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A review by extremelysoundyoungpotato
Last Bus to Woodstock by Colin Dexter
2.0
Okay, okay - I wanted 'Endeavour'. I wanted a cultured intellect verging on genius, a fixation for finding the truth, an Achilles heel for a damsel in distress, and an ignorance of his own charm. Wit. Sangfoid.
I am willing to tolerate the explicit sexual nature of a rape-murder case. Less willing the overabundance of depravity and loose morality found in every character, including my erstwhile favorite Oxford detective. I would even be willing to endure pervading licentiousness among all other characters - except the hero, the main detective. But even then, if only there was some redemptive quality, however small, to the sinfulness. Even then! ("Lewis felt that his arguing with Morse in this mood was almost as sacrilegious as Moses arguing with the Lord on Sinai.") Also complicating matters is Colin Dexter's general unbelievable writing concerning men, women, sex, and relationships. Generosity compels me to wonder if it is simply a 'product of its time'. It doesn't really matter - it was pretty close to garbage.
Before supporting my above complaints with examples (and only a sampling of proofs, mind) - a positive. Saving this book from one-star status is the incredibly compelling and mentally-stimulating plot. I knew well before the 100-page mark that I would not read another book in the Inspector Morse series. But I needed to know what happened. By then, I had disassociated Morse with Endeavour, removing my unrealistic standards from his figurative shoulders. It didn't really help.
Normally don't enumerate my grievances, but here we are.
p. 2 - "Come on. We'll get a lif' in no time, you see. Tha's what' half these fellas are looking for - a bi' of skir'."
My suspicions begin to rise; my feathers ruffle slightly.
p. 2 - "You see. We'll be 'avin' a giggle abou' i' in the morning."
Nope, nope, nope.
p. 14 - "How the hell do I know," bellowed Morse.
The Morse I knew would not do this unless in the gravest of circumstances.
p. 16 - At a quarter past midnight Morse came into the restaurant-room where everyone was now gathered. Gaye's eyes met and held his briefly as he entered, and she felt a strong compulsion about the man. It was not so much that he seemed mentally to be undressing her, as most of the men she knew, but as if he had already done so. She listened to him with interest as he spoke.
Women do not think like this. And if they do, they do not then listen with interest.
p. 17 - "Mrs. McFee," broke in Morse gently, looking at her with an open nakedness in his eyes, "if I lived anywhere near, I'd come in myself and drool over you every night of the week."
Def not the Morse I know. But obviously, I don't know.
p. 22 - A pile of women's magazines was awkwardly stacked on the window-sill, and Morse cursorily flicked his way through make-up hints, personal problems and horoscopes. Not even a paragraph of pornography.
Were you wanting to find some, Morse?
p. 43 - He always seemed to dream of women. He sometimes wondered what he would dream about if he got himself married. Women probably, he thought.
My confidence is dropping rapidly.
p. 65 - The languid Sue, her long legs bronzed and bare, had no idea where she had gone. "Won't you come in and wait, Inspector?" The full lips parted and quivered slightly. Morse both looked and felt alarmingly vulnerable. He consulted his wrist-watch for moral support. "You're very kind but... perhaps I'd better not."
Ooooh, okay. I see where this is going. Need to draw out the sexual tension. Got it.
p. 77, 78 - Morse looked at her closely for the first time. He had not noticed before how attractive she could be. She wore a light-blue summer coat over a black jumper, with gloves in matching black. Her cheek bones were high and there was animation in her face, her mouth slightly open revealing the clean lines of her white teeth. Morse wondered if he could ever fall for her, and decided, as usual, he could.
Okay - proof for a later point. Morse obviously is a bit of a sucker for women and is not particularly choosy. She need be just mildly attractive.
p. 88, 89 - Entire sex scene between Gaye and Peter. "Peter," she whispered in his ear, "rape me again!" Just don't joke about that stuff anymore.
p. 96 - He realizes well enough that his dedication to pornography is coarsening whatever sensibilities he may once have possessed; that his craving is settling like some cancerous, malignant growth upon his mind, a mind crying out with ever-increasing desperation for its instant, morbid gratification.
A refreshingly negative bit about porn, but it would do well to turn its gaze to other forms of sexual licentiousness.
p. 131 - "Any erotic day-dreams?" "Yes," said Crowther, with a fierce burst of honesty. "It's a good job it's not a criminal offense," sighed Morse, "otherwise we'd all be inside."
Which is true, I'm sure, but no need to justify it.
p. 135, 136 - The Inspector was visibly stunned. He looked up slowly, straight and deep into the sad, come-hither face of darling Dark-eyes... This scene, when Morse asks out Sue, is not bad in itself. It's the objectification by comparing all the nurse's legs and then "miraculously" finding the beautiful pair in front of him. He has met this girl once, and yet she is his "darling." He flirts unabashedly.
p. 165-173 - Basically all of Chapter Eighteen is Morse's date with Sue. It is painful to read. "Sue leaned her head lightly against his cheek and Morse felt with a wonderful joy the moisture of her eyes. He wished the world would stop and that this heavenly moment could be launched onto the eternal seas." Gag. Again, unrealistic because they barely know each other. This is a first date. "He put his arm around her and drew her towards him and tenderly kissed the softest, heavenliest lips that ever the Almighty made." Whhhhhyyyyy. At least they don't actually sleep together and just fantasize about it. "I wish you were going to sleep with me," she whispered. "I wish you were going to sleep with me for ever, Sue." You. do. not. know. her. Then the following agonized telephone ring, when he desperately wishes it is Sue but won't pick up. I just find this romantic relationship sooooo unbelievable because it is purely based on physical attraction. Pure lust. Not noble or enviable. But wait, there is more!
p. 171 - Near the end of Chapter Eighteen, "Morse felt a hurt that he had never known before, and his voice was strained and unbelieving." Now, surely, Morse, who is middle-aged and, we can assume, no stranger to falling in love and bringing girls home, would have before now been rejected and felt hurt. This is not new! If the author is trying to make me believe that somehow Sue is different, he is failing.
p. 200 - The drama of Morse and Sue, cont. "Her arm brushed his as she pointed to the window immediately above the front door, and Morse felt a jagged ache between his temples. He wasn't a tall man and she was almost his own height in the very high wedge-heeled shoes she wore. She dropped her arm and their hands met in an accidental, beautiful way. Leave you hand there, Sue. Leave it there, my darling. He felt the electric thrill of the contact and gently, softly he ran his finger tips along her wrist." This drivel is grating.
p. 249 - "Then she saw him. He stood there, an anxious, vulnerable look in his grey eyes. The tears started in her eyes and she felt an incredible joy. He came and sat beside her. He didn't even try to hold her hand - there was no need of that. They talked, she didn't know what about. It didn't matter. 'I shall have to go,' she said. 'Try to see me soon, won't you?' It was after half-past one. Morse felt desperately sick at heart. He looked at Sue long and hard, and he knew that he loved her so dearly."
WHY DOES HE LOVE HER SO DEARLY? HOW?
pg. 281 - From the Epilogue: "Perhaps you can't believe me, and it doesn't matter anyway. But... I loved you." Morse said nothing. He felt his eyes prickling and he rubbed his left hand across them, and prayed that she would notice nothing. For a while he could not trust himself to speak, and when he did he looked down at his darling girl and said only, 'Goodbye, Sue.'"
SO. UN. RE. AL. IS. TIC. SO. UN. BE. LIEVE. ABLE.
We're done here.
*i realize that my use of punctuation is entirely inconsistent and incorrect. deal.*
I am willing to tolerate the explicit sexual nature of a rape-murder case. Less willing the overabundance of depravity and loose morality found in every character, including my erstwhile favorite Oxford detective. I would even be willing to endure pervading licentiousness among all other characters - except the hero, the main detective. But even then, if only there was some redemptive quality, however small, to the sinfulness. Even then! ("Lewis felt that his arguing with Morse in this mood was almost as sacrilegious as Moses arguing with the Lord on Sinai.") Also complicating matters is Colin Dexter's general unbelievable writing concerning men, women, sex, and relationships. Generosity compels me to wonder if it is simply a 'product of its time'. It doesn't really matter - it was pretty close to garbage.
Before supporting my above complaints with examples (and only a sampling of proofs, mind) - a positive. Saving this book from one-star status is the incredibly compelling and mentally-stimulating plot. I knew well before the 100-page mark that I would not read another book in the Inspector Morse series. But I needed to know what happened. By then, I had disassociated Morse with Endeavour, removing my unrealistic standards from his figurative shoulders. It didn't really help.
Normally don't enumerate my grievances, but here we are.
p. 2 - "Come on. We'll get a lif' in no time, you see. Tha's what' half these fellas are looking for - a bi' of skir'."
My suspicions begin to rise; my feathers ruffle slightly.
p. 2 - "You see. We'll be 'avin' a giggle abou' i' in the morning."
Nope, nope, nope.
p. 14 - "How the hell do I know," bellowed Morse.
The Morse I knew would not do this unless in the gravest of circumstances.
p. 16 - At a quarter past midnight Morse came into the restaurant-room where everyone was now gathered. Gaye's eyes met and held his briefly as he entered, and she felt a strong compulsion about the man. It was not so much that he seemed mentally to be undressing her, as most of the men she knew, but as if he had already done so. She listened to him with interest as he spoke.
Women do not think like this. And if they do, they do not then listen with interest.
p. 17 - "Mrs. McFee," broke in Morse gently, looking at her with an open nakedness in his eyes, "if I lived anywhere near, I'd come in myself and drool over you every night of the week."
Def not the Morse I know. But obviously, I don't know.
p. 22 - A pile of women's magazines was awkwardly stacked on the window-sill, and Morse cursorily flicked his way through make-up hints, personal problems and horoscopes. Not even a paragraph of pornography.
Were you wanting to find some, Morse?
p. 43 - He always seemed to dream of women. He sometimes wondered what he would dream about if he got himself married. Women probably, he thought.
My confidence is dropping rapidly.
p. 65 - The languid Sue, her long legs bronzed and bare, had no idea where she had gone. "Won't you come in and wait, Inspector?" The full lips parted and quivered slightly. Morse both looked and felt alarmingly vulnerable. He consulted his wrist-watch for moral support. "You're very kind but... perhaps I'd better not."
Ooooh, okay. I see where this is going. Need to draw out the sexual tension. Got it.
p. 77, 78 - Morse looked at her closely for the first time. He had not noticed before how attractive she could be. She wore a light-blue summer coat over a black jumper, with gloves in matching black. Her cheek bones were high and there was animation in her face, her mouth slightly open revealing the clean lines of her white teeth. Morse wondered if he could ever fall for her, and decided, as usual, he could.
Okay - proof for a later point. Morse obviously is a bit of a sucker for women and is not particularly choosy. She need be just mildly attractive.
p. 88, 89 - Entire sex scene between Gaye and Peter. "Peter," she whispered in his ear, "rape me again!" Just don't joke about that stuff anymore.
p. 96 - He realizes well enough that his dedication to pornography is coarsening whatever sensibilities he may once have possessed; that his craving is settling like some cancerous, malignant growth upon his mind, a mind crying out with ever-increasing desperation for its instant, morbid gratification.
A refreshingly negative bit about porn, but it would do well to turn its gaze to other forms of sexual licentiousness.
p. 131 - "Any erotic day-dreams?" "Yes," said Crowther, with a fierce burst of honesty. "It's a good job it's not a criminal offense," sighed Morse, "otherwise we'd all be inside."
Which is true, I'm sure, but no need to justify it.
p. 135, 136 - The Inspector was visibly stunned. He looked up slowly, straight and deep into the sad, come-hither face of darling Dark-eyes... This scene, when Morse asks out Sue, is not bad in itself. It's the objectification by comparing all the nurse's legs and then "miraculously" finding the beautiful pair in front of him. He has met this girl once, and yet she is his "darling." He flirts unabashedly.
p. 165-173 - Basically all of Chapter Eighteen is Morse's date with Sue. It is painful to read. "Sue leaned her head lightly against his cheek and Morse felt with a wonderful joy the moisture of her eyes. He wished the world would stop and that this heavenly moment could be launched onto the eternal seas." Gag. Again, unrealistic because they barely know each other. This is a first date. "He put his arm around her and drew her towards him and tenderly kissed the softest, heavenliest lips that ever the Almighty made." Whhhhhyyyyy. At least they don't actually sleep together and just fantasize about it. "I wish you were going to sleep with me," she whispered. "I wish you were going to sleep with me for ever, Sue." You. do. not. know. her. Then the following agonized telephone ring, when he desperately wishes it is Sue but won't pick up. I just find this romantic relationship sooooo unbelievable because it is purely based on physical attraction. Pure lust. Not noble or enviable. But wait, there is more!
p. 171 - Near the end of Chapter Eighteen, "Morse felt a hurt that he had never known before, and his voice was strained and unbelieving." Now, surely, Morse, who is middle-aged and, we can assume, no stranger to falling in love and bringing girls home, would have before now been rejected and felt hurt. This is not new! If the author is trying to make me believe that somehow Sue is different, he is failing.
p. 200 - The drama of Morse and Sue, cont. "Her arm brushed his as she pointed to the window immediately above the front door, and Morse felt a jagged ache between his temples. He wasn't a tall man and she was almost his own height in the very high wedge-heeled shoes she wore. She dropped her arm and their hands met in an accidental, beautiful way. Leave you hand there, Sue. Leave it there, my darling. He felt the electric thrill of the contact and gently, softly he ran his finger tips along her wrist." This drivel is grating.
p. 249 - "Then she saw him. He stood there, an anxious, vulnerable look in his grey eyes. The tears started in her eyes and she felt an incredible joy. He came and sat beside her. He didn't even try to hold her hand - there was no need of that. They talked, she didn't know what about. It didn't matter. 'I shall have to go,' she said. 'Try to see me soon, won't you?' It was after half-past one. Morse felt desperately sick at heart. He looked at Sue long and hard, and he knew that he loved her so dearly."
WHY DOES HE LOVE HER SO DEARLY? HOW?
pg. 281 - From the Epilogue: "Perhaps you can't believe me, and it doesn't matter anyway. But... I loved you." Morse said nothing. He felt his eyes prickling and he rubbed his left hand across them, and prayed that she would notice nothing. For a while he could not trust himself to speak, and when he did he looked down at his darling girl and said only, 'Goodbye, Sue.'"
SO. UN. RE. AL. IS. TIC. SO. UN. BE. LIEVE. ABLE.
We're done here.
*i realize that my use of punctuation is entirely inconsistent and incorrect. deal.*