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A review by actualconman
The Isle of the Lost by Melissa de la Cruz
2.0
Connor, when I said to actually read a book for once after Pet Sematary, this wasn't what I meant.
My love for Descendants has its own Terms and Conditions attached to it, mainly because no piece of media in this series that I've consumed has ever been strictly good. Not the movies, not the webseries, and now not the books either. So why do I enjoy it so much? Because while the stories being told in this setting may not be that great, the setting they're being told in has the potential to be so good that even just tiny steps towards its full potential are amazing. And compared to the movies, this book definitely is a massive leap forward in terms of actually utilizing what it's got. Sadly, if the movies were at one tenth of the setting's full power, this is a mere two tenths. Or one fifth. You get the gist.
This definitely suffers a little from being a prequel to the first movie. The VKs start off as strangers/enemies to each other at the start bar Mal and Jay, which immediately sets the precedent that this book is going to explain how they all become friends by the beginning of Descendants 1. The four mains are part of one of this book's strengths: whereas the movies are both very light on characterization and very eager to give Mal more to do even if the other character's screentime suffers as a result (especially in D2 and D3), not only is each of the characters much more fleshed out with distinct personalities but each of them actually get an equal amount of time devoted to them. It's not an intense character study or anything, they're still kind of archetypes, but compared to the movies they may as well be a quartet of Charles Foster Kanes.
However, once we've gotten to know these characters better, the job of getting them to like each other is... Weak, to say the least. For some reason this book focuses much more on the relationships between the VKs and their parents than with each other, an admirable goal if it weren't for the relationships the book needed to end with. Cruella only actually shows up in this book for a page and a half, and yet his whole character arc revolves around his relationship with her. It all comes to a climax when the book reaches its most agonizing part, the Forbidden Fortress, where each of the characters have to complete some challenge that is tangentially related to and subsequently helps each character gets over their respective mommy or daddy issues. You figure out the trend by the first challenge and after that it just feels like they're ticking off a checklist of things to address that we didn't even really want to begin with. In the end the VKs hatred for their parents end up being what unites them, which... Fine enough, I guess. But it doesn't really feel earned.
Speaking of characters, Ben's have absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the plot. He dreams about Mal and Mal dreams about him, which is already something that you'd think would have cropped up in the movie's events, but besides that his story is completely seperate from what the VKs are doing. Which it kinda has to be, they don't meet or even be on the same continent until the movie. The politics in these chapters are almost laughably simple, but it somehow works as a jokey way of applying real-world politics to this Disney Brother Brawl universe. Ben's so horribly capitlaist the mere idea of paying his workers on anything other than gratitude and songs is baffling. The last chapter with Ben does set up why he's so sympathetic towards the people on the Isle of the Lost at the beginning of D1, but even if I did enjoy these chapters sometimes they can't help but feel unncessary.
In the end, even though the jokey politics was fun, it's only because it's a tasting of what I want from this setting. I wish Disney let someone take this world seriously, write it in a way that makes sense, because I really feel like you could do some clever things that don't even alienate the kiddlywinks mostly reading your stuff. Why is Auradon just letting an entire school for evil run and breed even more villains when the posters Mal defaces indicate they do at least have some presence on the Isle? Why not have an Auradon government run school in the Isle that tries (and probably fails because nobody really gives a shit) in an attempt to teach VKs good and make them forget their evil history, while more dedicated villains teach VKs on the down-low? Also, why is Mal spray painting slogans everywhere? Everybody's evil and nobody challenges Maleficent, there's nobody to rebel against. Why not have some kind of armed guard presence on the Isle? It'd actually give Mal a reason to be running around being evil, since it'd have a target, not to mention just make daily goings-on a lot more interesting.
Anyway, I guess that sums up my thoughts. Lot of wasted potential, but it probably wasn't even the author's fault. I love extended universe material but this is probably what happens when you hinge said universe on a megacorporation's cheap, squeaky-clean musicals. I'll just sit back and be happy they let Melissa write Mal getting fucking krunked on shots at a party.
My love for Descendants has its own Terms and Conditions attached to it, mainly because no piece of media in this series that I've consumed has ever been strictly good. Not the movies, not the webseries, and now not the books either. So why do I enjoy it so much? Because while the stories being told in this setting may not be that great, the setting they're being told in has the potential to be so good that even just tiny steps towards its full potential are amazing. And compared to the movies, this book definitely is a massive leap forward in terms of actually utilizing what it's got. Sadly, if the movies were at one tenth of the setting's full power, this is a mere two tenths. Or one fifth. You get the gist.
This definitely suffers a little from being a prequel to the first movie. The VKs start off as strangers/enemies to each other at the start bar Mal and Jay, which immediately sets the precedent that this book is going to explain how they all become friends by the beginning of Descendants 1. The four mains are part of one of this book's strengths: whereas the movies are both very light on characterization and very eager to give Mal more to do even if the other character's screentime suffers as a result (especially in D2 and D3), not only is each of the characters much more fleshed out with distinct personalities but each of them actually get an equal amount of time devoted to them. It's not an intense character study or anything, they're still kind of archetypes, but compared to the movies they may as well be a quartet of Charles Foster Kanes.
However, once we've gotten to know these characters better, the job of getting them to like each other is... Weak, to say the least. For some reason this book focuses much more on the relationships between the VKs and their parents than with each other, an admirable goal if it weren't for the relationships the book needed to end with. Cruella only actually shows up in this book for a page and a half, and yet his whole character arc revolves around his relationship with her. It all comes to a climax when the book reaches its most agonizing part, the Forbidden Fortress, where each of the characters have to complete some challenge that is tangentially related to and subsequently helps each character gets over their respective mommy or daddy issues. You figure out the trend by the first challenge and after that it just feels like they're ticking off a checklist of things to address that we didn't even really want to begin with. In the end the VKs hatred for their parents end up being what unites them, which... Fine enough, I guess. But it doesn't really feel earned.
Speaking of characters, Ben's have absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the plot. He dreams about Mal and Mal dreams about him, which is already something that you'd think would have cropped up in the movie's events, but besides that his story is completely seperate from what the VKs are doing. Which it kinda has to be, they don't meet or even be on the same continent until the movie. The politics in these chapters are almost laughably simple, but it somehow works as a jokey way of applying real-world politics to this Disney Brother Brawl universe. Ben's so horribly capitlaist the mere idea of paying his workers on anything other than gratitude and songs is baffling. The last chapter with Ben does set up why he's so sympathetic towards the people on the Isle of the Lost at the beginning of D1, but even if I did enjoy these chapters sometimes they can't help but feel unncessary.
In the end, even though the jokey politics was fun, it's only because it's a tasting of what I want from this setting. I wish Disney let someone take this world seriously, write it in a way that makes sense, because I really feel like you could do some clever things that don't even alienate the kiddlywinks mostly reading your stuff. Why is Auradon just letting an entire school for evil run and breed even more villains when the posters Mal defaces indicate they do at least have some presence on the Isle? Why not have an Auradon government run school in the Isle that tries (and probably fails because nobody really gives a shit) in an attempt to teach VKs good and make them forget their evil history, while more dedicated villains teach VKs on the down-low? Also, why is Mal spray painting slogans everywhere? Everybody's evil and nobody challenges Maleficent, there's nobody to rebel against. Why not have some kind of armed guard presence on the Isle? It'd actually give Mal a reason to be running around being evil, since it'd have a target, not to mention just make daily goings-on a lot more interesting.
Anyway, I guess that sums up my thoughts. Lot of wasted potential, but it probably wasn't even the author's fault. I love extended universe material but this is probably what happens when you hinge said universe on a megacorporation's cheap, squeaky-clean musicals. I'll just sit back and be happy they let Melissa write Mal getting fucking krunked on shots at a party.