A review by lelex
Fly on the Wall: How One Girl Saw Everything by E. Lockhart

5.0

God, I love this book. It's quick and perfect and I've read it so many times that it feels like a softcover book from the library, all worn and well-read.

It's similar to All-American Girl and If I Have a Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince? where there were parts that I could call forth like a premonition because I've read it so many times but there were also bits that I'd completely forgotten. The Titus/Brat storyline completely slipped my mind and I was so surprised to read it again. Absolutely some I Am Not Like Other Girls vibes, but in the reverse way where Gretchen is normal at an arts school, so when it came out it was probably kind of subversive lmao. Also, heads up for the frequent f slurs, although there is a pretty good conversation about it near the end of the book.

An absolute treat and a quick read. Plus all the biscuit and milkshake and gherkin talk has always made me laugh.

"What's up?"
"With me? The usual. Random acts of violence, media saturation, teenage angst, utter mayhem." I sound like an idiot. But what else am I gonna say? My parents are getting a divorce? I'm practically flunking drawing and literature? My best friend's barely speaking to me and changes the subject when I ask her where she was on Saturday night? I think about you all the time and I want your body?

"I freak the hell out for several hours, just creeping up and down the windowsill with my heart in a knot of anxiety and fear."

"God. In which case, God is punishing me. But for what, precisely? Being too lame to clean my room? Too shy to talk to the boys I like? Too obsessed with superheroes? Angry at my dad? I mean, I am a schmuck in all these ways and more and I also say "hell" too much, but if God has decided that I deserve possibly eternal insectitude for what I've done, then what is he (or she) doing to all the rapists and murderers?"

"And if this is Hell, then why does eternal damnation look exactly like the boys' locker room at Ma-Ha? And why am I being punished for my short, schmucky life by watching naked boys parade around the showers?"

"But maybe he was saying, "Hey, enjoy your youth because I'm putting a curse on you and TURNING YOU INTO AN INSECT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, STARTING TOMORROW."

"What do I want in a guy, anyway? I might be pretty happy dating a geek who can really shake it."

"Two almond croissants, a fresh-squeezed orange juice and a hot chocolate later, I am convinced that the existence of French pastry and Florida fruit is enough to make anyone happy to be alive."

"When they're clean, I keep Yellow Baby and Rollo, plus my old teddy bear, and put the rest in a bag for the Salvation Army store. I know it's stupid, but I whisper goodbye to them and tell them I love them."

"Spidey's got nothing on me today. I'm Gretchen Yee, advocate for equal opportunity and proud wearer of a red vinyl miniskirt. Housefly no more."