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litwithleigh 's review for:
Playdate
by Alex Dahl
Thank you to my lovely co-host Tabitha for the b-day gift. Unfortunately this shit stank but hey I put it on my wishlist so I only have myself to blame.
Writing: 2.5/5 | Plot: 2/5 | Ending: YOU'RE TROLLING
SYNOPSIS
Dumbass Of The Year – I mean, Elisa lets her daughter have a sleepover with a complete stranger and then is shocked when something bad happens.
MY OPINION
?????????? Respectfully, how is this rated higher than her book [b:Cabin Fever: Trapped in the woods, there is no escape... The perfect chilly wintertime read|57132570|Cabin Fever Trapped in the woods, there is no escape... The perfect chilly wintertime read|Alex Dahl|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1613787300l/57132570._SY75_.jpg|88898093]? This is now my fourth from Alex Dahl, and without a doubt my least fave.
The writing? Basic, uninspired. The storytelling? She put the TELL in storytelling let's just say that. It was closed caption to the max. So many unnecessary details. A complete lack of emotive writing. Even scenes that should be harrowing, or heartbreaking, or whatever else were blander than Kashi bars. I can't believe this was the same author who made a hoe feel things in Cabin Fever. This was giving me mainstream popcorn thriller with the depth of a puddle.
Also this book was a solid 200 pages long. Yes. 200. My paperback copy was around 440 pgs and half of that was just a waste of a tree's life. I got to about halfway and debated scrubbing the grout in my shower instead. Selma and Marcus' POVs were totally unnecessary and added nothing to the story but slight diversions. Tbh I'm so glad I read book #2 [b:After She'd Gone|60182620|After She'd Gone|Alex Dahl|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1645833368l/60182620._SY75_.jpg|93009209]before this one because there's no way I'd willingly read anything with Selma's fake psychic ass again. Why the fk did we need to endure chapters of her telling us what a hard worker she is and her whack ass "visions." Waste of pages. Lucia's (missing child) POV should've been compelling but again... bland as a Kashi bar.
I really can't get into my biggest issues with this book without spoilies so here we go...
SPOILER ALERT. SCROLL TO BOTTOM.
ARE WE ACTUALLY SERIOUS????? After Lucia is kidnapped by Line (random mom Elisa trusts her daughter with), Elisa and her husband Frederik are interviewed at the station and Frederik admits he had a cyber side hoe. The police go through the FB chats with Elisa in the room and learn that cyber side hoe threatened Frederik's life and his family when he broke things off. You'd think the police would immediately track down this chick because 1) she threatened him and 2) it was a woman who took their daughter but nah, they write her off as a "bored housewife" / "looney" and it's yeeted to the side until the last quarter of the book. SHOCKER (to no one) the cyber side hoe is CENTRAL to the disappearance of their daughter. FINALLY Elisa shows Frederik a picture of Line (which she found using her secret Blackhat hacker skillz) and is like, is this your cyber side hoe by chance? And Frederik is like omfg how'd you know. At this reveal I rolled my eyes so hard they almost popped right out my skull.
If Elisa was able to dig up a pic of ole girl, why did the police not do the same and just cross their t's to ensure this isn't the same lady as Line? I absolutely HATE when authors rely on Paw Patrol policing to pull off the big twisty twist. I know, I know, police make mistakes... but literally this is just basic elimination of subjects. Also, it's NUTTERS to me that the police would ignore Elisa's insistence that the dead body found at some random farm wasn't Line and just be like: well maybe she had a really good wig and some coloured contacts and you're just mistaken???? Somebody call Detective Pikachu because I have more faith in him (her? they? idk).
The other part that really twisted my titties was the fact Elisa REFUSED to admit she had a dick on the DL just to "save face." She's constantly going on about how much she misses Lucia and would do anything to get her back... well except for tell the truth and take an L in public of course. Sorry Lucia but mommy's gotta keep her reputation in check! Again ARE WE SERIOUS??? Elisa actually goes as far to say that her secrets won't help find Lucia. SHOCKER AGAIN (to no one) but her secrets are actually key to finding Lucia! Who would've thunk it! When she finally comes clean, the Paw Patrol policemen are like girl why tf did you wait so long? And Elisa is like: well this random journalist asked me who might wanna seek revenge on me so it got me thinking. GIRL THE POLICE LITERALLY ASKED YOU THE SAME SHIT ON DAY ONE??????????
What an absolute clusterfuck. Lucia deserves better.
SPOILERS DONE.
If you liked this premise, read Andrea Mara's [b:All Her Fault|57937453|All Her Fault|Andrea Mara|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1620075242l/57937453._SY75_.jpg|87473492] instead. Same vibes but at least it's shorter so you don't waste as much time.
PROS AND CONS
PROS: it was a gift
CONS: don't make me say it again.....
____________________________
For some sick reason, do you want to hear more of my nonsense? Check out my podcast: Novels & Nonsense streaming everywhere.
Writing: 2.5/5 | Plot: 2/5 | Ending: YOU'RE TROLLING
SYNOPSIS
MY OPINION
?????????? Respectfully, how is this rated higher than her book [b:Cabin Fever: Trapped in the woods, there is no escape... The perfect chilly wintertime read|57132570|Cabin Fever Trapped in the woods, there is no escape... The perfect chilly wintertime read|Alex Dahl|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1613787300l/57132570._SY75_.jpg|88898093]? This is now my fourth from Alex Dahl, and without a doubt my least fave.
The writing? Basic, uninspired. The storytelling? She put the TELL in storytelling let's just say that. It was closed caption to the max. So many unnecessary details. A complete lack of emotive writing. Even scenes that should be harrowing, or heartbreaking, or whatever else were blander than Kashi bars. I can't believe this was the same author who made a hoe feel things in Cabin Fever. This was giving me mainstream popcorn thriller with the depth of a puddle.
Also this book was a solid 200 pages long. Yes. 200. My paperback copy was around 440 pgs and half of that was just a waste of a tree's life. I got to about halfway and debated scrubbing the grout in my shower instead. Selma and Marcus' POVs were totally unnecessary and added nothing to the story but slight diversions. Tbh I'm so glad I read book #2 [b:After She'd Gone|60182620|After She'd Gone|Alex Dahl|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1645833368l/60182620._SY75_.jpg|93009209]before this one because there's no way I'd willingly read anything with Selma's fake psychic ass again. Why the fk did we need to endure chapters of her telling us what a hard worker she is and her whack ass "visions." Waste of pages. Lucia's (missing child) POV should've been compelling but again... bland as a Kashi bar.
I really can't get into my biggest issues with this book without spoilies so here we go...
SPOILER ALERT. SCROLL TO BOTTOM.
ARE WE ACTUALLY SERIOUS????? After Lucia is kidnapped by Line (random mom Elisa trusts her daughter with), Elisa and her husband Frederik are interviewed at the station and Frederik admits he had a cyber side hoe. The police go through the FB chats with Elisa in the room and learn that cyber side hoe threatened Frederik's life and his family when he broke things off. You'd think the police would immediately track down this chick because 1) she threatened him and 2) it was a woman who took their daughter but nah, they write her off as a "bored housewife" / "looney" and it's yeeted to the side until the last quarter of the book. SHOCKER (to no one) the cyber side hoe is CENTRAL to the disappearance of their daughter. FINALLY Elisa shows Frederik a picture of Line (which she found using her secret Blackhat hacker skillz) and is like, is this your cyber side hoe by chance? And Frederik is like omfg how'd you know. At this reveal I rolled my eyes so hard they almost popped right out my skull.
If Elisa was able to dig up a pic of ole girl, why did the police not do the same and just cross their t's to ensure this isn't the same lady as Line? I absolutely HATE when authors rely on Paw Patrol policing to pull off the big twisty twist. I know, I know, police make mistakes... but literally this is just basic elimination of subjects. Also, it's NUTTERS to me that the police would ignore Elisa's insistence that the dead body found at some random farm wasn't Line and just be like: well maybe she had a really good wig and some coloured contacts and you're just mistaken???? Somebody call Detective Pikachu because I have more faith in him (her? they? idk).
The other part that really twisted my titties was the fact Elisa REFUSED to admit she had a dick on the DL just to "save face." She's constantly going on about how much she misses Lucia and would do anything to get her back... well except for tell the truth and take an L in public of course. Sorry Lucia but mommy's gotta keep her reputation in check! Again ARE WE SERIOUS??? Elisa actually goes as far to say that her secrets won't help find Lucia. SHOCKER AGAIN (to no one) but her secrets are actually key to finding Lucia! Who would've thunk it! When she finally comes clean, the Paw Patrol policemen are like girl why tf did you wait so long? And Elisa is like: well this random journalist asked me who might wanna seek revenge on me so it got me thinking. GIRL THE POLICE LITERALLY ASKED YOU THE SAME SHIT ON DAY ONE??????????
What an absolute clusterfuck. Lucia deserves better.
SPOILERS DONE.
If you liked this premise, read Andrea Mara's [b:All Her Fault|57937453|All Her Fault|Andrea Mara|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1620075242l/57937453._SY75_.jpg|87473492] instead. Same vibes but at least it's shorter so you don't waste as much time.
PROS AND CONS
PROS: it was a gift
CONS: don't make me say it again.....
____________________________
For some sick reason, do you want to hear more of my nonsense? Check out my podcast: Novels & Nonsense streaming everywhere.