A review by anzuk
When the Duke Returns by Eloisa James

3.0

I was so curious to see how Isidore and Simeon's story will end up. The previous book gave us a nice peek of how the great explorer came home to fetch his wife. So, of course, my thought was wow a mouth-watering rebel will surely provide the best of entertainment for such a well-mannered lady.

My sincere apologies for letting you know that the story took another twist. And it was not a good one... At least for me it wasn't...

All my dreams of rebels, lion tamers, men that spit in the face of wigs, cravats and hair powder, wild animal sex and maybe a few sparring... they all faded since the first chapters of the book. Well not all... the part with the wigs, cravats and hair powder stayed, but still didn’t make up for the disappointment.

Simeon is such a boring person! BORING BORING BORING!!! He made me want to throw away my damn Kindle in some scenes. And I have to tell you, the whole concept of this poor woman waiting for him for so many years ended up being stupid and not even close to romantic. I respect Eloisa James but WTF?! My feelings may be a bit too harsh, mainly because I had some serious PC problems and I was formatting while reading this. It may not be such a crucial thing for you, but being a graphic designer puts you in some serious shit regarding the amount of programs existing in your system.

Aaanyways, back to our book. At a first glance I thought Simeon was a shy, emotional person. Maybe even melancholic. He is so much more similar to a boy than a man, always obeying his mum, looking down, not fighting for anything. Not to mention that his mum might as well be the most annoying person on this planet. Tsk tsk tsk…

I still can't figure out how Isidore could wait for him for so many years, especially since she didn't have any direct contact with him. And after all that he proves that he doesn't even care and is asking for an annulment. What - the - hell?! So this poor woman ends up old (23 lol exactly my age... makes me feel great about myself) and desperate for some love and affection and she gets the Zen Master of the East. Suicide much?

Read this:
He would center himself in the universe, remember that anger is a force for evil and that the waters of the ages washed against the pebbles of eternity.

Are you serious my dear Simeon? How much time did you spend with Yoda last summer at camp? A bit too much I presume...

The book made up for all this chagrin towards the end. Phenomenal action scenes, a nice twist of events and an amazingly sweet epilogue. Now I ask myself, why wasn’t the story like this since the beginning? It really had potential but everything just flew out the window. Wilson! Fetch my shotgun! We’re going hunting tonight.

Top 5 quotes
#5 Isidore opened her mouth, shut it, opened it again and said: “Pizzle.”
“Right. Well, my pizzle is a pizzalone, in Italian. A big pizzle, Isidore.”


#4 “I have to know that you’re mine, Isidore.”
“I am. According to English law, I am one of your possessions, just like a cow or a privy house.”


#3 A man always has choices. If you tell yourself you have no choice, you lie…you lie in the worst possible manner: because almost always a man who tells himself that he has no choices has already made up his mind to the wrong choice.

#2 If he hadn’t been chasing all over Africa looking for the source of the Blue Nile, we could be utterly bored with each other, like other well-bred English couples.

#1 “There’s been nothing romantic about your marriage.”
“What marriage?”
“Exactly.”