A review by just_one_more_paige
Fleishman Is in Trouble by Taffy Brodesser-Akner

funny reflective slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

 
I've had this one on my TBR list and bookshelf for years now. I had heard a lot of great things about it, but was struggling to find the right reading mood for it (based on the blurb). High "literary" fiction is something I am always interested in reading in theory, but really struggle to sit down with and really focus on. I appreciate that level of writing, but I know myself well enough to know I wander (mentally) through it. But, I finally worked up enough curiosity and got my hands on a copy of the audiobook from the library. So, boom! 
 
A blurb, per Goodreads: Recently separated Toby Fleishman is suddenly, somehow--and at age forty-one, short as ever--surrounded by women who want him: women who are self-actualized, women who are smart and interesting, women who don't mind his height, women who are eager to take him for a test drive with just the swipe of an app. Toby doesn't mind being used in this way; it's a welcome change from the thirteen years he spent as a married man, the thirteen years of emotional neglect and contempt he's just endured. Anthropologically speaking, it's like nothing he ever experienced before, particularly back in the 1990s, when he first began dating and became used to swimming in the murky waters of rejection. But Toby's new life--liver specialist by day, kids every other weekend, rabid somewhat anonymous sex at night--is interrupted when his ex-wife suddenly disappears. Either on a vision quest or a nervous breakdown, Toby doesn't know--she won't answer his texts or calls. Is Toby's ex just angry, like always? Is she punishing him, yet again, for not being the breadwinner she was? As he desperately searches for her while juggling his job and parenting their two unraveling children, Toby is forced to reckon with the real reasons his marriage fell apart, and to ask if the story he has been telling himself all this time is true. 
 
This novel exceeded my expectations in being exactly what I expected/as advertised. First, this is an extremely smartly written novel. The writing is immaculate and has a literary snark that is both subtle (in how polished it reads) and very, very palpable. It is observational in a voyeuristic way that was fascinating in how it combined vulgarity and that "can't look away" trainwreck vibe with high-brow writing. Honestly, most of this story isn't really very pretty. And in fact, many aspects are downright ugly. But the thing is, that's just the reality of being human. And even though you kind of hate it, you also can't help but see yourself in parts of it, even if the exact details of your individual "ugly" may be different. It's hard to face that kind of insight, though it does make the story hit harder. And Brodesser-Akner delivers it wrapped in a dark humor that isn't *quite* healthy, but makes it easier to look at. Like, Toby and Rachel's stories - both the way they develop together and separately - and the story of the person narrating (Toby's friend Libby), and Toby's friend Seth (and really all the adults featured in this novel), are truly just sad. Reading them is depressing. It's all the things about adulthood and parenthood and getting older and living life that suck, that drag a person down, that you hope you never end up experiencing/being. But also in a strange way, reading it is like a relief, in the way that other people’s problems can be an escape valve. I don't know. It's not upbeat or anything, not by a long shot. But I also never lost sleep over how disheartening these dismal outlooks on life/relationships are. Like I said, voyeuristic. 
 
Let me share some other scattered thoughts I jotted down while reading. I was completely here for the reclamation of sexual activity at an “older” age. I mean, it wasn't portrayed in a particularly healthy way, within the confines of the story/themes, but all types of sexuality should be represented in literature, and it wasn't unsafe, so, great. This was long. And since it was also very much a meanderingly narrated (like the way your more distractible friend tells a story) work, and more character study than plot (by a long shot), it seemed even longer. I was impressed by the writing and how nuanced these characters were, but I still wonder if the same thing could have been achieved in a slightly more succinct way. Thank goodness for the audio. I wasn't sure about the narrative choice for a while. It was unique - mostly third person omniscient, but also occasionally first person. And I was questioning how they knew so much; how Brodesser-Akner would explain that (or if she would). Well, in the end, I felt like it was explained/concluded well enough that I wasn't upset about it. But I am still not sure where I land on liking it outright. I did, however, like that by the end, we got the opposite (Rachel's) perspective of the same events we'd spent all the book hearing about from Toby. That dual POV of the same time/experiences/events, and seeing how different they are, is always a favorite literary style/trope of mine. There is *a lot* of privilege in this book. Not a criticism necessarily, as it’s telling a story of a specific situation and that fits, but it’s very much not recognized by the characters/narrator (as it likely wouldn’t be, IRL), but still just be aware.  
 
Topically, Brodesser-Akner hits on some major themes. Primarily, of course, this is a meditation on longing and desire and relationships and “settling” and the ways they all interact. I love how many of these feelings/interactions made little to no sense, because, at the end of the day, who can help their feelings? They're all very common human emotions and reactions, but still impossible to explain when one wants a reason and so often there isn’t one. Also, the way that one is never all one thing or all another thing or all everything. People and emotions and choices are complicated and seeing all that reflected (accurately) is something I appreciated a lot in this novel. Finally, there are so many astute observations about being a man vs woman, wife vs husband, mother vs father. And, as always, the impossibility of expectations on women (that men cannot understand, even when they too feel like what's expected of them is too much/not what they want, it's still not the same, never the same) is central; the culprit, if you will. 
 
So fascinating character study and of nuanced characters with darkly humorous and incredibly intelligent writing, I'm very glad I finally read this. But I recommend it only under certain moods/circumstances because it won't be for everyone and it certainly isn't particularly easy/light. But like, there’s a lot to unpack and/or discuss. If you’re interested. 
 
“Go with what you want, instead of what you are supposed to want.” 
 
“…when she was working as hard as he was to make their misery seem normal.” 
 
"...what these divorces were all about was a lack of forgiveness: She would not forgive him for not being more impressed by her achievements than inhibited by his own sensitivities; he would not forgive her for being a star that shone so brightly that he couldn't see his own reflection in the mirror anymore. But also, divorce is about  forgetfulness - a decision to stop remembering the moment before all the chaos - the moment they fell in love, the moment they knew they were more special together than apart. Marriages live in service to the memory of those moments. Their marriage would not forgive them for getting older, and they would not forgive their marriage for witnessing it." 
 
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