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A review by thecommonname
By Your Side by Margherita Scialla
4.0
Thank you Margherita Scialla for giving me the opportunity to become one of the lucky people to get a copy of the ARC before release date. I'm really really grateful.
First of all, I'd like to say I am Aromantic and I was so happy a book with an Aro character will come out soon. I desperately need more Aro representation. Also, English isn't my first language so forgive me for any errors in this review. It's going to be kinda long cause this story just grabbed my heart for real.
So, the book is about Emma who just got cheated on by her now ex-boyfriend Albert. But before Albert was even in her life, she always had her best friends with her : Dawson and Noah.
Emma has been with Dawson since forever (let's say) then Noah arrived just like that, blended in and now it's like he was always part of the band. And since then, they were inseparable.
Overall it is a cute story. You can learn a little more about queerplatonic relationships by reading it. I say "little" because every qpr is different so Emma and Noah's story is just an aspect of it. Though I think it needed a little more character development. Let's say Emma's and Noah's personal backstories wasn't enough for me to get immersed completely in the story. But again I kept in mind it's a short so... Yeah.
The topic of heteronormativity and amatonormativy was well put. Not in details either but it's still a necessary topic to be addressed.
The big talk about the qpr YES PLEASE. Really, what I love about Emma and Noah is their straightforwardness. Because communication is the key of every relationship (***romantic or not***) and YES they communicate. A BIG GREEN FLAG. They also know their boundaries. So it's really really refreshing. #healthyrelationship
Another little detail that I liked is the mention of "partner" instead of boyfriend and/or girlfriend. It is very inclusive and I love it so much.
I'm going to put the pro and the cons here, starting from the cons so you'll end up on a good note.
!!! SPOILER ALERT !!! Don't read any further if you don't want to get spoiled. I'll put the rest of my review in spoilers and I hope it'll work, I don't really know how to use Goodreads yet.
Disclaimer : this is how I felt about the situation, you can disagree with me it's perfectly fine.
Ahem, we have Emma then who just found out she got cheated on. And while being hurt, she talked to Noah. He tries to comfort her but then she slipped : “Are you just not interested in dating? Or is it something else? Like… are you aromantic? I’ve just realized I’ve never asked.”
To me it was very insensitive. It rubbed me in the wrong way. Please, if you have any acquaintance that you think is Aro or even Queer and they didn't come out yet : don't do this. She could have asked him more nicely and more subtly. Because now he has to tell her the truth wether he likes/wants it or not. Like he's obligated to. Because they're best friends.
So, they're really close, right ? But in this case, if Noah never mentioned his orientation before, he probably has his reasons. And Emma blatantly asking about it, is making the situation worse cause I don't think Noah's the type to lie to his friends, but although he doesn't want to talk about it, he has to admit it. So it's like she obligated him to come out to her which isn't necessarily needed.
If she just asked him "How's your dating life ? I never saw you with many people before" it would've been okay and let Noah developed whatever his experiences were. But she said : "Like... Are you Aromantic ?" She speculated about his orientation. And it's giving the worse prejudice the LGBTQ+ community ever faced : "you need to act a certain way so we know you're this or that."
Let me put this stereotypical example : if Noah was gay. Then what Emma did was assuming he is, although he didn't come out yet. Emma speculated because of Noah's demeanor (for example) that screamed "gay" and even if he was, I don't think it was appropriate to just ask "but like, are you gay or something because I noticed you always do this or that"
Just like Emma said she never saw Noah being interested in dating. So she immediately assumed he was Aromantic. Now what if it wasn't the case ? What if he just didn't want to talk about it ? So please consider this.
I hope you understand my point of view here. And I'm kinda getting worked up about it because it is never okay to force someone to come out if they don't want to. Even if you are friends with them.
Secondly, the return of energies between Emma and Noah. Let's say their ship dynamic is really unbalanced and it's leaning towards Emma (are we surprised ? No, she's the main character)
I understand Noah is really nice and he cares about Emma and I know he put well his boundaries later in the story. But I just wanted to point that out in the beginning of the story when he tries to comfort her.
Physical affectionate touch is Emma's main love language. But not Noah's. And yes, you can have many love languages but it is not Noah's main. Does Emma know about Noah's love language ? It wasn't really described so I don't really know. And I really hope she knows.
There was an unbalanced dynamic in the beginning because Emma was hurt. Which why I assumed then, that everytime Emma isn't well, she really is inconsiderate and the world needs to revolve around her. That was the feeling I got. And it is normal you want to help your friend feel better when they're down but Emma's making me feel like she got Noah for granted. Like, whatever she does, Noah will always be there, and it's true ! So she doesn't make enough efforts to let him know he's appreciated.
And that's why I said unbalanced dynamic. However, later in the book when they talk about qpr, that discomfort left and their relationship turns into a green flag.
Next, we're now entering the pros of the story and my observations.
Emma said it took her 5 months to feel affection toward Albert. is it possible she's demi-romantic ? But again, maybe it's because Albert was a literal walking red flag. It doesn't necessarily mean something important but I just pointed that out. It would be cool tho.
I've been slandering Emma since the beginning (/lh) but at least, what I like about her is that she's a loyal friend and clear about her boundaries. Which is very very good !
When she defended herself against Albert's cousin and her friends, that was so satisfying.
“Because I’m smoking, you fucking cunts.” get'em girl ✨
First of all, I'd like to say I am Aromantic and I was so happy a book with an Aro character will come out soon. I desperately need more Aro representation. Also, English isn't my first language so forgive me for any errors in this review. It's going to be kinda long cause this story just grabbed my heart for real.
So, the book is about Emma who just got cheated on by her now ex-boyfriend Albert. But before Albert was even in her life, she always had her best friends with her : Dawson and Noah.
Emma has been with Dawson since forever (let's say) then Noah arrived just like that, blended in and now it's like he was always part of the band. And since then, they were inseparable.
Overall it is a cute story. You can learn a little more about queerplatonic relationships by reading it. I say "little" because every qpr is different so Emma and Noah's story is just an aspect of it. Though I think it needed a little more character development. Let's say Emma's and Noah's personal backstories wasn't enough for me to get immersed completely in the story. But again I kept in mind it's a short so... Yeah.
The topic of heteronormativity and amatonormativy was well put. Not in details either but it's still a necessary topic to be addressed.
The big talk about the qpr YES PLEASE. Really, what I love about Emma and Noah is their straightforwardness. Because communication is the key of every relationship (***romantic or not***) and YES they communicate. A BIG GREEN FLAG. They also know their boundaries. So it's really really refreshing. #healthyrelationship
Another little detail that I liked is the mention of "partner" instead of boyfriend and/or girlfriend. It is very inclusive and I love it so much.
I'm going to put the pro and the cons here, starting from the cons so you'll end up on a good note.
!!! SPOILER ALERT !!! Don't read any further if you don't want to get spoiled. I'll put the rest of my review in spoilers and I hope it'll work, I don't really know how to use Goodreads yet.
Spoiler
The cons : Emma's insensitivity at the beginning of the story. Why ? How ?Disclaimer : this is how I felt about the situation, you can disagree with me it's perfectly fine.
Ahem, we have Emma then who just found out she got cheated on. And while being hurt, she talked to Noah. He tries to comfort her but then she slipped : “Are you just not interested in dating? Or is it something else? Like… are you aromantic? I’ve just realized I’ve never asked.”
To me it was very insensitive. It rubbed me in the wrong way. Please, if you have any acquaintance that you think is Aro or even Queer and they didn't come out yet : don't do this. She could have asked him more nicely and more subtly. Because now he has to tell her the truth wether he likes/wants it or not. Like he's obligated to. Because they're best friends.
So, they're really close, right ? But in this case, if Noah never mentioned his orientation before, he probably has his reasons. And Emma blatantly asking about it, is making the situation worse cause I don't think Noah's the type to lie to his friends, but although he doesn't want to talk about it, he has to admit it. So it's like she obligated him to come out to her which isn't necessarily needed.
If she just asked him "How's your dating life ? I never saw you with many people before" it would've been okay and let Noah developed whatever his experiences were. But she said : "Like... Are you Aromantic ?" She speculated about his orientation. And it's giving the worse prejudice the LGBTQ+ community ever faced : "you need to act a certain way so we know you're this or that."
Let me put this stereotypical example : if Noah was gay. Then what Emma did was assuming he is, although he didn't come out yet. Emma speculated because of Noah's demeanor (for example) that screamed "gay" and even if he was, I don't think it was appropriate to just ask "but like, are you gay or something because I noticed you always do this or that"
Just like Emma said she never saw Noah being interested in dating. So she immediately assumed he was Aromantic. Now what if it wasn't the case ? What if he just didn't want to talk about it ? So please consider this.
I hope you understand my point of view here. And I'm kinda getting worked up about it because it is never okay to force someone to come out if they don't want to. Even if you are friends with them.
Secondly, the return of energies between Emma and Noah. Let's say their ship dynamic is really unbalanced and it's leaning towards Emma (are we surprised ? No, she's the main character)
I understand Noah is really nice and he cares about Emma and I know he put well his boundaries later in the story. But I just wanted to point that out in the beginning of the story when he tries to comfort her.
Physical affectionate touch is Emma's main love language. But not Noah's. And yes, you can have many love languages but it is not Noah's main. Does Emma know about Noah's love language ? It wasn't really described so I don't really know. And I really hope she knows.
There was an unbalanced dynamic in the beginning because Emma was hurt. Which why I assumed then, that everytime Emma isn't well, she really is inconsiderate and the world needs to revolve around her. That was the feeling I got. And it is normal you want to help your friend feel better when they're down but Emma's making me feel like she got Noah for granted. Like, whatever she does, Noah will always be there, and it's true ! So she doesn't make enough efforts to let him know he's appreciated.
And that's why I said unbalanced dynamic. However, later in the book when they talk about qpr, that discomfort left and their relationship turns into a green flag.
Next, we're now entering the pros of the story and my observations.
Emma said it took her 5 months to feel affection toward Albert. is it possible she's demi-romantic ? But again, maybe it's because Albert was a literal walking red flag. It doesn't necessarily mean something important but I just pointed that out. It would be cool tho.
I've been slandering Emma since the beginning (/lh) but at least, what I like about her is that she's a loyal friend and clear about her boundaries. Which is very very good !
When she defended herself against Albert's cousin and her friends, that was so satisfying.
“Because I’m smoking, you fucking cunts.” get'em girl ✨