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missnromanoff 's review for:
I'm Glad My Mom Died
by Jennette McCurdy
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
I had this book in my TBR list almost since the day it was announced. I was never one to watch iCarly nor a lot of those Nickelodeon tv shows that people of my age have usually seen, being more on the Disney Channel side.
However, there is no need to know about the show nor Jennette herself to enjoy this book.
Hers is a telling of raw feelings, a mom-daughter relationship transformed from love into something twisted, toxic. As she writes at some point in the book "You have what a lot of people want", but she doesn't.
And that is a reality. A lot of people wants and have wanted for centuries that idea of leaving a print behind us, of chasing that fame and glamour. A lot of people want to be on stage, either with music or acting, and now with the use of social media and the rise of streamers, influencers and the like, even more.
But not everyone wants that. Nor realises what might lie beneath the shiny surface of the red carpet. And Jennette's story is an example of this.
How an industry so enormous and with such an influence devours young actors and transform their lives, sometimes from one day to another. And if they are lucky, they might have a network of support and they might end up having a name in the industry and enjoying it. Others, the most of them, don't. And Jennette's is an example of the latter.
This book narrates the story of her wanting to please a mentally unstable mother that wants nothing but to live her shattered dreams of fame and acting through her daughter, who is not interested at all in acting nor the world around it.
We are taken into a journey through Jennette's childhood being homeschooled in a lower class family, with her mother being a hoarder and forcing the family to sleep in whatever empty space the trash has left, even allowing her children to sleep in mats on the floor. How she favours Jennette over her other children and how she verbally abuses her husband.
We are shown her comfort in religion as a Mormon, her own doubts about it, and how it is her mother the one that teaches her about how to be thin. Her journey with anorexia and bulimia and her rise to stardom. We can also see the thoughts of a teenager/young adult that has to deal with the sudden rise of Ariana Grande in the industry and how she receives an imparcial treatment if compared to how Jennette was treated.
We see how she deals with other women and she does not hides from her flaws, calling herself possessive and jealous and in several instances we see her using the word b*tch to describe other women. I do not justify it, but you can see in the book how she learnt that from her mom.
Abuse in the entertainment industry is no secret nor has been for decades, with cases such as Judy Garland or Lindsey Lohan. More and more people are rising their voices and this book does not shy away from the scandal that surrounded Nickelodeon, with Dan Schneider being called The Creator.
She does not shy away either about that call with Miranda, the star of the show, whenshe calls about the spin-off they are preparing . But Jennette is not interested. Hers is not a life of glam and shine and she knows that and has decided that acting is not for her.
Her writing is raw and natural and visceral, and you can feel you are there in those audition rooms with her, being scrutinised by the casting directors and feeling the dread of not being chosen for the role. She does not hide the ugly parts of her life nor runs away from describing explicitly the consequences of her alcohol and eating disorder problems.
For her, this book might have been cathartic, and I believe that finally she can and she deserves to live the life she wants. On her own terms.
However, there is no need to know about the show nor Jennette herself to enjoy this book.
Hers is a telling of raw feelings, a mom-daughter relationship transformed from love into something twisted, toxic. As she writes at some point in the book "You have what a lot of people want", but she doesn't.
And that is a reality. A lot of people wants and have wanted for centuries that idea of leaving a print behind us, of chasing that fame and glamour. A lot of people want to be on stage, either with music or acting, and now with the use of social media and the rise of streamers, influencers and the like, even more.
But not everyone wants that. Nor realises what might lie beneath the shiny surface of the red carpet. And Jennette's story is an example of this.
How an industry so enormous and with such an influence devours young actors and transform their lives, sometimes from one day to another. And if they are lucky, they might have a network of support and they might end up having a name in the industry and enjoying it. Others, the most of them, don't. And Jennette's is an example of the latter.
This book narrates the story of her wanting to please a mentally unstable mother that wants nothing but to live her shattered dreams of fame and acting through her daughter, who is not interested at all in acting nor the world around it.
We are taken into a journey through Jennette's childhood being homeschooled in a lower class family, with her mother being a hoarder and forcing the family to sleep in whatever empty space the trash has left, even allowing her children to sleep in mats on the floor. How she favours Jennette over her other children and how she verbally abuses her husband.
We are shown her comfort in religion as a Mormon, her own doubts about it, and how it is her mother the one that teaches her about how to be thin. Her journey with anorexia and bulimia and her rise to stardom. We can also see the thoughts of a teenager/young adult that has to deal with the sudden rise of Ariana Grande in the industry and how she receives an imparcial treatment if compared to how Jennette was treated.
We see how she deals with other women and she does not hides from her flaws, calling herself possessive and jealous and in several instances we see her using the word b*tch to describe other women. I do not justify it, but you can see in the book how she learnt that from her mom.
Abuse in the entertainment industry is no secret nor has been for decades, with cases such as Judy Garland or Lindsey Lohan. More and more people are rising their voices and this book does not shy away from the scandal that surrounded Nickelodeon, with Dan Schneider being called The Creator.
She does not shy away either about that call with Miranda, the star of the show, when
Her writing is raw and natural and visceral, and you can feel you are there in those audition rooms with her, being scrutinised by the casting directors and feeling the dread of not being chosen for the role. She does not hide the ugly parts of her life nor runs away from describing explicitly the consequences of her alcohol and eating disorder problems.
For her, this book might have been cathartic, and I believe that finally she can and she deserves to live the life she wants. On her own terms.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Blood, Death of parent, Alcohol