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A review by ariannam
To Sir Phillip, With Love by Julia Quinn
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
0.25
Are you effing kidding me? This was so bad. Zero stars. What the f*ck.
First of all, the way Phillip dismisses his first wife's depression and always treats her like a burden for being depressed… I understand that it's not easy to deal with somebody who's dealing with depression, but IMAGINE ACTUALLY DEALING WITH DEPRESSION? There are no words to express how bad this is. Just. Icing on the cake is that heforces himself on her after the birth of their twins, and he is explicitly rough, because he wanted to "rouse her" and she lay still under him. I don't have to say it, but you know what this is, right? It doesn't matter that he flees and feels disgusted by himself afterwards. I don't give a fuck about your self-loathing.
His whole goal since the beginning is finding himself a wife to bring laughter to his home and in his life, and to be a good mother to his children. This is because, although the children beg him to spend time together, he wants to shut himself in his greenhouse all day, every day, and not care for them. This is because, in his view, he's a bad parent, so there's no use trying. GUESS WHAT, PHILLIP. GUESS WHY YOU'RE A BAD FATHER. So what you're thinking is, well, that's just the starting point. He'll grow and change his ways and attitude towards his life and children. Well, I thought so too. And guess what:After they're married, pretty far into the book, he… leaves Eloise alone all day at home to be at his job and never care for her, or his children. HIS children!!!!! He just shows up after dinner in their bedroom to fuck her. God, I wish I were kidding. AND HE THINKS THIS IS THE PERFECT MARRIAGE. Yeah, perfect for whom? Icing on the cake here? He proposed marriage to Eloise by letter and never once, in ONE YEAR OF CORRESPONDENCE, mentioned he has two eight-year-old children. NOT ONCE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Which brings us to the worst thing about him—yeah, it wasn't any of the horrible things listed above, if you can believe it.She complains about these problems in their marriage (no communication, he isn't present, he leaves childcare in the nurse's hands and to her without a second thought, he is never willing to deal with things and when she brings up problems, he dismisses her as talking too much and being insane and a typical crazy woman) and what does he do? He RAGES at her that since their marriage doesn't have the problems of his first (his wife was depressed and suicidal), she has no right to complain, because this is heaven. Are… you… kidding… me? And the worst thing is, he succeeds in his emotional manipulation, because she cries and they make love and whatnot. This isn't healthy.
Eloise flattens herself at every turn to accomodate him, and I HATE IT. I HATE IT.
So, to sum up, VERY unbalanced and unhealthy relationship, bad man, the only thing that works in their relationship is sex. And even there, I have some thoughts™, but this is too long already.
First of all, the way Phillip dismisses his first wife's depression and always treats her like a burden for being depressed… I understand that it's not easy to deal with somebody who's dealing with depression, but IMAGINE ACTUALLY DEALING WITH DEPRESSION? There are no words to express how bad this is. Just. Icing on the cake is that he
His whole goal since the beginning is finding himself a wife to bring laughter to his home and in his life, and to be a good mother to his children. This is because, although the children beg him to spend time together, he wants to shut himself in his greenhouse all day, every day, and not care for them. This is because, in his view, he's a bad parent, so there's no use trying. GUESS WHAT, PHILLIP. GUESS WHY YOU'RE A BAD FATHER. So what you're thinking is, well, that's just the starting point. He'll grow and change his ways and attitude towards his life and children. Well, I thought so too. And guess what:
Which brings us to the worst thing about him—yeah, it wasn't any of the horrible things listed above, if you can believe it.
Eloise flattens herself at every turn to accomodate him, and I HATE IT. I HATE IT.
So, to sum up, VERY unbalanced and unhealthy relationship, bad man, the only thing that works in their relationship is sex. And even there, I have some thoughts™, but this is too long already.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Suicide attempt
Supposed "hero" is very dismissive of his first wife's mental illness and treats her as a burden. I would imagine those going through similar problems would feel very badly, reading how he thinks of her.