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A review by leahkarge
Special Forces by Aleksandr Voinov, Vashtan, Marquesate
5.0
WARNING: There will be spoilers in the following review.
Synopsis
Special Forces is the three part story of Dan McFadyen and Vadim Petrovich Krasnorada. Soldiers starts the saga of the enemy soldiers, one Scottish SAS and the other Soviet Union Spetsnaz. It begins with the violent sexual assault that is the start of their connection, and tells the story of how that violence and the resulting hate slowly turn into a burning love. Mercenaries, told in two separate parts, is the longest section of the three. It continues the story, beginning with Vadim's captivity by the KGB and the struggles Dan goes through to get him released. Separation, multiple wars, lovers, hatred (towards each other and others), and their own love are just a few things that the two men must face as they try to reconcile themselves to the fact that their lives are no longer so simple as they once were. Veterans is the final portion, which details their lives as civilians. This section, as well, is fraught with depression, struggle to communicate, and hatred, but also love, comfort, and knowing that, no matter what, they really would have each other. It ends with a much deserved happy ending: their civil partnership after twenty-five years together.
Review
I don't usually write reviews anymore; I just don't have the time, don't feel the desire, or the book just didn't inspire anything in me. When I first started Special Forces, I had no intention of writing one. It took me until about halfway through the first part of Mercenaries to realize that I would, in fact, be writing a review for SF. There are three main reasons why:
1. I absolutely love this story. Love it.
2. It inspired several emotions in me as I read--many of them unpleasant.
3. The thing had completely unnatural and all-encompassing control over over me.
The second and third reasons are the main reasons why I decided that I had to write at least something about the book. I wasn't sure if it was going to turn out to be a rant, or a kind of love letter, or something completely different. And, as I type right now, I still don't. I just know that I could not read SF and then leave nothing behind to share of my experience. So, here goes...
The Goodreads description for Special Forces calls it an "epic story." For me, that calls to mind the kinds of epic poems one reads in high school and college where the hero faces all sorts of trials and tribulations before finding their happy ending (think Homer's The Odyssey). Having read the whole of SF, I can say with confidence that this description fits this book. One hundred percent. This novel is filled with all the trials one could imagine and more. I was naive when I started this, not thinking there could possibly be so much suffering, despite having read some reviews on it to prepare myself. I did not prepare myself adequately. If I had, there's a good possibility I actually would not have started SF. Because, while I would have been missing out on an absolutely fantastic story, I would not have suffered the emotional trauma I have over the last month or so.
I cannot even begin to describe the emotional rollercoaster I rode as I read about the lives of Dan and Vadim. For a good long time, I was hopeful. Really hopeful that things were actually going to turn out alright. Silly me. I should have realized by how long the novel was that there was no way they would find complete happiness until the very end. But I deluded myself because I sincerely wanted these two to be happy. It wasn't until Vadim walked away after being released from prison that I let myself understand that there was going to be a lot of trouble ahead. And, boy, was I right. As a result, I was constantly either furious (on the verge of throwing my laptop or Kindle to the floor or wall) or on the verge of tears.
I lost count of how many times I did actually cry during reading, which is astonishing in and of itself. I very rarely cry during a book. Sure, I have a shelf on Goodreads that is for the books that make me cry, but those are usually just ones that make me get teary-eyed, possibly a couple tears escaping down my cheeks. This book? Nothing so small. There were several times where I was crying hard enough that I couldn't see my screen anymore; hard enough that I had to actually wash my face before I could continue. And that, to me, is part of what make this novel a great one. When an author (or authors) can pull such extreme, unusual reactions from me, that's when I know I've stumbled across something that is truly great and noteworthy.
Dan and Vadim are not characters that are easily forgettable. And I don't think I ever will forget them. Whether that's because I eventually reread Special Forces or simply because they made such a strong impact on me this time around, I'm not sure yet. But I know they will never leave me. Because, you see, they are extremely fucked up; and those are the characters that you don't forget. The ones that start out seeming so strong and invincible, but once you get to know them, you realize that they are just as flawed as everyone else. They are broken in ways that some can understand and some can't. That is part of what makes them so beautiful. Speaking only for myself, I can say that I do not want nor do I enjoy "perfect" characters; they are too boring. I want characters where, even if I may not be able to relate to their experiences, I can feel compassion, love, and sympathy for them, while also feeling angry and frustrated with some of the things they do or say. Aleksandr Voinov and Marquesate definitely deliver. They went above and beyond my expectations.
I've seen in some reviews that people ask the question of, Dan or Vadim?
Don't even bother asking me. I won't choose. Actually, it would probably be more accurate to say that I can't choose. I will admit that there are times where I tended to side with one more than the other, and I noticed a pattern of tending to sympathize more with Vadim in certain instances. That's not to say, though, that I didn't do the same for Dan in others. Both of them do so much shit, cause the other so much pain--whether it's deserved or not is up to individual readers to decide. That being said, though, I stand by not choosing. In so many novels or series, it's so easy to say, "Oh, (insert name here) is my favorite of the two. I just love him/her!" Not so here. At least, not for me. Both Dan and Vadim are such complex characters, similar yet completely and utterly different, that it is unfair to compare them and decide on a "winner."
Now, aside from the main characters, I feel there are two things that should be addressed. As a sort of public service announcement I suppose, giving a little heads up to those contemplating reading Special Forces.
1. Sex
2. Violence
Sex
a. The Good - If you like reading male/male sex scenes, which I assume you do if you're thinking of reading this, then you are going to enjoy the hell out of the scenes in SF. They are well-written and go into detail without going overboard. I was able to formulate a mental image that was in concordance with the scene being illustrated before me. Some authors have the tendency to give too few details, leaving it up to my imagination to figure out what exactly is going one, while others give too many details, dragging the scene for too long until I start to get bored with it. I can safely say that I was not bored through any of the sex scenes.
b. The Bad - There are two rape scenes and a couple other of dubious consent. The first rape occurs at the very beginning of Soldiers and is the incident that begins Dan and Vadim's connection. The second happens early in Mercenaries and is perpetrated by Vadim's ex-wife, Katya. (That was actually one of the times that I cried.) I was unprepared for these moments, the second more than the first. The Goodreads description of SF does in fact mention the first rape, so I was expecting that, if not how in detail it was. The second one, though, was one of those instances where I was both crying and furious. My laptop nearly had a very close encounter with my bedroom floor when Katya forced Dan.
c. The Kinds & Amount - There is A LOT of sex. SF is marked as erotica on Goodreads; take that descriptor to heart. There is a shit load of sexy time.
Which brings me to the next points of what "kinds" of sex there is. Obviously, there is male/male sex. (Duh, right?) There's two instances of male/female (that I can recall), one of which is the moment with Katya explained above. Other than that there is: threesomes, foursomes, BDSM, non or dubious consent, and violent. Also, Dan and Vadim (but mostly Dan) accumulate an astonishing number of lovers throughout the novel. Only a couple end up sticking around to the very end, but still. There's a lot.
Violence
a. Sex - As mentioned above, there are some sex scenes that are rather violent. While I didn't mind it, and some of those scenes were my favorites, I know there are others who don't enjoy that kind of stuff. The BDSM scenes with Vadim and Hooch are violent and filled with pain because that's what Hooch needs sometimes. There are, however, scenes with Dan and Vadim that are as well, especially in Soldiers before and when they are just starting to have feelings for each other besides hatred. But, there are also violent sexuality in the other sections.
b. War - Some may be thinking that this category really does not need to be mentioned, but I beg to differ. Despite it being a war epic and the two main characters being soldiers, there were parts that were unexpectedly detailed. I was expecting the descriptions of the wars and battles and injuries, and the authors more than delivered there. SF is not lacking in descriptions there. What was slightly less expected, though, were the very descriptive torture scenes. This, again, shows my naivety upon reading; as a civilian, I know that torture exists. How could I not? But, somehow, it just did not click in my mind when I started that with war often comes torture. So, the first time, when Dan tortures Vadim, was a bit of a shock to the system. Vadim later faces torture again at the hands of the KGB, which was less of a shock than the first but still an eye opener. And then, when Hooch is tortured in Veterans, I wasn't surprised by its presence in the novel, but it was still painful to read. (My poor Hooch...)
One of the things that I love about Special Forces, though, is that attention to detail. The authors obviously did their research and knew what they were writing about. They presented me with a story that was able to make me feel like I was there. Granted, I really would not want to be in most of the situations they were in, but I could still imagine it. SF is not some sloppily thrown together story that has nothing to it. It has historical context and an attention to detail--obvious in the length of each section and the novel as a whole.
I decided to read this because I was trying to convince myself I shouldn't reread one of my series through again, as I'd already done it for the fifth time not long before. (Gotta love Ty and Zane, right? Yes.) So I went searching to find something else to read, and I remembered seeing something on tumblr months back about Special Forces. Upon checking it out, I decided it would be a good idea to read it. It sounded interesting and was long enough that it would entertain me for a long while. Now that I have finished Special Forces, I have mixed feelings about it ending. On one hand, I'm kind of glad that the emotional trauma and resultant mood swings have come to an end. But, on the other hand, I'm upset that it's over. I am beyond glad that it ended happily, because if it didn't, I might have committed a violent act or two, but I almost wish it could just keep on forever, giving me more and more Dan and Vadim. But alas...I may psych myself up some time in the future and find myself rereading it, but until that day comes, I have the memories of the wonderfulness that is Special Forces and I suppose that'll have to be enough. And I thank you the authors from the bottom of my heart for this story. It's touched me in innumerable ways.
Synopsis
Special Forces is the three part story of Dan McFadyen and Vadim Petrovich Krasnorada. Soldiers starts the saga of the enemy soldiers, one Scottish SAS and the other Soviet Union Spetsnaz. It begins with the violent sexual assault that is the start of their connection, and tells the story of how that violence and the resulting hate slowly turn into a burning love. Mercenaries, told in two separate parts, is the longest section of the three. It continues the story, beginning with Vadim's captivity by the KGB and the struggles Dan goes through to get him released. Separation, multiple wars, lovers, hatred (towards each other and others), and their own love are just a few things that the two men must face as they try to reconcile themselves to the fact that their lives are no longer so simple as they once were. Veterans is the final portion, which details their lives as civilians. This section, as well, is fraught with depression, struggle to communicate, and hatred, but also love, comfort, and knowing that, no matter what, they really would have each other. It ends with a much deserved happy ending: their civil partnership after twenty-five years together.
Review
I don't usually write reviews anymore; I just don't have the time, don't feel the desire, or the book just didn't inspire anything in me. When I first started Special Forces, I had no intention of writing one. It took me until about halfway through the first part of Mercenaries to realize that I would, in fact, be writing a review for SF. There are three main reasons why:
1. I absolutely love this story. Love it.
2. It inspired several emotions in me as I read--many of them unpleasant.
3. The thing had completely unnatural and all-encompassing control over over me.
The second and third reasons are the main reasons why I decided that I had to write at least something about the book. I wasn't sure if it was going to turn out to be a rant, or a kind of love letter, or something completely different. And, as I type right now, I still don't. I just know that I could not read SF and then leave nothing behind to share of my experience. So, here goes...
The Goodreads description for Special Forces calls it an "epic story." For me, that calls to mind the kinds of epic poems one reads in high school and college where the hero faces all sorts of trials and tribulations before finding their happy ending (think Homer's The Odyssey). Having read the whole of SF, I can say with confidence that this description fits this book. One hundred percent. This novel is filled with all the trials one could imagine and more. I was naive when I started this, not thinking there could possibly be so much suffering, despite having read some reviews on it to prepare myself. I did not prepare myself adequately. If I had, there's a good possibility I actually would not have started SF. Because, while I would have been missing out on an absolutely fantastic story, I would not have suffered the emotional trauma I have over the last month or so.
I cannot even begin to describe the emotional rollercoaster I rode as I read about the lives of Dan and Vadim. For a good long time, I was hopeful. Really hopeful that things were actually going to turn out alright. Silly me. I should have realized by how long the novel was that there was no way they would find complete happiness until the very end. But I deluded myself because I sincerely wanted these two to be happy. It wasn't until Vadim walked away after being released from prison that I let myself understand that there was going to be a lot of trouble ahead. And, boy, was I right. As a result, I was constantly either furious (on the verge of throwing my laptop or Kindle to the floor or wall) or on the verge of tears.
I lost count of how many times I did actually cry during reading, which is astonishing in and of itself. I very rarely cry during a book. Sure, I have a shelf on Goodreads that is for the books that make me cry, but those are usually just ones that make me get teary-eyed, possibly a couple tears escaping down my cheeks. This book? Nothing so small. There were several times where I was crying hard enough that I couldn't see my screen anymore; hard enough that I had to actually wash my face before I could continue. And that, to me, is part of what make this novel a great one. When an author (or authors) can pull such extreme, unusual reactions from me, that's when I know I've stumbled across something that is truly great and noteworthy.
Dan and Vadim are not characters that are easily forgettable. And I don't think I ever will forget them. Whether that's because I eventually reread Special Forces or simply because they made such a strong impact on me this time around, I'm not sure yet. But I know they will never leave me. Because, you see, they are extremely fucked up; and those are the characters that you don't forget. The ones that start out seeming so strong and invincible, but once you get to know them, you realize that they are just as flawed as everyone else. They are broken in ways that some can understand and some can't. That is part of what makes them so beautiful. Speaking only for myself, I can say that I do not want nor do I enjoy "perfect" characters; they are too boring. I want characters where, even if I may not be able to relate to their experiences, I can feel compassion, love, and sympathy for them, while also feeling angry and frustrated with some of the things they do or say. Aleksandr Voinov and Marquesate definitely deliver. They went above and beyond my expectations.
I've seen in some reviews that people ask the question of, Dan or Vadim?
Don't even bother asking me. I won't choose. Actually, it would probably be more accurate to say that I can't choose. I will admit that there are times where I tended to side with one more than the other, and I noticed a pattern of tending to sympathize more with Vadim in certain instances. That's not to say, though, that I didn't do the same for Dan in others. Both of them do so much shit, cause the other so much pain--whether it's deserved or not is up to individual readers to decide. That being said, though, I stand by not choosing. In so many novels or series, it's so easy to say, "Oh, (insert name here) is my favorite of the two. I just love him/her!" Not so here. At least, not for me. Both Dan and Vadim are such complex characters, similar yet completely and utterly different, that it is unfair to compare them and decide on a "winner."
Now, aside from the main characters, I feel there are two things that should be addressed. As a sort of public service announcement I suppose, giving a little heads up to those contemplating reading Special Forces.
1. Sex
2. Violence
Sex
a. The Good - If you like reading male/male sex scenes, which I assume you do if you're thinking of reading this, then you are going to enjoy the hell out of the scenes in SF. They are well-written and go into detail without going overboard. I was able to formulate a mental image that was in concordance with the scene being illustrated before me. Some authors have the tendency to give too few details, leaving it up to my imagination to figure out what exactly is going one, while others give too many details, dragging the scene for too long until I start to get bored with it. I can safely say that I was not bored through any of the sex scenes.
b. The Bad - There are two rape scenes and a couple other of dubious consent. The first rape occurs at the very beginning of Soldiers and is the incident that begins Dan and Vadim's connection. The second happens early in Mercenaries and is perpetrated by Vadim's ex-wife, Katya. (That was actually one of the times that I cried.) I was unprepared for these moments, the second more than the first. The Goodreads description of SF does in fact mention the first rape, so I was expecting that, if not how in detail it was. The second one, though, was one of those instances where I was both crying and furious. My laptop nearly had a very close encounter with my bedroom floor when Katya forced Dan.
c. The Kinds & Amount - There is A LOT of sex. SF is marked as erotica on Goodreads; take that descriptor to heart. There is a shit load of sexy time.
Which brings me to the next points of what "kinds" of sex there is. Obviously, there is male/male sex. (Duh, right?) There's two instances of male/female (that I can recall), one of which is the moment with Katya explained above. Other than that there is: threesomes, foursomes, BDSM, non or dubious consent, and violent. Also, Dan and Vadim (but mostly Dan) accumulate an astonishing number of lovers throughout the novel. Only a couple end up sticking around to the very end, but still. There's a lot.
Violence
a. Sex - As mentioned above, there are some sex scenes that are rather violent. While I didn't mind it, and some of those scenes were my favorites, I know there are others who don't enjoy that kind of stuff. The BDSM scenes with Vadim and Hooch are violent and filled with pain because that's what Hooch needs sometimes. There are, however, scenes with Dan and Vadim that are as well, especially in Soldiers before and when they are just starting to have feelings for each other besides hatred. But, there are also violent sexuality in the other sections.
b. War - Some may be thinking that this category really does not need to be mentioned, but I beg to differ. Despite it being a war epic and the two main characters being soldiers, there were parts that were unexpectedly detailed. I was expecting the descriptions of the wars and battles and injuries, and the authors more than delivered there. SF is not lacking in descriptions there. What was slightly less expected, though, were the very descriptive torture scenes. This, again, shows my naivety upon reading; as a civilian, I know that torture exists. How could I not? But, somehow, it just did not click in my mind when I started that with war often comes torture. So, the first time, when Dan tortures Vadim, was a bit of a shock to the system. Vadim later faces torture again at the hands of the KGB, which was less of a shock than the first but still an eye opener. And then, when Hooch is tortured in Veterans, I wasn't surprised by its presence in the novel, but it was still painful to read. (My poor Hooch...)
One of the things that I love about Special Forces, though, is that attention to detail. The authors obviously did their research and knew what they were writing about. They presented me with a story that was able to make me feel like I was there. Granted, I really would not want to be in most of the situations they were in, but I could still imagine it. SF is not some sloppily thrown together story that has nothing to it. It has historical context and an attention to detail--obvious in the length of each section and the novel as a whole.
I decided to read this because I was trying to convince myself I shouldn't reread one of my series through again, as I'd already done it for the fifth time not long before. (Gotta love Ty and Zane, right? Yes.) So I went searching to find something else to read, and I remembered seeing something on tumblr months back about Special Forces. Upon checking it out, I decided it would be a good idea to read it. It sounded interesting and was long enough that it would entertain me for a long while. Now that I have finished Special Forces, I have mixed feelings about it ending. On one hand, I'm kind of glad that the emotional trauma and resultant mood swings have come to an end. But, on the other hand, I'm upset that it's over. I am beyond glad that it ended happily, because if it didn't, I might have committed a violent act or two, but I almost wish it could just keep on forever, giving me more and more Dan and Vadim. But alas...I may psych myself up some time in the future and find myself rereading it, but until that day comes, I have the memories of the wonderfulness that is Special Forces and I suppose that'll have to be enough. And I thank you the authors from the bottom of my heart for this story. It's touched me in innumerable ways.