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mike_morse 's review for:
Bared to You
by Sylvia Day
I know you're going to ask. The answer is I'd seen this "Fifty Shades of Gray" book on the best seller list, and I was curious. Not curious enough to get the book and read it, but curious. Then, I get Mary's audiobooks from the library, and there's this "Bared to You". I look at Amazon, and it's rated 4.0, and everyone compares it to FSOG. Almost the same book, they say. So, I listened to "Bared to You". Why I actually got to the end of this tedious book is another story. I knew halfway through that 1) there would be no resolution, i.e. it would end "to be continued" (which I hate), and 2) that it wouldn't get any better. So, one star for a certain kind of "can't look away from the train wreck" ability to captivate.
Honestly, one of the strangest books I've ever read. At first I thought it might be satire. But of what? How can a book with this quote not be satire? "Gideon licked his lower lip, and my sex clenched in violent demand." But Goodread readers have rated this book 4.19, with over 80,000 ratings!
So, now I know the difference between men's and women's pornography. In women's porn, after the characters have sex, they go to couple's counseling! (Trust me, this does not happen in men's porn.)
OK, now I'm going to be judgmental. This book is evil. Someone needs to explain to me its popularity. This is the ultimate, "I know he's abusive, but I think I can change him" book. Except the author doesn't even bother to give the abusive boyfriend a sensitive side worth caring about. She hints that he was himself abused as a child, but does anybody on the planet think that excuses abusive behavior, or indicates that the abuser will someday reform? All the characters in this book are evaluated on the basis of not just physical beauty, but what I guess I'd call "hotness" (of course, they are all incredibly "hot"). Plus, all the characters are incredibly wealthy, and really don't do much outside their incredibly fabulous jobs other than go to the gym to work out (and, of course, have sex).
Here's a joke: The professor asked his class, "What human organ expands to 10 times its normal size when stimulated?" Nobody raises their hand, so he asks Mary to respond. She says, "Professor, I know the answer, but surely you can't expect me to say it aloud in class!" The Professor says, "Mary, your answer tells me three things. One, you didn't do the reading. Two, your mind is in the gutter. And three, some day you're going to be sadly disappointed." Enthusiastic readers of "Bared to You" may suffer the same fate. (If you haven't heard the joke before, the correct answer is the iris.)
Honestly, one of the strangest books I've ever read. At first I thought it might be satire. But of what? How can a book with this quote not be satire? "Gideon licked his lower lip, and my sex clenched in violent demand." But Goodread readers have rated this book 4.19, with over 80,000 ratings!
So, now I know the difference between men's and women's pornography. In women's porn, after the characters have sex, they go to couple's counseling! (Trust me, this does not happen in men's porn.)
OK, now I'm going to be judgmental. This book is evil. Someone needs to explain to me its popularity. This is the ultimate, "I know he's abusive, but I think I can change him" book. Except the author doesn't even bother to give the abusive boyfriend a sensitive side worth caring about. She hints that he was himself abused as a child, but does anybody on the planet think that excuses abusive behavior, or indicates that the abuser will someday reform? All the characters in this book are evaluated on the basis of not just physical beauty, but what I guess I'd call "hotness" (of course, they are all incredibly "hot"). Plus, all the characters are incredibly wealthy, and really don't do much outside their incredibly fabulous jobs other than go to the gym to work out (and, of course, have sex).
Here's a joke: The professor asked his class, "What human organ expands to 10 times its normal size when stimulated?" Nobody raises their hand, so he asks Mary to respond. She says, "Professor, I know the answer, but surely you can't expect me to say it aloud in class!" The Professor says, "Mary, your answer tells me three things. One, you didn't do the reading. Two, your mind is in the gutter. And three, some day you're going to be sadly disappointed." Enthusiastic readers of "Bared to You" may suffer the same fate. (If you haven't heard the joke before, the correct answer is the iris.)