A review by lizbtc
How to Find What You're Not Looking for by Veera Hiranandani

4.0

Historical fiction set in 1967.

Ariel Goldberg is in middle school and wow, the changes. Her older sister, Leah, who just graduated high school, has eloped and her parents react by cutting Leah off.

The problem? Leah's fiancé, now husband, is not Jewish. And is Indian.

I remember a teacher in library school saying the difference between middle school and high school books is middle school is about keeping/staying with your family, and high school is about leaving/finding your own family.

With that in mind, of course by the end there is a resolution. And it's Ari whose actions bring about that resolution.

This is about more than what is happening with Leah and Raj. It's also about Ari's family being one of the only Jewish families in town, and what does that mean, exactly? It's about the anti-Semitism Ari faces in school.

It's also about her family being at a crossroads: their family bakery isn't doing well, and they may need to sell and move. Her mother is getting constant headaches. (spoiler, no one dies in this book.) Ari has difficulty in school -- no matter how hard she tries, her writing is messy -- and she has a new teacher who may have a solution, but her parents this it's a matter of "just work hard, don't be lazy." And her "friend because we live in the same apartment building" may actually be a real, best friend if Ari gives the friendship a chance.

I really liked this book, and the mix of Ari's own dilemmas about friends and school against the bigger picture of racism and anti-Semitism, and societal changes of the 1960s. The author shows both that Ari's parents are wrong while still having compassion for them. This is one of those book where I am suddenly shocked to realize that the mother is younger than I am (she had her older daughter at 19, so she is now in her late 30s.)

Maybe the part of this book I had the most trouble with is Leah's age and her marrying right out of high school. Yes, it was different in the 1960s. And it's clear that Leah and Raj are a love match and a couple who are going to last. But -- but -- sorry, part of me really had trouble reconciling that this meant that Leah was married right out of high school. I could sympathize with her mother, and how part of her mother's worry about the marriage was all the dreams for Leah (dancing, college) were now gone.