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A review by unfetteredfiction
The Discomfort of Evening by Lucas Rijneveld
4.0
“I close my nature book in shock. Ants can carry up to five thousand times their own weight. People are puny in comparison - they can barely lift their own body weight once, let alone the weight of their sorrow.”
- Marieke Lucas Rijneveld, The Discomfort of Evening
This book feels quite important to me. It’s a story about grief, experiencing grief as a child, and observing the experience of grief during adulthood.
This story resonated with me because I also lost a sibling at a young age. Learning about Jas, her behaviours, her intrusive thoughts and her dark compulsions after the death of her brother, drew me back to a place I hadn’t thought about in a long time.
In this way, it was reassuring because there were plenty of things I did at the time which didn’t make sense, feelings and actions which I felt like I couldn’t control, things which either came to the surface or festered in my mind for a long time. My brain did a good job of protecting me, but it also went a bit *weird*, kind of like Jas’s. For example, Jas’s feelings of guilt, her irrational belief that soon others close to her will also die, or terrible things will happen unless she does something, that she must punish herself, that everything she has will soon be over, that all of this was inevitable, these were things I also felt strongly.
The book is uncomfortable, there are parts which go into detail about the things Jas and her remaining siblings get up to, including wielding death over animals, and exploring their own and each other’s sexuality. These elements can be difficult to read, but ultimately are part of the story. It’s not a fast paced plot, there is a lot of introspective stuff going on, which I think is fantastically delivered. Honestly, when I started the book I was concerned that I would get bored, but it just got better and better. I really love Jas and want her to be okay. I want her to know that it will all be okay.
- Marieke Lucas Rijneveld, The Discomfort of Evening
This book feels quite important to me. It’s a story about grief, experiencing grief as a child, and observing the experience of grief during adulthood.
This story resonated with me because I also lost a sibling at a young age. Learning about Jas, her behaviours, her intrusive thoughts and her dark compulsions after the death of her brother, drew me back to a place I hadn’t thought about in a long time.
In this way, it was reassuring because there were plenty of things I did at the time which didn’t make sense, feelings and actions which I felt like I couldn’t control, things which either came to the surface or festered in my mind for a long time. My brain did a good job of protecting me, but it also went a bit *weird*, kind of like Jas’s. For example, Jas’s feelings of guilt, her irrational belief that soon others close to her will also die, or terrible things will happen unless she does something, that she must punish herself, that everything she has will soon be over, that all of this was inevitable, these were things I also felt strongly.
The book is uncomfortable, there are parts which go into detail about the things Jas and her remaining siblings get up to, including wielding death over animals, and exploring their own and each other’s sexuality. These elements can be difficult to read, but ultimately are part of the story. It’s not a fast paced plot, there is a lot of introspective stuff going on, which I think is fantastically delivered. Honestly, when I started the book I was concerned that I would get bored, but it just got better and better. I really love Jas and want her to be okay. I want her to know that it will all be okay.