A review by cubaitlubin
I'm Laughing Because I'm Crying by Youngmi Mayer

funny lighthearted reflective

4.5

Because of the years of stifling my dreams, the pain and humiliation a failure made me feel alive. It felt as if I'd been stuck at the starting line for 33 years and now that I was actually running my body burned with the pain of sprinting. But I never regretted it because I could still remember the absolute horror of being stuck for an eternity. An eternity of nothing.

Youngmi Mayer has a way with words - I was familiar with her comedy before reading this memoir, so I wasn't surprised at her candid humor, but I loved the emotional depth and reflective turns of phrase throughout. Themes include questioning identity, navigating familial/professional/romantic relationships, cultural expectations and taboos, fitting in as a kid (racially, socially (punk and emo phases abound), Korean family history, and poking fun and laughter at the center of tragedy. This was full and well rounded and wholly unique. Big recommend!

The young men of my mother's town, including her brother, were all shot to death, and they laughed. The female children and women were all taken away to be raped to death, and they laughed. They were exterminated like cockroaches, and they laughed. Barely over 100 years ago, or people used to live in mud huts with straw roofs and they cared for and loved one another by candlelight. There was no war, there was no death, there was no rape, no one cried, and no one laughed. The 20th century came to Koreans as a violent surprise and we learned how to cry, but then we immediately started to laugh. And we couldn't stop laughing, we couldn't stop laughing while crying.