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A review by percys_panda_pillow_pet
This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel
challenging
emotional
funny
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
This is how it always is by Laurie Frankel is a brilliantly written novel and I was hooked from the very first page. I am quite a fan of the idea that a child was predestined to be trans or gay, but not in a literal sense but in a joking sense. That is, the story starts with the main character Rosie doing everything she can, hoping against hoping, that she will have a girl instead of another boy, after the 4 boys she birthed previously. The child turns out to be AMAB, assigned male at birth, but this does not seem to hold up in the years to come as the child grows and comes into their own.
There are a lot of things I thought weren't the best about this book, the weird centering of a mission trip to Thailand to show that the concerns of our characters' lives were but nothing in the face of "true poverty" or such, first and foremost. However, there were a lot of things this book did well, including introducing the idea of tolerant people and intolerant people, especially in relation to transphobia.
While the characters and situations felt like they could've been a bit more realistic, at the same time, there was almost a charm in being able to read about such an accepting family, and the magic of twins meeting other twins around the same age and hitting it off spectacularly, or two girls being close enough in age and homes, that they could poke each other's windows and get a response late into the night. The book was very engaging and worthwhile, though I am not sure it was entirely for me.
What I mean by that is that I am part of the LGBTQ+ community and not simply an ally. I am deeply entrenched in the politics and drama that go on within and outside of the community. The author is not perfect by any means, and was taking some inspiration from her own life, she definitely means well and did not overstep her boundaries as she wrote mostly from the perspective of the parent and not the child transitioning. However, because of that, I did feel that this was a book best read by those who relate to that position most.
I did like the nuance given to the child's gender identity because gender, no matter if you are trans, cis, or in-between, is nuanced. I myself really relating to the notion of not being able to just categorize things as "girl things" and "boy things", of living in an in-between zone, a null zone that not many people know about or understand.
I hope everyone and anyone gives this book a try because it is definitely a step forward in being more understanding and accepting of trans people, of normalizing the trans identity.
There are a lot of things I thought weren't the best about this book, the weird centering of a mission trip to Thailand to show that the concerns of our characters' lives were but nothing in the face of "true poverty" or such, first and foremost. However, there were a lot of things this book did well, including introducing the idea of tolerant people and intolerant people, especially in relation to transphobia.
While the characters and situations felt like they could've been a bit more realistic, at the same time, there was almost a charm in being able to read about such an accepting family, and the magic of twins meeting other twins around the same age and hitting it off spectacularly, or two girls being close enough in age and homes, that they could poke each other's windows and get a response late into the night. The book was very engaging and worthwhile, though I am not sure it was entirely for me.
What I mean by that is that I am part of the LGBTQ+ community and not simply an ally. I am deeply entrenched in the politics and drama that go on within and outside of the community. The author is not perfect by any means, and was taking some inspiration from her own life, she definitely means well and did not overstep her boundaries as she wrote mostly from the perspective of the parent and not the child transitioning. However, because of that, I did feel that this was a book best read by those who relate to that position most.
I did like the nuance given to the child's gender identity because gender, no matter if you are trans, cis, or in-between, is nuanced. I myself really relating to the notion of not being able to just categorize things as "girl things" and "boy things", of living in an in-between zone, a null zone that not many people know about or understand.
I hope everyone and anyone gives this book a try because it is definitely a step forward in being more understanding and accepting of trans people, of normalizing the trans identity.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia and Transphobia