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10_4tina 's review for:
Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters
by Abigail Shrier
challenging
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
Insane. Thorough. Reasonable.
Having worked in higher ed since 2017, my experience confirms everything Shrier writes. I don't find this exaggerative at all. I find the trans-identification craze to be truly insane, so contagious, and not a full and accurate representation of where teen and young adult women are actually at. At epidemic levels, I see this playing out and the adults involved can only observe with hands tied and threats of suicide holding them hostage. There is a permanency that is pressured today that has replaced promiscuous sexual exploration in favor of knowing and labeling yourself with something that might explain some of who you are and help you fit in or stand out with the right identity. I'm not articulate, but Abigail Shrier is so you should read this book.
And for anyone who finds this harsh and judgmental, I want to emphasize that Shrier interviews a wide range of perspectives from people with various identities. Feminists, members of the trans community, lesbians, de-transitioners, etc. I think she is fair in her assessments and is asking the right questions.
On a personal note, offering affirming care to young people identifying as trans while we offered challenge and support to every other concern was one of the most frustrating aspects of this issue. I completely felt held at gunpoint with so many students who threatened to take their own lives if we could not offer them the solutions they desired (trans-identifying students, but also those struggling with other mental health difficulties too). I feel like Shrier's words echo my own feelings that "we will not negotiate with terrorists" when students state they will kill themselves if they don't pass a class, if they can't get a housing policy exemption, or if we can't provide them additional financial resources. That's not a productive way for society to move.
Below are the pieces that stuck with me:
Chapter 1:
I see the introducing of one's self with "alleged hardship identity" all over - at some point I couldn't have imagined people wanting to own these real struggles as labels, let alone competing to one up each other with these identities
Chapter 5:
Perhaps the next generation is coming to see all human emotion as a sign of mental illness - I see this too. When we misconstrue feelings for illness, we teach people they are disordered. Moral vocabulary vs. psychological vocabulary (social anxiety vs. rude)
Chapter 6:
Imagine helpers responding to other disordered thinking - ie: to anorexics: 'if you fell fat, you are, I support your lived experiences' - in every other out of alignment thought a young person has, we would expect a therapist to push back on the ideas, not jump into the disordered thought with them on distorted perceptions. We want that therapist to gently challenge self-destructive thoughts, get to the root of unhappiness.
Teenagers are terrible at avoiding risky behaviors that their peers approve of.
Chapter 7:
There is no other branch of medicine, outside cosmetic surgery, where a patient makes a diagnosis and prescribes a treatment.
If you manifest distress in a way that fits into a prescribed narrative, the unconscious latches onto that, it has explanatory value to you and you receive care and attention - "symptom pools" - lists of culturally acceptable ways of manifesting distress that lead to recognized diagnoses - patients unconsciously endeavor to produce symptoms that correspond to the medical diagnostics of the time.
The whole premise of therapy is to explore - curiosity. Affirmation is the opposite of curiosity - it says, 'I already know what this is' - therapy should push a patient to question their own self assessments. If a man is suicidal because his wife left him, the answer is not to make the wife go back to him - you don't treat suicide by giving a person exactly what they want. You keep them safe and help them become more resilient.
Chapter 8:
Trans is a high-status identity and lesbian is a low-status identity in high school these days
Chapter 11:
Treatment centers may help with eating disorder recovery, but they also provide opportunities for behavior modeling and foster unconscious competition over the worst symptoms - a school assembly on a teen's suicide may cost more suicides (same with cutting, depression, and trans identification)
Having worked in higher ed since 2017, my experience confirms everything Shrier writes. I don't find this exaggerative at all. I find the trans-identification craze to be truly insane, so contagious, and not a full and accurate representation of where teen and young adult women are actually at. At epidemic levels, I see this playing out and the adults involved can only observe with hands tied and threats of suicide holding them hostage. There is a permanency that is pressured today that has replaced promiscuous sexual exploration in favor of knowing and labeling yourself with something that might explain some of who you are and help you fit in or stand out with the right identity. I'm not articulate, but Abigail Shrier is so you should read this book.
And for anyone who finds this harsh and judgmental, I want to emphasize that Shrier interviews a wide range of perspectives from people with various identities. Feminists, members of the trans community, lesbians, de-transitioners, etc. I think she is fair in her assessments and is asking the right questions.
On a personal note, offering affirming care to young people identifying as trans while we offered challenge and support to every other concern was one of the most frustrating aspects of this issue. I completely felt held at gunpoint with so many students who threatened to take their own lives if we could not offer them the solutions they desired (trans-identifying students, but also those struggling with other mental health difficulties too). I feel like Shrier's words echo my own feelings that "we will not negotiate with terrorists" when students state they will kill themselves if they don't pass a class, if they can't get a housing policy exemption, or if we can't provide them additional financial resources. That's not a productive way for society to move.
Below are the pieces that stuck with me:
Chapter 1:
I see the introducing of one's self with "alleged hardship identity" all over - at some point I couldn't have imagined people wanting to own these real struggles as labels, let alone competing to one up each other with these identities
Chapter 5:
Perhaps the next generation is coming to see all human emotion as a sign of mental illness - I see this too. When we misconstrue feelings for illness, we teach people they are disordered. Moral vocabulary vs. psychological vocabulary (social anxiety vs. rude)
Chapter 6:
Imagine helpers responding to other disordered thinking - ie: to anorexics: 'if you fell fat, you are, I support your lived experiences' - in every other out of alignment thought a young person has, we would expect a therapist to push back on the ideas, not jump into the disordered thought with them on distorted perceptions. We want that therapist to gently challenge self-destructive thoughts, get to the root of unhappiness.
Teenagers are terrible at avoiding risky behaviors that their peers approve of.
Chapter 7:
There is no other branch of medicine, outside cosmetic surgery, where a patient makes a diagnosis and prescribes a treatment.
If you manifest distress in a way that fits into a prescribed narrative, the unconscious latches onto that, it has explanatory value to you and you receive care and attention - "symptom pools" - lists of culturally acceptable ways of manifesting distress that lead to recognized diagnoses - patients unconsciously endeavor to produce symptoms that correspond to the medical diagnostics of the time.
The whole premise of therapy is to explore - curiosity. Affirmation is the opposite of curiosity - it says, 'I already know what this is' - therapy should push a patient to question their own self assessments. If a man is suicidal because his wife left him, the answer is not to make the wife go back to him - you don't treat suicide by giving a person exactly what they want. You keep them safe and help them become more resilient.
Chapter 8:
Trans is a high-status identity and lesbian is a low-status identity in high school these days
Chapter 11:
Treatment centers may help with eating disorder recovery, but they also provide opportunities for behavior modeling and foster unconscious competition over the worst symptoms - a school assembly on a teen's suicide may cost more suicides (same with cutting, depression, and trans identification)