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A review by shaindysaleman
Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
mysterious
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I really enjoyed this one.
I have one glaring issue with it in that it sort of glorifies abusive relationships.
"Oh- he's made his intentions clear but I know what he really means and I know he really loves me" even though his actions beg to differ over and over and over. The book directly addresses this multiple times but it doesn't make it less true.
The edge this book was teetering toward in terms of glorifying abusive (not physically or even verbal but emotional) was too close for comfort for me.
I also think that the fact that they end up together sets up super unrealistic expectations. See? People like this could be changed; they just need to meet the right person.
I think that even though Tate loved Miles a lot, she should have walked away instead of putting up with that for so long. The romantic stage doesn't last forever and old habits die hard. His learning to forgive himself for causing the accident which led to his 2-day old's son's death and the termination of his relationship with his then-girlfriend and mother of said son does not mean everything is fixed inside him. He would still have behavior to unlearn (being closed off, having the mindset of his relationship with Tate was straightforward with no strings attached, etc.)
For that reason, this relationship sent so many alarm bells running through my brain.
Yes- Miles was very honest about the expectations he hoped to achieve with this no-strings-attached thing he had going on with Tate. Yes- Tate herself acknowledges throughout that she should be getting red flags going up in her brain and she doesn't deserve to be treated like this. She even says if this was some other guy, she wouldn't put up with it.
BUT IT STILL IS GOING ON!! EVEN THOUGH THE BOOK DIRECTLY ADDRESSES/ ACKNOWLEDGES IT! Doesn't fix it!! Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
I have one glaring issue with it in that it sort of glorifies abusive relationships.
The edge this book was teetering toward in terms of glorifying abusive (not physically or even verbal but emotional) was too close for comfort for me.
I also think that the fact that they end up together sets up super unrealistic expectations. See? People like this could be changed; they just need to meet the right person.
I think that even though Tate loved Miles a lot, she should have walked away instead of putting up with that for so long. The romantic stage doesn't last forever and old habits die hard. His learning to forgive himself for causing the accident which led to his 2-day old's son's death and the termination of his relationship with his then-girlfriend and mother of said son does not mean everything is fixed inside him. He would still have behavior to unlearn (being closed off, having the mindset of his relationship with Tate was straightforward with no strings attached, etc.)
For that reason, this relationship sent so many alarm bells running through my brain.
Yes- Miles was very honest about the expectations he hoped to achieve with this no-strings-attached thing he had going on with Tate. Yes- Tate herself acknowledges throughout that she should be getting red flags going up in her brain and she doesn't deserve to be treated like this. She even says if this was some other guy, she wouldn't put up with it.
BUT IT STILL IS GOING ON!! EVEN THOUGH THE BOOK DIRECTLY ADDRESSES/ ACKNOWLEDGES IT! Doesn't fix it!! Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Grief, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Cursing and Child death
Trigger warning for emotional abuse (perhaps unintentionally).