A review by junoversum
Bellies by Nicola Dinan

challenging emotional reflective tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I really wanted to love this novel. Representation of the vulnerable process of discovering one's transness and especially representation concerning the complex emotions around transition and its effect on various relationships are so rare and I was very excited for the premise of this story. The main characters felt very real in their struggles and imperfections and a lot of thoughts and metaphors regarding relationships, care and vulnerability hit close to home. I highlighted multiple passages that felt meaningful and worth remembering. 

However, I felt increasingly sad to discover throughout the story that Ming never experiences any kind of trans community and support (outside of the literal support group which I would argue does not really count). She is shown to be very isolated throughout discovering her transness, even when she moves to New York and gets a new start of building a life and friendships. Her most touching relationship (to me) was her relationship with Cindy. Sometimes to be shown and to believe that you are cared for is so unexpected and so simple. I wish Ming would have gotten more space to be vulnerable, to be uncertain, to be seen and understood. 

I liked a lot that the novel includes perspectives from both Ming and Tom, although I have to admit that I did not care much about Tom's perspective. I found him quite boring and struggled to remember why he was supposed to be a loveable character (?), but I liked the portrayal of his relationship with Rob, the physical closeness and tenderness they shared. But I hate that he was never held accountable for his transphobic behaviour in his relationship with Ming. Overall, I could not shake the feeling that Tom's perspective and Ming's isolation were both part of an attempt to make (her) transness palatable for cis people. 

Additionally, I am very irritated at this novel's approach to eating disorder and body issues. To me it felt like they were thrown into the mix of topics quite carelessly. The explicit descriptions of Cass's eating disorder were used mainly to highlight issues in her relationship with Rob and her dysfunctional dynamic with Ming. This is a very dangerous and shallow approach to how eating disorders work. Ming's (partly dysphoric) body issues and corresponding eating disorder were also mentioned only once. At no point was anyone showing deeper concern than a slight worry (and in Tom's case: disgust) and it was never mentioned that people with eating disorders can and should accept help in dealing with them, rather than waiting for them to diminish or disappear. This is especially irritating to me as food, the enjyoment of cooking and eating were extensively described throughout the book, which seems contradictory.
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