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A review by ed_kay
No Way Back by J.B. Turner
1.0
I have read other books by this author and found them serviceable thrillers, but this one is just absolute tripe. The writing is worse than anything by Dan Brown, repetitive and moronic. The plotting is thin. The 'hero', presumably due to be a recurring character in a new series, is totally bland: uncharismatic and with no special skills. And Turner seems to think that by making him shout out "Fuck!" every once in a while it will truly convey the depth of feeling that he's experiencing.
I hated it, and by the end was just reading to see how awful it would get. I highlighted a number of passages that had me laughing and/or angry at just how bad they were.
At the shrink's, McNeal is talking about his murdered son, and has this incredible insight into his own psyche:
Yeah, I wonder why you're angry, when your crazy partner murders your son and you shoot him down in return? Can't imagine why that would make you angry.
After not sleeping with a woman sent as a honey trap - even though McNeal is single, and lonely, and has every right to go to bed with whoever the hell he pleases - his father waffles on like some AI Chatbot about how amazing it was that he didn't:
Plot devices didn't make much sense. McNeal inherits millions from his dead wife, so is now totally financially secure, and yet once he gets fingered for her death and they threaten to take away his pension, he keeps freaking out about it. Who cares about a pension when you're a millionaire?
They keep going on about being bugged and/or tracked by mobile phone, but I don't think Turner understands how this is supposed to work:
So many problems with this. How do the bad guys know he's taken the battery out of his phone in the first place? Even if he did, that doesn't mean he's not bugged (a separate thing), or being tracked, or not alone. It just doesn't make any sense.
In this hilarious exchange, McNeal the personality vacuum has another mindless bit of repartee with his brother who, despite being in about 50% of the book, somehow is even more badly drawn, and whose sole purpose appears to be around just so that McNeal can have the weirdest, least interesting, conversations with (rather than just shouting "Fuck" to himself):
Yeah, why would people who are prepared to kill humans shoot a dog, it's a real mystery.
Just as the brothers decide to kill someone - on the spur of the moment! - Peter has a great idea about how they can get rid of the body, in the world's most incredible plot development ever written:
Dexter has nothing on Peter. Boy, was this guy prepared.
I hated it, and by the end was just reading to see how awful it would get. I highlighted a number of passages that had me laughing and/or angry at just how bad they were.
At the shrink's, McNeal is talking about his murdered son, and has this incredible insight into his own psyche:
"There's an anger I can't explain"
Yeah, I wonder why you're angry, when your crazy partner murders your son and you shoot him down in return? Can't imagine why that would make you angry.
After not sleeping with a woman sent as a honey trap - even though McNeal is single, and lonely, and has every right to go to bed with whoever the hell he pleases - his father waffles on like some AI Chatbot about how amazing it was that he didn't:
"Son, listen to me. I’m proud of you. Easiest thing in the world to succumb to something like that. But that’s not what we are. The McNeals are loyal. And true. Your mother, God rest her soul, would have turned in her grave if you had fallen for that woman’s charms... But she raised you good."
Plot devices didn't make much sense. McNeal inherits millions from his dead wife, so is now totally financially secure, and yet once he gets fingered for her death and they threaten to take away his pension, he keeps freaking out about it. Who cares about a pension when you're a millionaire?
They keep going on about being bugged and/or tracked by mobile phone, but I don't think Turner understands how this is supposed to work:
"One final thing: remember, take the battery out of your cell phone."
"Why do you want me to do that?"
"So, we know you’re alone and not being followed. Do you copy?"
So many problems with this. How do the bad guys know he's taken the battery out of his phone in the first place? Even if he did, that doesn't mean he's not bugged (a separate thing), or being tracked, or not alone. It just doesn't make any sense.
In this hilarious exchange, McNeal the personality vacuum has another mindless bit of repartee with his brother who, despite being in about 50% of the book, somehow is even more badly drawn, and whose sole purpose appears to be around just so that McNeal can have the weirdest, least interesting, conversations with (rather than just shouting "Fuck" to himself):
"I’m sorry this happened, Peter. Truly sorry."
"Who kills a fucking dog?"
"The same people who killed Caroline."
"But why? It’s a dog."
McNeal nodded.
Yeah, why would people who are prepared to kill humans shoot a dog, it's a real mystery.
Just as the brothers decide to kill someone - on the spur of the moment! - Peter has a great idea about how they can get rid of the body, in the world's most incredible plot development ever written:
"I’ve been renovating our house, remember. I’ve got stuff in the trunk. DIY stuff. Builders’ equipment. Tools. It’s all in the trunk of my car." Peter reached inside the trunk and hauled out polyethylene waterproof sheeting, rolls of duct tape, a five-gallon bucket, two large bottles of water, and a large bag of quick-drying cement.
Dexter has nothing on Peter. Boy, was this guy prepared.