A review by alienor
Royally Endowed by Emma Chase

2.0

I have a special corner of Hell in my mind for books that promise me the earth in the beginning and then don't deliver. How dare you?!

[b:Royally Endowed|30176334|Royally Endowed (Royally, #3)|Emma Chase|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1493399991l/30176334._SX50_.jpg|50617673] earned its VIP place in my personal firepit when it morphed from a promising slow-burn to... I literally do not know, a hollow and cliché remake of every fucking bodyguard romance out there?

Starring...
✓ a breathtaking (that's because my brain is choking on too much stupid) story of some dangerous stalker whose name I don't remember (bwahahahahaha/twisting mustache/*in a singing voice* you're a cheap plot device plot device plot device)
✓ KIDS, OMG, so many pregnancies and kids because cuuuuuuuuute (I guess?) (I do love kids, but the cheap epilogues make me gag more often than not, and with 3 couples on page here, it was too much)
✓ Weddings of characters I don't care about (BUT that's on me, I haven't read the first books because really?! Princes? DUDE. Have you met me? I am utterly unable to grasp what's so interesting about princes, in life and books just the same)
✓ Terrible sex-scenes, oh my god the sex-scenes were so
u n d e r w h e l m i n g
(in the usual oh gosh, I love how you fill me, completely, is that my bellybutton you're touching? kind of way) that I skimmed them (which is always very telling in my opinion).

Truly, I loved Logan in the beginning - I even texted my best friend with infatuated nonsense - and I thought that [b:Royally Endowed|30176334|Royally Endowed (Royally, #3)|Emma Chase|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1493399991l/30176334._SX50_.jpg|50617673] had the potential to make my little heart beat. Alas, that was before both leads started to... talk to me as if I was their therapist? I mean, really. The story's taking place through more than 5 years, therefore at first? I understood the way the chapters were written. Think short scenes, multiple jumps in time, focus-focus now we're done. I even enjoyed it. BUT. I didn't expect that this particular storytelling would go on and on and on during most of the book, and I quickly became very tired of the characters telling me (boring) things I wanted to see (maybe not, actually), thank you very much. The chemistry just... fizzled out (and not in a melting on the floor kind of way) and I started reading faster and faster (yep, that would be skimming) until the stalker subplot began (destroying my interest forever).

Oh my GOD. Have I really read the love-story between Miss Pixie Dream Girl (who has cute breasts and stuff) and her caveman-but-sweet spechul guard? That needs to stop. My binge-read of romance novels is getting out of hands and I'll be heartless before I know it (and I'll have no friends, probably)

Don't say it's too late. Don't. Please don't.

Honestly though, I know that many of you think that I'm too hard on romance novels and maybe I am? But here's how I see things : let's face it, most romance novels have no breathtaking plots, are predictable, unoriginal and cliché : so if I feel meh about the whole thing, if I don't fall in love, what's the fucking point? None, as far as I'm concerned.

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