You need to sign in or sign up before continuing.
Take a photo of a barcode or cover
clevermird 's review for:
Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It
by Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins
challenging
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
This book was one of the ones gifted to me at my bridal shower. As soon as I started reading, I realized that this was an odd choice of wedding present. First, because I am female, and this book is clearly aimed at men. Second, because this is essentially a "how not to cheat on your spouse" manual.
Now, that being said, the book is not bad for what it is or is trying to do. The author is a man, writing to men, but much of what he says can be applied to women as well. It's a fairly quick read, talking about setting boundaries or "hedges" up in your relationships so as to not get into compromising situations in the first place (rather than just counting on having the willpower to resist when you're already there) and how to strengthen your relationship so that you aren't feeling the need to find someone else. I felt like a lot of the advice was pretty "common sense" to me, but I know from looking at other couples that I've interacted with that common sense isn't actually all that common. I also appreciated the author's repeated mentions that the particulars he lists are his personal lines, and that other people might find them way overkill, while at the same time needing boundaries in places he'd never even thought of.
However, what keeps this from getting a higher star rating is the author's writing style. He strives to be frank and open about his struggles, which is admirable and appropriate for the book, but it also came off as... idk. A little bit "all men are secretly perverts"? I think saying the book comes off as misogynistic and misandrist simultaneously is too strong, but the author clearly holds some ideas about gender and gender roles that I can't quite get behind.
Now, that being said, the book is not bad for what it is or is trying to do. The author is a man, writing to men, but much of what he says can be applied to women as well. It's a fairly quick read, talking about setting boundaries or "hedges" up in your relationships so as to not get into compromising situations in the first place (rather than just counting on having the willpower to resist when you're already there) and how to strengthen your relationship so that you aren't feeling the need to find someone else. I felt like a lot of the advice was pretty "common sense" to me, but I know from looking at other couples that I've interacted with that common sense isn't actually all that common. I also appreciated the author's repeated mentions that the particulars he lists are his personal lines, and that other people might find them way overkill, while at the same time needing boundaries in places he'd never even thought of.
However, what keeps this from getting a higher star rating is the author's writing style. He strives to be frank and open about his struggles, which is admirable and appropriate for the book, but it also came off as... idk. A little bit "all men are secretly perverts"? I think saying the book comes off as misogynistic and misandrist simultaneously is too strong, but the author clearly holds some ideas about gender and gender roles that I can't quite get behind.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Infidelity