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A review by thexwalrus
I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
i grew up with an explosive, narcissist father. as i've gotten older, i've had to reckon with the ways he's ruined my life, my ability to form healthy relationships, my perception of food and my body. it has been some of the hardest work i've ever done.
this book was like hearing someone say "i get it, y'know?" and not having that moment of doubt that they don't.
i'm sitting here crying because jennette's book - and the interviews she did about it - have been so important in allowing me to not feel guilty about hating my father unashamedly. there's always those people that say "but he's your dad" like that undoes all of the harm he did over the 26 years we lived together. it doesn't. like jennette's therapist told her, forgiveness doesn't have to be the goal when it's undeserved, and it wasn't until my mother heard her mention that on a morning news interview that she really had it click in her head. reading this and seeing jennette struggle to reckon with the part of her that hated her mother while putting her mother on a pedestal and seeing her as her reason for life hit close to home. struggling with missing her mom and acknowledging she was abusive was so important. i'm struggling so much to put words to how this book made me feel, but i'm trying.
making yourself this vulnerable while also being so funny (is dwayne johnson god? made me laugh out loud) is no easy task, but she certainly made it look that way. this book, above all, is so well-written and approachable, which is something i struggle to find in a lot of celebrity memoirs. despite how heavy and heartbreaking the material was, it was still a good read and one i plan on revisiting in the future.
i'm glad her mom died too. i'm glad she's healing, and she's found some semblance of peace. and i hope that all of us who grew up with narc parents that read this feel a little less alone, and can heal with time.
this book was like hearing someone say "i get it, y'know?" and not having that moment of doubt that they don't.
i'm sitting here crying because jennette's book - and the interviews she did about it - have been so important in allowing me to not feel guilty about hating my father unashamedly. there's always those people that say "but he's your dad" like that undoes all of the harm he did over the 26 years we lived together. it doesn't. like jennette's therapist told her, forgiveness doesn't have to be the goal when it's undeserved, and it wasn't until my mother heard her mention that on a morning news interview that she really had it click in her head. reading this and seeing jennette struggle to reckon with the part of her that hated her mother while putting her mother on a pedestal and seeing her as her reason for life hit close to home. struggling with missing her mom and acknowledging she was abusive was so important. i'm struggling so much to put words to how this book made me feel, but i'm trying.
making yourself this vulnerable while also being so funny (is dwayne johnson god? made me laugh out loud) is no easy task, but she certainly made it look that way. this book, above all, is so well-written and approachable, which is something i struggle to find in a lot of celebrity memoirs. despite how heavy and heartbreaking the material was, it was still a good read and one i plan on revisiting in the future.
i'm glad her mom died too. i'm glad she's healing, and she's found some semblance of peace. and i hope that all of us who grew up with narc parents that read this feel a little less alone, and can heal with time.