Scan barcode
A review by librovermo
The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name Is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Love-Aholic by Jennifer Love Hewitt
0.5
That is a great question, Jennifer Love Hewitt. One that I don’t think the world will ever understand.
According to this book, men don’t like to spoon or cuddle, they don’t believe in romance as it’s not in their nature, they don’t want to know how women feel and they will tune us out if we talk about it too much, and men who say they have a type are lying because a man’s type is any woman who’s willing. The most important thing a man should know is how to pick a diamond. Women need to know how to make at least 10 different meals, how to throw a dinner party, when not to be emotional, and when to let the man control a situation.
There was some great sex advice, too. Ladies, did you know that your body is not a 7 Eleven, and you should monitor who goes in and out? Men, did you know that if it’s raining when you go to the… not 7 Eleven…, your dick should wear a raincoat? And remember gals: a good vibrator can keep you “slutless,” you hear? “Don’t be slutty, guys like a girl with class.”
Jamie Kennedy, JLH’s boyfriend at the time, made an appearance to let us know that all men like women with big butts. Not only that, but women should let their men decide how big their butts are. If you have a tiny butt, it looks like it belongs to an “8 year old boy,” and it goes “against the natural grain of bonerism.” Apologies to those of you with flat butts. Jamie Kennedy said it, so it’s true. And if you’re not up to date (or at least up to 2010) on your butt slang, here are some fun words and phrases from this chapter: badonkadonk, rear end, booty, derrière, junko in the trunko, heiny, more cushion for the pushin, more round to ground, bootylicious, and having the kitchen sink as her backside. Throughout the chapter, JLH interjects, acting as though she’s never seen a man with a bigger girl before and Jamie Kennedy is god’s gift to women. “A man who knows other men and is surrounded by a city of beautiful thin women wants you bootylicious! c’mon, tell me this is not the best day ever,” she exclaims. Yikes. There is a point where Kennedy starts making some sense as he says confidence is sexy and women should own who they are and support other women. But after a whole lot of body shaming thin women, it feels like he’s only talking to women with booties. Then he totally loses me again when he says that women only get plastic surgery to compete with other women. At the end of the chapter, she says “See girls, there are good ones out there! and Kennedy says “Just my two cents,” in a condescending voice as if he’s some genius who’s just done us all a huge favor.
JLH provides a couple nuggets of actual wisdom, such as making sure your goals and morals align before you get too far into your relationship, or… uhh… I’m sure there was another good piece of advice in there somewhere. But this book would have been sooo much better if it had just been a memoir. Her narration was good, and the bits of memoir felt like she was a friend bitching about guys and past relationships which was actually cool. At one point, she mentioned that she hated having been called a “serial dater” by the tabloids, and that negative attention in the press hurt her feelings and I think this was a missed opportunity to dive a little deeper and let us get to know more about who she really is. Instead, she told us that she sucks at dating and then gave bad dating advice to millions of women. That was the book.
It’s honestly upsetting that so many reviews I’ve read say this is a cute book for tweens because even though it can be silly, it’s classified as self help. I wouldn’t want my tween or teen or grownass adult child to touch this book with a ten foot pole.
So, counterpoint: People come in a variety of flavors, shapes, and sizes, and they are all okay. Some men love cuddling. Some women hate it. Some non-binary people love it and some hate it. There is no “all men do this” and “all women do that.” Your butt is perfect, or, if you don’t like it, you can change it. If you want to sleep with lots of people, be safe so you don’t catch something, but otherwise go for it. If you want to sleep with just one person, or no one, that’s fine too. Your body can be what you want it to be. A temple, a 7 Eleven, a dumpster, whatever. Don’t let anyone else decide for you what you or your body should be. Okay, love you, bye.
According to this book, men don’t like to spoon or cuddle, they don’t believe in romance as it’s not in their nature, they don’t want to know how women feel and they will tune us out if we talk about it too much, and men who say they have a type are lying because a man’s type is any woman who’s willing. The most important thing a man should know is how to pick a diamond. Women need to know how to make at least 10 different meals, how to throw a dinner party, when not to be emotional, and when to let the man control a situation.
There was some great sex advice, too. Ladies, did you know that your body is not a 7 Eleven, and you should monitor who goes in and out? Men, did you know that if it’s raining when you go to the… not 7 Eleven…, your dick should wear a raincoat? And remember gals: a good vibrator can keep you “slutless,” you hear? “Don’t be slutty, guys like a girl with class.”
Jamie Kennedy, JLH’s boyfriend at the time, made an appearance to let us know that all men like women with big butts. Not only that, but women should let their men decide how big their butts are. If you have a tiny butt, it looks like it belongs to an “8 year old boy,” and it goes “against the natural grain of bonerism.” Apologies to those of you with flat butts. Jamie Kennedy said it, so it’s true. And if you’re not up to date (or at least up to 2010) on your butt slang, here are some fun words and phrases from this chapter: badonkadonk, rear end, booty, derrière, junko in the trunko, heiny, more cushion for the pushin, more round to ground, bootylicious, and having the kitchen sink as her backside. Throughout the chapter, JLH interjects, acting as though she’s never seen a man with a bigger girl before and Jamie Kennedy is god’s gift to women. “A man who knows other men and is surrounded by a city of beautiful thin women wants you bootylicious! c’mon, tell me this is not the best day ever,” she exclaims. Yikes. There is a point where Kennedy starts making some sense as he says confidence is sexy and women should own who they are and support other women. But after a whole lot of body shaming thin women, it feels like he’s only talking to women with booties. Then he totally loses me again when he says that women only get plastic surgery to compete with other women. At the end of the chapter, she says “See girls, there are good ones out there! and Kennedy says “Just my two cents,” in a condescending voice as if he’s some genius who’s just done us all a huge favor.
JLH provides a couple nuggets of actual wisdom, such as making sure your goals and morals align before you get too far into your relationship, or… uhh… I’m sure there was another good piece of advice in there somewhere. But this book would have been sooo much better if it had just been a memoir. Her narration was good, and the bits of memoir felt like she was a friend bitching about guys and past relationships which was actually cool. At one point, she mentioned that she hated having been called a “serial dater” by the tabloids, and that negative attention in the press hurt her feelings and I think this was a missed opportunity to dive a little deeper and let us get to know more about who she really is. Instead, she told us that she sucks at dating and then gave bad dating advice to millions of women. That was the book.
It’s honestly upsetting that so many reviews I’ve read say this is a cute book for tweens because even though it can be silly, it’s classified as self help. I wouldn’t want my tween or teen or grownass adult child to touch this book with a ten foot pole.
So, counterpoint: People come in a variety of flavors, shapes, and sizes, and they are all okay. Some men love cuddling. Some women hate it. Some non-binary people love it and some hate it. There is no “all men do this” and “all women do that.” Your butt is perfect, or, if you don’t like it, you can change it. If you want to sleep with lots of people, be safe so you don’t catch something, but otherwise go for it. If you want to sleep with just one person, or no one, that’s fine too. Your body can be what you want it to be. A temple, a 7 Eleven, a dumpster, whatever. Don’t let anyone else decide for you what you or your body should be. Okay, love you, bye.