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A review by booksandbigideas
You Will Get Through This Night by Daniel Howell
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
medium-paced
Look, I’m biased because Dan’s “Basically I’m Gay” video is incredibly personally important to me, but if you know me then you know I am extremely critical of media that deals with mental health, especially when marketed/appealing to teens. (The day this came out I had a bit of an angry meltdown when a certain upcoming movie musical’s trailer was released, for instance.) Admittedly, this is nonfiction which I have generally less experience outside of classwork in terms of traps and tropes it could fall into, but especially for a “celebrity” and self-help book, it is INCREDIBLY careful and was fact-checked by a psychologist. It avoids the “if you do this like I do, you can be just like me!” problem you might expect from something like this, as he acknowledges that he is still on his own journey, doesn’t always follow what he knows are best practices, and presents different options to try out to see what works. It overall stresses destigmatization of mental healthcare and mental health in general, which indeed we all have!
This book is careful in the science as well as acknowledging the impact and limitations of socioeconomic status and other factors, offering suggestions to adapt the advice to fit different circumstances, and always pointing out (almost to the point it can seem repetitive if you are reading it in order) when things may be severe enough that you should seek some sort of professional help and the distinctions between general advice and psychiatric treatment/therapy. (I also appreciated the inclusion of the effects of menstruation and hormone-affecting drugs, addressed in a gender-neutral way!) While I am a nerd delighted in the scientific and academic references (if I was still teaching, I would totally use “neurons that fire together wire together” when getting my students to make connections.), I think more casual readers will find it MUCH more approachable. It is designed to be easy and even soothing to read with exercises to return to.
His own examples and brief stories are there (and the introduction is a personal essay), as well as his usual humor to lighten the mood, but it isn’t heavy on the memoir aspects because it is meant to be as accessible to anyone, though plenty of references are there. (That said, the strategy of seeming more approachable and less intimidating by using himself as an example didn’t exactly work on me because I too am a queer socially anxious perfectionist constantly worrying, so instead of humorously roasting himself, I felt like he was also roasting me. Well, good to know my neuroses aren’t unique, I guess.) It is absolutely meant to be a starting guide and a reference...I listened to it on audio (shoutout Libro.fm!) which was enjoyable and had some bonus content (including a Q&A...and a cursed ASMR improv that I admit I didn’t make through), though it is harder to navigate and go back to different points without bookmarking them.
As someone who heavily despaired at the beginning of this year and has been on my own life-changing journey confronting my mental health (again) and authenticity, it’s great to know I’m not alone. This book and A.S. King’s SWITCH—as well as accompanying interviews and events—really made this Mental Health Awareness month personally impactful. (And now I’m closing it with Nicolle Melleby’s new book HOW TO BECOME A PLANET, about childhood depression and queerness!)
This book is careful in the science as well as acknowledging the impact and limitations of socioeconomic status and other factors, offering suggestions to adapt the advice to fit different circumstances, and always pointing out (almost to the point it can seem repetitive if you are reading it in order) when things may be severe enough that you should seek some sort of professional help and the distinctions between general advice and psychiatric treatment/therapy. (I also appreciated the inclusion of the effects of menstruation and hormone-affecting drugs, addressed in a gender-neutral way!) While I am a nerd delighted in the scientific and academic references (if I was still teaching, I would totally use “neurons that fire together wire together” when getting my students to make connections.), I think more casual readers will find it MUCH more approachable. It is designed to be easy and even soothing to read with exercises to return to.
His own examples and brief stories are there (and the introduction is a personal essay), as well as his usual humor to lighten the mood, but it isn’t heavy on the memoir aspects because it is meant to be as accessible to anyone, though plenty of references are there. (That said, the strategy of seeming more approachable and less intimidating by using himself as an example didn’t exactly work on me because I too am a queer socially anxious perfectionist constantly worrying, so instead of humorously roasting himself, I felt like he was also roasting me. Well, good to know my neuroses aren’t unique, I guess.) It is absolutely meant to be a starting guide and a reference...I listened to it on audio (shoutout Libro.fm!) which was enjoyable and had some bonus content (including a Q&A...and a cursed ASMR improv that I admit I didn’t make through), though it is harder to navigate and go back to different points without bookmarking them.
As someone who heavily despaired at the beginning of this year and has been on my own life-changing journey confronting my mental health (again) and authenticity, it’s great to know I’m not alone. This book and A.S. King’s SWITCH—as well as accompanying interviews and events—really made this Mental Health Awareness month personally impactful. (And now I’m closing it with Nicolle Melleby’s new book HOW TO BECOME A PLANET, about childhood depression and queerness!)
Content Warnings
Moderate: Suicide attempt, Panic attacks/disorders, Homophobia, and Mental illness
Minor: Addiction, Alcoholism, Bullying, Chronic illness, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Grief, Toxic relationship, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual content, and Medical content