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A review by jefferz
How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix
funny
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Before you even consider picking up any Grady Hendrix novel, you need to ask yourself if off-the-wall zany hijinks and ironic pulp fiction is for you. If you’re not prepared to have an open mind for this type of experience, this should be a hard pass without looking back. I was somewhat familiar with Hendrix’s distinctive style of hysterical horror but even I found myself surprised and amused by how silly it can be all while delivering the plot with a straight face. We’re talking about a FUNeral service hosted by the Fellowship of Christian Puppeteers, a rousing rendition of The Saints Go Marching On played on kazoos only, protesting the 9/11 war by making paper mâché missiles shaped like penises, and countless pop culture references from the Shining to Freddy Krueger. And yet due to the commitment and execution, it somehow coherently works. The “Haunting” or supernatural elements in this book are also entirely of the possessed dolls (or more specifically, puppets) variety. While certainly creepy on its own and surprisingly quite violent at times (potential mild triggers of bodily harm and impairment), this can be a light-hearted haunting compared to other more sinister flavors. This style and content are obviously not going to be for everyone but if it’s something that at least peaks your interest, it’s worth giving How To Sell A Haunted House a chance.
The unfortunate part and biggest drawback for me is the time and patience required to get past the first arc that’s full of flawed and unlikable characters (which is mostly by design). Most of the first 150-200 pages focus on siblings Louise and Mark’s strong distance and conflict with each other that reaches a breaking point after the death of their parents. Louise is a mom to five year old Poppy that just comes across as high-strung and judgmental as a person, as a separated co-parent, as a family member, etc. I feel like you’re supposed to feel bad for her situation since she always tries to do her best, but she comes off as heavily opinionated and strong-willed which made her a tough character to root for. I’m not sure if this is how you’re meant to enjoy the book, but I laughed every time something terrible happened to her and her lamenting that life isn’t fair had me grinning. I nearly DNF-ed this in these early pages and the only thing keeping me going was pure schadenfreude at its finest.
At the opposite end of the spectrum is her younger brother Max who is seen as a college dropout and a complete failure in Louise’s eyes. Believed to be babied and given a free-pass at everything difficult in life by her parents compared everything she had to work for, the resentment and judgement she has towards Max forms the basis of their conflict and the increasing tension while settling their parents’ estate. Despite Hendrix’s attempt to portray both as heavily flawed characters, I found myself much preferring Max (even during his worst moments) over Louise, which contributed to the schadenfreude and atypical reading experience.
It is during these first 200 pages of sibling conflict that felt the weakest and where I could see a lot of potential readers dropping the book. Spooky elements start occurring in the house but Louise’s reactions to it are quite insufferable; preferring logical causes that are so illogical in the moment. This arc sets the groundwork for the latter half of the book’s themes of familial bonds and ignoring ones problems, however taking up nearly 50% of the book feels excessive and an overkill. The conflict and distaste Louise and Mark have for each other is clearly established in the first 100 pages and I would’ve preferred to see more pages given to a later arc involving their relatives’ history. I was already not a fan of Louise’s character from the get-go and attempts made to empathize with her mostly tested my patience instead. While eerie and spooky things occur in moderation in this section, they largely fall into common horror tropes and scenes, lacking Hendrix’s signature flair compared to the more unique and exciting scenes placed exclusively in the back half of the book.
However, once the book hits the halfway mark is where things do a 180. As soon as the perspective shifts from Louise to Mark’s backstory during college (section #3 “Bargaining”), the novel finds its footing and takes off as a complete page-turning (I read pages 180 to the end in one day and largely one sitting). A blend of perceived psychological horror and haunted objects, the haunting and character dynamics become far more compelling. I thought Mark’s character background and growth was one of the strongest elements of the story and his changing relationship with Louise to be better executed than what I was expecting. While generally good, some of the action and violence got a bit tiring to me to read towards the end. I have a high tolerance for darker stories so when the haunting was purposefully gleeful, I loved it. However, more straightforward and traditional scenes were just okay and sometimes felt like they were just checking the obligatory boxes for the genre.
Luckily the narrative manages to stick the landing and I thoroughly enjoyed the ending. There are several clever plot twists in the last 100 pages that I thought were impressive and my patience tested in the first half was rewarded by the great character dynamics in the end (if only the arc involving Aunt Honey and Louise’s older relatives was more developed, it was compelling yet so brief). It may be terrible for me to say it, but my favorite part of the book might’ve been where the traditional author’s “acknowledgments” would’ve been in a typical book. Instead, we’re given a completely tongue-in-cheek funeral program pamphlet and puppet advertising flyer that’s lowkey hilarious. Hendrix knows he’s funny and I’m all for it.
<blockquote>Please note: The memorial service for Amanda Beth Cohen has been moved to the Fellowship Hall… if you have any information that may lead to an arrest in this manner, we urge you to contact Detective Ryan Dunlavey at the Mt. Pleasant Police Department.</blockquote> Amanda is his Grady’s wife, Ryan is an illustrator and frequent collaborator, and Mt. Pleasant is where he grew up. This is how you write an author jacket section that’s up there with Pierce Brown’s Harry Potter-fanboy bio for me.
It's comically silly at times but knows exactly what its doing. It’s horror-themed but only in concept and not always dark in tone. Its characters are unlikable and heavily flawed, yet it revels in bringing them misery (I think). These aspects all make How to Sell A Haunted House quite a niche choice and not the most mainstream recommendation, but it was one that fully worked for me. Possessed dolls and objects are not one of my preferred horror themes, still Hendrix managed to sell the narrative to me (sorry, couldn’t resist the dad joke). If not for the overly long sibling conflict arc in the beginning, I would’ve probably rated this higher. Definitely looking at adding some of his other works to my reading list after finishing this one!
The unfortunate part and biggest drawback for me is the time and patience required to get past the first arc that’s full of flawed and unlikable characters (which is mostly by design). Most of the first 150-200 pages focus on siblings Louise and Mark’s strong distance and conflict with each other that reaches a breaking point after the death of their parents. Louise is a mom to five year old Poppy that just comes across as high-strung and judgmental as a person, as a separated co-parent, as a family member, etc. I feel like you’re supposed to feel bad for her situation since she always tries to do her best, but she comes off as heavily opinionated and strong-willed which made her a tough character to root for. I’m not sure if this is how you’re meant to enjoy the book, but I laughed every time something terrible happened to her and her lamenting that life isn’t fair had me grinning. I nearly DNF-ed this in these early pages and the only thing keeping me going was pure schadenfreude at its finest.
At the opposite end of the spectrum is her younger brother Max who is seen as a college dropout and a complete failure in Louise’s eyes. Believed to be babied and given a free-pass at everything difficult in life by her parents compared everything she had to work for, the resentment and judgement she has towards Max forms the basis of their conflict and the increasing tension while settling their parents’ estate. Despite Hendrix’s attempt to portray both as heavily flawed characters, I found myself much preferring Max (even during his worst moments) over Louise, which contributed to the schadenfreude and atypical reading experience.
It is during these first 200 pages of sibling conflict that felt the weakest and where I could see a lot of potential readers dropping the book. Spooky elements start occurring in the house but Louise’s reactions to it are quite insufferable; preferring logical causes that are so illogical in the moment. This arc sets the groundwork for the latter half of the book’s themes of familial bonds and ignoring ones problems, however taking up nearly 50% of the book feels excessive and an overkill. The conflict and distaste Louise and Mark have for each other is clearly established in the first 100 pages and I would’ve preferred to see more pages given to a later arc involving their relatives’ history. I was already not a fan of Louise’s character from the get-go and attempts made to empathize with her mostly tested my patience instead. While eerie and spooky things occur in moderation in this section, they largely fall into common horror tropes and scenes, lacking Hendrix’s signature flair compared to the more unique and exciting scenes placed exclusively in the back half of the book.
However, once the book hits the halfway mark is where things do a 180. As soon as the perspective shifts from Louise to Mark’s backstory during college (section #3 “Bargaining”), the novel finds its footing and takes off as a complete page-turning (I read pages 180 to the end in one day and largely one sitting). A blend of perceived psychological horror and haunted objects, the haunting and character dynamics become far more compelling. I thought Mark’s character background and growth was one of the strongest elements of the story and his changing relationship with Louise to be better executed than what I was expecting. While generally good, some of the action and violence got a bit tiring to me to read towards the end. I have a high tolerance for darker stories so when the haunting was purposefully gleeful, I loved it. However, more straightforward and traditional scenes were just okay and sometimes felt like they were just checking the obligatory boxes for the genre.
Luckily the narrative manages to stick the landing and I thoroughly enjoyed the ending. There are several clever plot twists in the last 100 pages that I thought were impressive and my patience tested in the first half was rewarded by the great character dynamics in the end (if only the arc involving Aunt Honey and Louise’s older relatives was more developed, it was compelling yet so brief). It may be terrible for me to say it, but my favorite part of the book might’ve been where the traditional author’s “acknowledgments” would’ve been in a typical book. Instead, we’re given a completely tongue-in-cheek funeral program pamphlet and puppet advertising flyer that’s lowkey hilarious. Hendrix knows he’s funny and I’m all for it.
<blockquote>Please note: The memorial service for Amanda Beth Cohen has been moved to the Fellowship Hall… if you have any information that may lead to an arrest in this manner, we urge you to contact Detective Ryan Dunlavey at the Mt. Pleasant Police Department.</blockquote> Amanda is his Grady’s wife, Ryan is an illustrator and frequent collaborator, and Mt. Pleasant is where he grew up. This is how you write an author jacket section that’s up there with Pierce Brown’s Harry Potter-fanboy bio for me.
It's comically silly at times but knows exactly what its doing. It’s horror-themed but only in concept and not always dark in tone. Its characters are unlikable and heavily flawed, yet it revels in bringing them misery (I think). These aspects all make How to Sell A Haunted House quite a niche choice and not the most mainstream recommendation, but it was one that fully worked for me. Possessed dolls and objects are not one of my preferred horror themes, still Hendrix managed to sell the narrative to me (sorry, couldn’t resist the dad joke). If not for the overly long sibling conflict arc in the beginning, I would’ve probably rated this higher. Definitely looking at adding some of his other works to my reading list after finishing this one!
Content Warnings
Moderate: Gore, Toxic relationship, and Violence
Minor: Child death