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A review by longlost
Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann
emotional
funny
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
"Margot lowered herself down next to Alice, slowly, as if she were dealing with a scared animal. "Have you gone to a doctor?" she asked. She traced her delicate fingers over Alice's shoulder, curving towards her spine. It tickled, but Alice didn't show it.
"I don't need to." Number one, she thought.
"Were you abused? Is that it?"
"No." Number two.
"Are you saving yourself for marriage?"
"I hope that's a joke."
"It was," Margot admitted. Her sad smile burned in the corner of Alice's eyes. "Then what? Tell me. People don't just not like sex without a reason. It's kind of not natural, don't you think?"
This book. This book is so important. The only thing stopping me from rating this book 5 stars entirely is my own discomfort with some of the characters in it, which I'm not 100% sure on whether it's something that personally upsets me because of my own experiences, or whether it does genuinely send a concerning message.
First thing's first: the asexual representation. I'm unsure if the book is own voices, but as an asexual person I felt that the ace community and experience was treated with incredible respect and remains nuanced - I particularly appreciated the discussions between Alice and Takumi, and Alice and her therapist, that show us what asexuality means to her. Outside of the community itself I often see asexuality boiled down to "doesn't have sex ever" with no other characteristics outside of that, and seeing Alice as a character who had her own wants and limits and feelings on sexuality and romance was incredibly refreshing. Takumi was also a sweetheart - my fondness for him was helped by the fact that, honestly, I wasn't that invested or empathetic towards Feenie and Ryan, which we'll get into later.
I'm not an expert on romance by any means, but the one Claire Kann gives us here was very cute. I appreciated that Alice and Takumi have genuine conversations about their needs and wants in their relationship, and the fact that it wasn't as simple as one might hope it would bee.g. when Alice asks him out in the car and his response is less than ideal. The fact that Takumi later acknowledges that he hurt her and makes an effort to make it up to her really cemented my fondness for their relationship.
A big reason of why I finally sat down to read this book was because the author was a person of colour - as a white person with little experience in intersectionality regarding race, it was really an eye-opener to see the discussions between Alice and Takumi and Alice's own reflections on the racism they experience, and how her being black ties into her also being a queer woman.
The only thing I disliked about this book was the handling of the relationship between Feenie, Ryan and Alice. Throughout the book it's framed as a positive thing and shown that they overcome their relationship problems, but the way both Feenie and Ryan treat Alice throughout the middle of the book honestly reminds me very much of my own experiences with abuse. When Alice states that she feels left out of their friendship due to Feenie and Ryan often ditching her to be together(which is shown in the book as them leaving her alone at a party without a word, soon after which she is sexually assaulted by a random partygoer) she is treated like her frustration is unreasonable when she 100% has the right to be upset, especially after what she experienced after her friends left her without a word. One passage in particular that made me uncomfortable to read:
"I don't need to." Number one, she thought.
"Were you abused? Is that it?"
"No." Number two.
"Are you saving yourself for marriage?"
"I hope that's a joke."
"It was," Margot admitted. Her sad smile burned in the corner of Alice's eyes. "Then what? Tell me. People don't just not like sex without a reason. It's kind of not natural, don't you think?"
This book. This book is so important. The only thing stopping me from rating this book 5 stars entirely is my own discomfort with some of the characters in it, which I'm not 100% sure on whether it's something that personally upsets me because of my own experiences, or whether it does genuinely send a concerning message.
First thing's first: the asexual representation. I'm unsure if the book is own voices, but as an asexual person I felt that the ace community and experience was treated with incredible respect and remains nuanced - I particularly appreciated the discussions between Alice and Takumi, and Alice and her therapist, that show us what asexuality means to her. Outside of the community itself I often see asexuality boiled down to "doesn't have sex ever" with no other characteristics outside of that, and seeing Alice as a character who had her own wants and limits and feelings on sexuality and romance was incredibly refreshing. Takumi was also a sweetheart - my fondness for him was helped by the fact that, honestly, I wasn't that invested or empathetic towards Feenie and Ryan, which we'll get into later.
I'm not an expert on romance by any means, but the one Claire Kann gives us here was very cute. I appreciated that Alice and Takumi have genuine conversations about their needs and wants in their relationship, and the fact that it wasn't as simple as one might hope it would be
A big reason of why I finally sat down to read this book was because the author was a person of colour - as a white person with little experience in intersectionality regarding race, it was really an eye-opener to see the discussions between Alice and Takumi and Alice's own reflections on the racism they experience, and how her being black ties into her also being a queer woman.
The only thing I disliked about this book was the handling of the relationship between Feenie, Ryan and Alice. Throughout the book it's framed as a positive thing and shown that they overcome their relationship problems, but the way both Feenie and Ryan treat Alice throughout the middle of the book honestly reminds me very much of my own experiences with abuse. When Alice states that she feels left out of their friendship due to Feenie and Ryan often ditching her to be together
“I think I’d say yes. Just to see. I think I might have a serious squish on him.”
“The fuck is a squish?” Feenie sucked her teeth, shaking her head. “You know what? I don’t want to know. It seems like you’re romantically attracted to him, so there you go. Grand Mystery solved. I hereby resign from my love-coaching duties.”
alongside:
“We went upstairs. You actually left the party. That is not the same thing.” [Feenie] looked Alice right in the eyes. “I’m not going to apologize for having sex with my boyfriend when you fucking jumped ship the first chance you got because you couldn’t stand being alone for thirty minutes. Miss me with that bullshit.”
This is the kind of behaviour Feenie continually displays for Alice's transgression of simply leaving the party without them after she was sexually assaulted by a random guy at a party after they left her. Granted, we aren't given a scene where Alice tells them this happened, but it makes them extremely unsympathetic regardless. She's not even visibly angry with them for it, and this is still how she is treated. And despite her defense of the fact that she left Alice alone to be with her boyfriend, she later uses the fact that Alice is spending so much time with Takumi (partly because they, her friends, are gaslighting and belittling her half the time she's at home) and "replacing her" against Alice when she's entirely aware of Alice's conflicting maybe-romantic feelings towards him, which should justify their time spent together by Feenie's logic.
Ryan's better in the fact that he doesn't give Alice passive-aggressive comments like 50% of the time until their reconciliation, but he also tries to frame it that Alice's hurt if unjustified and that it's unfair of her to spend time with someone else without them, which is the same thing they do to her.
alongside:
“We went upstairs. You actually left the party. That is not the same thing.” [Feenie] looked Alice right in the eyes. “I’m not going to apologize for having sex with my boyfriend when you fucking jumped ship the first chance you got because you couldn’t stand being alone for thirty minutes. Miss me with that bullshit.”
This is the kind of behaviour Feenie continually displays for Alice's transgression of simply leaving the party without them after she was sexually assaulted by a random guy at a party after they left her. Granted, we aren't given a scene where Alice tells them this happened, but it makes them extremely unsympathetic regardless. She's not even visibly angry with them for it, and this is still how she is treated. And despite her defense of the fact that she left Alice alone to be with her boyfriend, she later uses the fact that Alice is spending so much time with Takumi (partly because they, her friends, are gaslighting and belittling her half the time she's at home) and "replacing her" against Alice when she's entirely aware of Alice's conflicting maybe-romantic feelings towards him, which should justify their time spent together by Feenie's logic.
Ryan's better in the fact that he doesn't give Alice passive-aggressive comments like 50% of the time until their reconciliation, but he also tries to frame it that Alice's hurt if unjustified and that it's unfair of her to spend time with someone else without them, which is the same thing they do to her.
Alice: “You two spend a lot of time together without me.”
Ryan: “That’s different. We’re engaged.”
Alice: “So I’m just supposed to sit around and wait for you both to remember I exist?”
Ryan: “Of course not, but you shouldn’t edge us out. You’re the one making it as if it has to be him or us.”
Feenie's behaviour throughout their argument made me so uncomfortable to read, and when they do eventually reconcile she turns it around so that Alice is the one apologizing for her hurt while Feenie chastises her for ever believing that Feenie and Ryan don't care about her when it was Feenie and Ryan's own actions that led Alice to be upset. While I really enjoyed the rest of the book and thought it was very well written, this aspect was just so upsetting to me that I found it hard to empathise with Feenie and Ryan's characters, and to feel like Alice was in a safe and healthy friendship with them.
However I wouldn't say that this makes the book a no-read - there's a lot more to the story besides Alice's friendship with them, and I can't say that my discomfort isn't driven by my own personal experiences with abuse and may be seen as completely different by anyone else reading. The ace rep is very well written, and the author weaves her own experiences as a black woman into the narrative in a way that really shows the microaggressions black people face on a daily basis and is worth the read IMO. While the behaviour from Feenie and Ryan and how it was justified in the text made reading this book harder for me, the rest of the story was still enjoyable and I don't regret having read the book.
Feenie's behaviour throughout their argument made me so uncomfortable to read, and when they do eventually reconcile she turns it around so that Alice is the one apologizing for her hurt while Feenie chastises her for ever believing that Feenie and Ryan don't care about her when it was Feenie and Ryan's own actions that led Alice to be upset. While I really enjoyed the rest of the book and thought it was very well written, this aspect was just so upsetting to me that I found it hard to empathise with Feenie and Ryan's characters, and to feel like Alice was in a safe and healthy friendship with them.
However I wouldn't say that this makes the book a no-read - there's a lot more to the story besides Alice's friendship with them, and I can't say that my discomfort isn't driven by my own personal experiences with abuse and may be seen as completely different by anyone else reading. The ace rep is very well written, and the author weaves her own experiences as a black woman into the narrative in a way that really shows the microaggressions black people face on a daily basis and is worth the read IMO. While the behaviour from Feenie and Ryan and how it was justified in the text made reading this book harder for me, the rest of the story was still enjoyable and I don't regret having read the book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism, Sexual assault, Acephobia/Arophobia, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Sexual content, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment
Minor: Infidelity
GRAPHIC:
Acephobia: Alice faces acephobia from her girlfriend in the very first scene.
Racism: As a black woman, Alice faces racism throughout the story.
Sexual assault: Alice is sexually assaulted at a costume party.
Toxic friendship: Alice's relationship with Feenie and Ryan is treated uncomfortably, as detailed in the above review.
MODERATE:
Sexual harrassment: There are a few scenes in the book where Alice is unwillingly hit on.
Sexual content: Asexuality is discussed in regards to sexual feelings.
Alcohol: There's alcohol at a costume party, and Alice drinks a bit when spending time with Takumi at the cabin later in the book.
MINOR:
Infidelity: Takumi talks of a past girlfriend who cheated on him several times.