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A review by doranna
De ijsmakers by Ernest van der Kwast
1.0
So I hated this book. The characters are flat, unrealistic and incredibly stupid. The story is even worse. There is hardly a plot, and the little bit there is is very confusing because of the time jumps.
Seriously, they’re horrible. One moment, a baby boy is born. Two pages further, he’s all grown up. Then he’s seven months and then he’s grown up again.
Most characters are obsessed with sex. There’s no other way to put it. This writer has some serious issues. Especially the second sex scene was truly awful, because it made no sense whatsoever. I will never understand the logic behind that decision, and I suspect there is none. Which brings me to my next point.
None of these characters has something even close to a brain. They all make nothing but terrible decisions and blame each other for it. Except the youngest Giuseppe, as the author didn’t even bother trying to give him a personality. Thinking about it, with the others he definitely tried, but also definitely failed.
The writing is clearly supposed to be high-level but due to many errors in grammar and even more awkwardly formulated sentences feels like a twelve-year-old was trying to write literature. Usually you can read through small mistakes, but here things actually made no sense because the sentences didn’t.
At the beginning of the book, there’s a few pages from Maria Grazia’s perspective. I’m not even sure what happened here, but I can assure you it was written by a man, as I can’t imagine there’s a single woman on the planet who thinks like that.
The book has a habit of making random lists, which serve no purpose for the plot and are usually boring. Like summing up all the tools you can find in their basement. Or listing hotel rooms from all over the world and random facts about them (for four pages!).
In short, a respectable but terrible attempt at literature, with a boring and confusing plot, stupid and unrealistic characters, written completely from a man’s perspective, even when there’s a woman talking. One good thing about the book? Okay, give me a minute (seriously, I spent the whole time writing this review trying to come up with something). I liked the description of making ice cream (though it was repeated constantly, eventually making me hate it as much as the rest). Maybe the poetry, though I felt I was pushed to a certain opinion on poetry I didn’t even like that much.
Seriously, they’re horrible. One moment, a baby boy is born. Two pages further, he’s all grown up. Then he’s seven months and then he’s grown up again.
Most characters are obsessed with sex. There’s no other way to put it. This writer has some serious issues. Especially the second sex scene was truly awful, because it made no sense whatsoever. I will never understand the logic behind that decision, and I suspect there is none. Which brings me to my next point.
None of these characters has something even close to a brain. They all make nothing but terrible decisions and blame each other for it. Except the youngest Giuseppe, as the author didn’t even bother trying to give him a personality. Thinking about it, with the others he definitely tried, but also definitely failed.
The writing is clearly supposed to be high-level but due to many errors in grammar and even more awkwardly formulated sentences feels like a twelve-year-old was trying to write literature. Usually you can read through small mistakes, but here things actually made no sense because the sentences didn’t.
At the beginning of the book, there’s a few pages from Maria Grazia’s perspective. I’m not even sure what happened here, but I can assure you it was written by a man, as I can’t imagine there’s a single woman on the planet who thinks like that.
The book has a habit of making random lists, which serve no purpose for the plot and are usually boring. Like summing up all the tools you can find in their basement. Or listing hotel rooms from all over the world and random facts about them (for four pages!).
In short, a respectable but terrible attempt at literature, with a boring and confusing plot, stupid and unrealistic characters, written completely from a man’s perspective, even when there’s a woman talking. One good thing about the book? Okay, give me a minute (seriously, I spent the whole time writing this review trying to come up with something). I liked the description of making ice cream (though it was repeated constantly, eventually making me hate it as much as the rest). Maybe the poetry, though I felt I was pushed to a certain opinion on poetry I didn’t even like that much.