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sunrays118 's review for:
The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making
by Jared Yates Sexton
One is left a bit confused by this book. Is it a memoir? Self-help? Culture commentary? Journalism?
The author has a mixed bag that manages to accomplish nothing. The book is a confusing bag of half completed thoughts. The first 200 some pages are a history of the author's childhood told in a confusing, muddled way that leaves the reader asking what on earth the point is. The book seems at once to be a self-indulgent, pity party while at the same time criticizing everyone else and saying how much better the author is than those around him. The book is everything on earth that this movement doesn't need. It doesn't show strength or community or a commitment to growth, the author paints a portrait of himself as the absolute horrendous toxic masculinity he attacks. The author talks endlessly about how everything awful happened to him but how he was always better than everyone else. The author was a good athlete until it was taken from him. He was still sensitive and smart and too bright for others even though people tried to take that from him. The author is completely unable to see himself as a full person. He tries desperately to control his own story and harm others in the process. It all comes across as incredibly toxic and whiny. This book will never help people to move forward.
The auto biography portion is a mess. The stories go back and forth in time, the motives of people are unclear and the stories ring as hopelessly one sided and false.
By the time the author is ready to move on to offering a more self-help style book or social commentary, it is too little too late. Very few studies are cited, precious little thought is given to considering their implications and the only advice is "be kind."
This book falls completely flat which is such a shame for a topic that needs to be considered. All in all, exceptionally disappointing.
The author has a mixed bag that manages to accomplish nothing. The book is a confusing bag of half completed thoughts. The first 200 some pages are a history of the author's childhood told in a confusing, muddled way that leaves the reader asking what on earth the point is. The book seems at once to be a self-indulgent, pity party while at the same time criticizing everyone else and saying how much better the author is than those around him. The book is everything on earth that this movement doesn't need. It doesn't show strength or community or a commitment to growth, the author paints a portrait of himself as the absolute horrendous toxic masculinity he attacks. The author talks endlessly about how everything awful happened to him but how he was always better than everyone else. The author was a good athlete until it was taken from him. He was still sensitive and smart and too bright for others even though people tried to take that from him. The author is completely unable to see himself as a full person. He tries desperately to control his own story and harm others in the process. It all comes across as incredibly toxic and whiny. This book will never help people to move forward.
The auto biography portion is a mess. The stories go back and forth in time, the motives of people are unclear and the stories ring as hopelessly one sided and false.
By the time the author is ready to move on to offering a more self-help style book or social commentary, it is too little too late. Very few studies are cited, precious little thought is given to considering their implications and the only advice is "be kind."
This book falls completely flat which is such a shame for a topic that needs to be considered. All in all, exceptionally disappointing.