Scan barcode
A review by lordnikon
The Forgetting Moon by Brian Lee Durfee
3.0
A solid, and entertaining debut overall! Great world building, characters, and setting.
It's about 300 pages too long. The pace Judders to a halt often (especially in the middle), and the book suffers from bloat. There is tonnes of extraneous info in this book. Durfee needs to cut the chaff and stick to the main thrust of the story. And he needs to sort out how to insert extra info organically. We shouldn't learn about Stefan's proficiency with a bow....while Nail and Ava are having a moment on the cliffs. That should come in at some point when that's the thrust of what's occurring in that section. It felt scatterbrained to have those two incongruous things in that section.
Also. This business of making each book be 55 chapters? Dude, just no. ESPECIALLY no if they are going to be how long they are here. Your book had about 450-500 pages worth of SOLID SOLID story...you need to cut the extra stuff so the pace doesn't suffer.
Also, put an ending in even a serial book...don't just drop everyone's narratives off in nowheresville...readers need closure before you ask them to come back.
I'm in for book 2. But I'm going to be FAR less forgiving if that one suffers from the same bloat as this one.
It's about 300 pages too long. The pace Judders to a halt often (especially in the middle), and the book suffers from bloat. There is tonnes of extraneous info in this book. Durfee needs to cut the chaff and stick to the main thrust of the story. And he needs to sort out how to insert extra info organically. We shouldn't learn about Stefan's proficiency with a bow....while Nail and Ava are having a moment on the cliffs. That should come in at some point when that's the thrust of what's occurring in that section. It felt scatterbrained to have those two incongruous things in that section.
Also. This business of making each book be 55 chapters? Dude, just no. ESPECIALLY no if they are going to be how long they are here. Your book had about 450-500 pages worth of SOLID SOLID story...you need to cut the extra stuff so the pace doesn't suffer.
Also, put an ending in even a serial book...don't just drop everyone's narratives off in nowheresville...readers need closure before you ask them to come back.
I'm in for book 2. But I'm going to be FAR less forgiving if that one suffers from the same bloat as this one.