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A review by rereader33
Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty
1.0
Question: What was the point of this novel?
Answer: To remind the masses that the world is populated by assholes and you probably shouldn't get married because you'll either end up divorced or in a profoundly unhappy marriage. Unless you're the main character, then you get a happy ending because THAT TOTALLY HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE, RIGHT?! RIGHT?!?!
No, seriously, that's pretty much what this book is about. Everyone is an asshole (until the end when you UNDERSTAND their pain) and marriage is a FUCKING TERRIBLE IDEA. Oh right, I forgot to mention that everyone is judgmental AS FUCK and the men are constantly sizing up women because it's not this is 2018 (when it was published) and we can't write better male characters, we have to write them as rude, judgmental douche canoes because REALISM, RIGHT?!
On top of the rude male characters (except Napoleon, he was fine) the SHEER AMOUNT of body-shaming drove me UP THE FUCKING WALL. Guys, you can write a book dealing with body issues WITHOUT having women AND men body-shaming others and themselves. I get it Moriarty, people have body insecurities regardless of age, CAN WE MOVE THIS ALONG?!
Still going off of characters, can we talk about Masha and how insensitively her character was handled? Never mind the fact that she's only one of TWO ethnically diverse characters in this novel (Yao was just a sheep, couldn't care less about him) but she is so clearly a Russian stereotype that I actually cringed MULTIPLE times during this reading endeavor. The biggest issue I had with her, and quite frankly this book as a whole, is one message that's never properly addressed and I can only imagine Masha is meant to be in human form-the idea not all pain is equal or valid.
Here's the thing, guys: pain, specifically emotional pain, is not quantifiable. It's easy for people to say, "oh well, I shouldn't complain about what I'm going through, someone else is probably going through something worse," and if you are someone who says that, YOU SHOULD FUCKING STOP. Pushing aside the fact that that mentality is what a lot of abuse victims use to justify their situation and their abuser's behavior, the simple truth is that ALL PAIN IS VALID. You can't compare a bully victim to a terrorist attack survivor or the victim of a robbery to a victim of an attempted murder because THERE'S NOTHING TO COMPARE BECAUSE ALL OF THAT PAIN IS VALID. I know I'm harping on this but this is a very serious issue that is RARELY addressed and it why a lot of people won't speak up if they have problems because they're constantly thinking, "well, someone could have it worse," or people are TELLING them, "it's not as bad as it could be," and THAT'S WHY so many people never seek professional help and IT NEEDS TO FUCKING STOP. The fact that Moriarty, who's usually so spot on in her depictions of real-world issues and has a tendency to call out bullshit, CHOSE to create a character that is basically saying, "none of you idiots should be crying, I've had it far worse," AND IS NEVER CHALLENGED OR QUESTIONED pisses me off more than you can imagine. I don't care that everyone got their fucking happy ending (don't even get me started on that horseshit), everyone was pretty told to "handle it their own way" and did which is NOT a healthy message to send in literature. Fuck, Napoleon was the only one who got counseling when frankly EVERYONE should have and it's okay because everyone else just kind of moves on? Without any professional help? He's the only one who needed it? Yeah, fuck that shit.
On a separate note, I know everyone complained about the "plot twist" and how they stopped liking it after that because everything got too weird. I don't disagree with them on the weird part, my problem is the idea that what was revealed was an actual plot twist. I kid you not, when I read other people's reviews and they talked about that part, the first thought that came to me was, "wait, that was a plot twist?" I say this because, and maybe this makes me old fashioned, to me a plot twist is something the book has been building up to this point, meaning there were CLUES up until that point to lead to the big reveal. Not only were there ZERO CLUES that lead to the reveal, it didn't seem like a plot twist. Nothing changed in terms of the narrative, it just revealed what a whack-a-doodle Masha was. So yeah, plot twist my ass.
I'm not going to on about all the fucked-up aspects of this book because I would honestly be here all day, so I'm going to end it with this. Is this book worth your time? NO. Big Little Lies and The Husband's Secret were infinitely better. If you want to read one her books, I'd recommend those. And if you have already read those and her other previous books? Still skip this one, it's not even close to the quality of her previous books.
Answer: To remind the masses that the world is populated by assholes and you probably shouldn't get married because you'll either end up divorced or in a profoundly unhappy marriage. Unless you're the main character, then you get a happy ending because THAT TOTALLY HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE, RIGHT?! RIGHT?!?!
No, seriously, that's pretty much what this book is about. Everyone is an asshole (until the end when you UNDERSTAND their pain) and marriage is a FUCKING TERRIBLE IDEA. Oh right, I forgot to mention that everyone is judgmental AS FUCK and the men are constantly sizing up women because it's not this is 2018 (when it was published) and we can't write better male characters, we have to write them as rude, judgmental douche canoes because REALISM, RIGHT?!
On top of the rude male characters (except Napoleon, he was fine) the SHEER AMOUNT of body-shaming drove me UP THE FUCKING WALL. Guys, you can write a book dealing with body issues WITHOUT having women AND men body-shaming others and themselves. I get it Moriarty, people have body insecurities regardless of age, CAN WE MOVE THIS ALONG?!
Still going off of characters, can we talk about Masha and how insensitively her character was handled? Never mind the fact that she's only one of TWO ethnically diverse characters in this novel (Yao was just a sheep, couldn't care less about him) but she is so clearly a Russian stereotype that I actually cringed MULTIPLE times during this reading endeavor. The biggest issue I had with her, and quite frankly this book as a whole, is one message that's never properly addressed and I can only imagine Masha is meant to be in human form-the idea not all pain is equal or valid.
Here's the thing, guys: pain, specifically emotional pain, is not quantifiable. It's easy for people to say, "oh well, I shouldn't complain about what I'm going through, someone else is probably going through something worse," and if you are someone who says that, YOU SHOULD FUCKING STOP. Pushing aside the fact that that mentality is what a lot of abuse victims use to justify their situation and their abuser's behavior, the simple truth is that ALL PAIN IS VALID. You can't compare a bully victim to a terrorist attack survivor or the victim of a robbery to a victim of an attempted murder because THERE'S NOTHING TO COMPARE BECAUSE ALL OF THAT PAIN IS VALID. I know I'm harping on this but this is a very serious issue that is RARELY addressed and it why a lot of people won't speak up if they have problems because they're constantly thinking, "well, someone could have it worse," or people are TELLING them, "it's not as bad as it could be," and THAT'S WHY so many people never seek professional help and IT NEEDS TO FUCKING STOP. The fact that Moriarty, who's usually so spot on in her depictions of real-world issues and has a tendency to call out bullshit, CHOSE to create a character that is basically saying, "none of you idiots should be crying, I've had it far worse," AND IS NEVER CHALLENGED OR QUESTIONED pisses me off more than you can imagine. I don't care that everyone got their fucking happy ending (don't even get me started on that horseshit), everyone was pretty told to "handle it their own way" and did which is NOT a healthy message to send in literature. Fuck, Napoleon was the only one who got counseling when frankly EVERYONE should have and it's okay because everyone else just kind of moves on? Without any professional help? He's the only one who needed it? Yeah, fuck that shit.
On a separate note, I know everyone complained about the "plot twist" and how they stopped liking it after that because everything got too weird. I don't disagree with them on the weird part, my problem is the idea that what was revealed was an actual plot twist. I kid you not, when I read other people's reviews and they talked about that part, the first thought that came to me was, "wait, that was a plot twist?" I say this because, and maybe this makes me old fashioned, to me a plot twist is something the book has been building up to this point, meaning there were CLUES up until that point to lead to the big reveal. Not only were there ZERO CLUES that lead to the reveal, it didn't seem like a plot twist. Nothing changed in terms of the narrative, it just revealed what a whack-a-doodle Masha was. So yeah, plot twist my ass.
I'm not going to on about all the fucked-up aspects of this book because I would honestly be here all day, so I'm going to end it with this. Is this book worth your time? NO. Big Little Lies and The Husband's Secret were infinitely better. If you want to read one her books, I'd recommend those. And if you have already read those and her other previous books? Still skip this one, it's not even close to the quality of her previous books.