A review by toggle_fow
Mr. Darcy's Diary by Amanda Grange

reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.5

This book managed to have almost no soul. It also hideously violated the character of Darcy in a way that makes you wonder if the author truly hates him.

The gimmick is that this book is not just Pride and Prejudice from Darcy's perspective, but it's his actual diary. From a diary format, I would expect a lot of exploration of Darcy's personal context: his wider circle of acquaintances, his business, the things that take up his thoughts day to day. Of this, we get almost nothing. It is mostly just a dry, shortform narration of P&P's main events.

The Ramsgate incident is directly covered, but in such a brief, shallow way that it's hard to believe it truly impacted Darcy or Georgiana as deeply as it's meant to. Everything is like that.

The one thing we DO get from Darcy's journal entries that isn't just regurgitation from the original is Darcy being a truly horrendous person. What seem to be the ONLY original touches on the book are constant, similar additions of Darcy's disgustingly arrogant, mean-spirited inner thoughts to every scene. Seriously, if Elizabeth had married this Darcy, she would have been in for a nasty surprise after the honeymoon period ended.

Now. There are some versions of Darcy that are completely woobified -- where he's simply awkward and shy, and never truly did anything wrong in his life. I want to make it clear that the original Austen Darcy actually was arrogant and stuck up, and occasionally mean. I'm in favor of adaptations that actually show Darcy's flaws, instead of making him a misunderstood sadboy.

HOWEVER. When you go so far to make a Darcy that could reasonably inspire more reader hatred than Wickham, that's just not accurate.

Some highlights:

• This man genuinely seems to respect Caroline Bingley. Like... sure in P&P at the first assembly Darcy implies she would not be "a punishment to stand up with." But that's the ONLY specific instance of even vague pro-Caroline sentiment I can think of. She is absolutely venomous here, as usual, and the fact that he even sits through it with a straight face, much less PARTICIPATES?? Only a villain.

• Inner monologue literally calls Elizabeth ugly. Even after he's in love with her persists in referring to her over and over as "not beautiful." UM? All of this goes way further than "tolerable," which was only said in the first place in a fit of pique.

• Again, I will return to this. Refers to Caroline's "taking an affectionate leave of her friend," when Jane leaves Netherfield after being sick. It's written like he actually perceives Caroline as showing genuine love, and this is not the only instance either. What kind of MORON?

• "Caroline was charming this evening." No, I will not let this go.

• Darcy schemes to get Georgiana and Bingley together. L O L. Darcy's opinion of Bingley is positive, but he has a severe view of several of Bingley's flaws. He would never put someone he perceives as irresponsible or flighty in his affections in Georgiana's way as a possible suitor. You would have to write at least two years of Bingley growing notably more mature as a person and Georgiana growing up and "coming out" to make this even remotely within Darcy's character.

• Suggests that Colonel Fitzwilliam marry Caroline!!!!!!!!!! What the snick snack paddy wack! No!! I will not let it go!!!

• "The charades were very enjoyable." Listen. If you can write this sentence from Darcy's POV with a straight face, you have NO understanding of who this man is.

• Literally MCFREAKING consults Caroline as to the arrangements of social events he is hosting. In what world?

• One of the rare moments in which this book exercises its own creativity is done so specifically to make the Rosings proposal MUCH MUCH MUCH worse. It embellishes a lot of terrible things into the proposal, too much to put down here, but -- take a look at a bit of what his imagination conjured for Elizabeth's theoretical acceptance speech:

"My relatives' situation in life, their follies and vices, cannot be expected to bring you pleasure, and I am sensible of the honour you do me in overlooking their inadequacies in order to ask me to be your wife. It is therefore with a humble sense of obligation that I accept your hand."

Someone just please shoot this man. Put him out of his misery. The reason he likes Elizabeth at all is BECAUSE she is NOT like this.

Does he get better after Rosings? Yes, he ostentatiously learns very specific, articulated lessons in a sort of hamhanded way. He becomes less actively terrible, but pretty much remains dull and arguably a moron. Overall, this fanfiction is what we call truly, unforgivably OOC.