from Morwen. She didn't seem too important before being sent to the fire kingdom.”
We later learn that it's because she isn't actually important but the king just plans to kill her, but I feel like until then I felt like no one was using logical thinking or questioning how this plan was supposed to work. Koraine has no training or real pull in Morwen but everyone just believes that the King thinks she will have a pull with Morwen’s king.
70%: “I have to go find my sister, will you be alright for a few minutes?” I asked.
Why couldn't he order a guard to go get Nyla? Koraine almost died and it would have been faster as he could help get her warm while Nyla was running to their room. With that, I am unsure why she was so cold. It was still warm in Abelon and had just been the hottest summer they'd had in awhile. Did it get colder the further they got from Abelon? Was she in a particularly cold part of the sea? This was unclear.
73%: Koraine's feelings for Bellamy, and vice versa, feel unwarranted. As does Bellamy not wanting to give in to them. Also why hasn't he told her that she needs to swear herself to Abelon or she'll die. I feel like she should be able to make any informed decision. No lying or manipulation is really necessary. This could just be my dislike for the “I can't tell her because it's safer if only I know” trope though.
82%: “The waterfall gave her the privacy I knew she craved some days."
This quote was an example of a trend that was through the book of Bellamy or Koraine knowing things that they shouldn't know about one another. They haven't talked about how Koraine wants privacy or is introverted and we haven't seen really any indication of this being the case. How would Bellamy know this?
Another example I tagged was 82% "I knew he was upset that Nyla had not come, but I didn’t dare ask him about it. The wound was still too fresh in his mind, and this didn’t seem like the right time." There are a number of reasons why Bellamy should be upset at this point but she is supposed to just know him well enough to know his mood is due to his sister. It seems unfounded due to their relationship dynamic so far.
82%: “Imry is able to fly for long periods of time, but it will require a lot of rest once we’ve made it to Morwen. She will probably need to sleep for days before she is ready to fly again.”
This information is given twice within a page of each other. It feels repetitive and one instance could be excluded.
93% "His gaze met mine"
Her back was just to him and there was no direction stating that she had turned around. Her turning around to face him is actually described later in the scene, so this felt disjointed. Did she turn her head away from his braiding to look back into his eyes? Did she completely turn around and then Bellamy later put her back into the braiding position?
The ending has so much potential but felt a bit rushed. I didn't feel like Bellamy and Koraine’s emotions were explored enough. They were just captured, then in the dungeon, then Koraine yelled a bit, then they were in the throne room. This was kind of just the feeling overall though. There were so many instances where emotional reactions could have been explored and helped the reader feel a connection to these characters. They just weren't though so it fell flat.
In general: Lots of use of 'Verb-ing....I..."
For example: "Watching as blank, I blank. Hurrying from blank, I blank.” It makes the feeling that you are just reading a list of what is happening even more prevalent.
32%: "I knew Cyrus and Bellamy had some history together and didn’t like each other, but I still had no idea why."
How? When did you learn this? Bellamy talks about it to himself but never to Koraine.
32%: “Tonight, you will dine with me,” Bellamy stated, not a single emotion written on his face. “And if I refuse?” I asked, gaining my confidence back the closer I got to the door again. “You won’t.” He left without another word, leaving me to wonder if I would regret agreeing to this meal.
There was no agreement at this point. Just a refusal. I think an edit is needed here.
35%: Koraine asks about Bellamy's long sleeves but when they sparred he was shirtless. Would she not have seen the scars?
53%: "I still didn’t know what to say to him after everything that had occurred."
I feel like this dynamic with Cyrus is not explored at all. Like he held her when she cried and didn't want to let go but I think more needs to be added to show the need to avoid him for 2 weeks.
The scene later where he is trying to take advantage of her is what I expected at this point in the book. I think that an attempted kiss or confession of feelings after her fight with Bellamy would make her discomfort more merited. This would also make the later scene, when he tries to take advantage of her, have a more emotional pay off.
58%: “Why’d you stop him,” I asked. My back was still to him. I couldn’t bring my self to turn around. I was terrified of the answer he might give. “Because I don’t share what’s mine,” he said..
The scene with Bellamy and Koraine after the Cyrus incident felt a bit ick. Bellamy has been shown as an actually good guy but now we are leaning towards morally grey? I feel like he would have stopped Cyrus just because it was the right thing to do. This quote didn't feel aligned with his true character. Then he is aroused and I'm not sure how we got there.
60%: My note was “I don't understand why Koraine is important enough to garner war support from Morwen. She didn't seem too important before being sent to the fire kingdom.”
We later learn that it's because she isn't actually important but the king just plans to kill her, but I feel like until then I felt like no one was using logical thinking or questioning how this plan was supposed to work. Koraine has no training or real pull in Morwen but everyone just believes that the King thinks she will have a pull with Morwen’s king.
70%: “I have to go find my sister, will you be alright for a few minutes?” I asked.
Why couldn't he order a guard to go get Nyla? Koraine almost died and it would have been faster as he could help get her warm while Nyla was running to their room. With that, I am unsure why she was so cold. It was still warm in Abelon and had just been the hottest summer they'd had in awhile. Did it get colder the further they got from Abelon? Was she in a particularly cold part of the sea? This was unclear.
73%: Koraine's feelings for Bellamy, and vice versa, feel unwarranted. As does Bellamy not wanting to give in to them. Also why hasn't he told her that she needs to swear herself to Abelon or she'll die. I feel like she should be able to make any informed decision. No lying or manipulation is really necessary. This could just be my dislike for the “I can't tell her because it's safer if only I know” trope though.
82%: “The waterfall gave her the privacy I knew she craved some days."
This quote was an example of a trend that was through the book of Bellamy or Koraine knowing things that they shouldn't know about one another. They haven't talked about how Koraine wants privacy or is introverted and we haven't seen really any indication of this being the case. How would Bellamy know this?
Another example I tagged was 82% "I knew he was upset that Nyla had not come, but I didn’t dare ask him about it. The wound was still too fresh in his mind, and this didn’t seem like the right time." There are a number of reasons why Bellamy should be upset at this point but she is supposed to just know him well enough to know his mood is due to his sister. It seems unfounded due to their relationship dynamic so far.
82%: “Imry is able to fly for long periods of time, but it will require a lot of rest once we’ve made it to Morwen. She will probably need to sleep for days before she is ready to fly again.”
This information is given twice within a page of each other. It feels repetitive and one instance could be excluded.
93% "His gaze met mine"
Her back was just to him and there was no direction stating that she had turned around. Her turning around to face him is actually described later in the scene, so this felt disjointed. Did she turn her head away from his braiding to look back into his eyes? Did she completely turn around and then Bellamy later put her back into the braiding position?
The ending has so much potential but felt a bit rushed. I didn't feel like Bellamy and Koraine’s emotions were explored enough. They were just captured, then in the dungeon, then Koraine yelled a bit, then they were in the throne room. This was kind of just the feeling overall though. There were so many instances where emotional reactions could have been explored and helped the reader feel a connection to these characters. They just weren't though so it fell flat.