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marshamudpuddle 's review for:
Lost Connections
by Johann Hari
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
Firstly, the subtitle -- "why you are depressed..." (my italics) -- is entirely antithetical to the thesis of the book, which is that depression is primarily a social phenomenon, and requires social solutions; I wonder if the publisher forced it on the book without having read it properly. I also found Hari's style to be occasionally grating -- must every single new idea introduced by a story to illustrate it? I personally preferred it when he was discussing concepts more generally, and started to get bored by the endless anecdotes.
Having said that, I liked this book a lot, and found it very helpful. I have found myself thinking about several of its ideas in the months since I read it. I've particularly noticed how bombarded we are with adverts, specifically, and consumerism, more broadly, since reading his discussion of how these things create a constant underlying feeling of "you don't have what you need to be happy" and "you need to buy this to be happy". Just being able to recognise where that feeling comes from has been helpful in combatting it.
I also found the material on radical empathy to be very interesting. The idea of finding true happiness in the happiness of others, even strangers ("She didn't feel that the bride's happiness took away from her happiness -- she felt it added to it".) Challenging the lie that only you matter, the lie that you've got to 'live for yourself', the lie that 'only you can take responsibility for your own happiness' -- lies we have becomes so accustomed to that we actually see them as inspiring, and put them as platitudes on Instagram. But God, what a burden! What a responsibility! So much easier -- so many more options and opportunities -- to live for others too. (For it is too, not instead of). By dismantling that self-obsessed vision, suddenly there are all these options.
Having said that, I liked this book a lot, and found it very helpful. I have found myself thinking about several of its ideas in the months since I read it. I've particularly noticed how bombarded we are with adverts, specifically, and consumerism, more broadly, since reading his discussion of how these things create a constant underlying feeling of "you don't have what you need to be happy" and "you need to buy this to be happy". Just being able to recognise where that feeling comes from has been helpful in combatting it.
I also found the material on radical empathy to be very interesting. The idea of finding true happiness in the happiness of others, even strangers ("She didn't feel that the bride's happiness took away from her happiness -- she felt it added to it".) Challenging the lie that only you matter, the lie that you've got to 'live for yourself', the lie that 'only you can take responsibility for your own happiness' -- lies we have becomes so accustomed to that we actually see them as inspiring, and put them as platitudes on Instagram. But God, what a burden! What a responsibility! So much easier -- so many more options and opportunities -- to live for others too. (For it is too, not instead of). By dismantling that self-obsessed vision, suddenly there are all these options.