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A review by beeping_librarian
She's Not the Man I Married: My Life with a Transgender Husband by Helen Boyd
4.0
Things change so quickly. This book used terms I wasn't familiar with or comfortable with, and concepts (such as gender roles or fashion) clearly from a few generations before mine. It was interesting to see how people felt about gender and sexuality, or what things were taken for granted, years ago, as well as what things haven't changed at all (for better or for worse). Plenty of Helen's points were things I'd felt but never heard anyone else express aloud before. It was a very strange experience, to alternate between feeling seen and feeling like I was looking into an alien world.
The chapters tended to meander quite a bit; where you started or expected to go was not usually where you ended up, and I do think the book could have used some editing to better organize it or remove redundant sections/sentences - but at the same time, it felt more genuine as one person's not-necessarily-organized thoughts over a wide range of personal experiences and topics.
The way Helen spoke about Betty was upsetting, at times. Her words could seem very raw and selfish - and therefore very human. Other times, their shared love seemed too bright to look at. I felt like I was listening to an intimate story I wasn't supposed to be hearing.
Is this book representative of everyone's experiences as a trans person or the partner of a trans person? Of course not. And maybe Helen could have done with a few less sweeping statements. But as a record of what she's currently struggling with and mulling over, it's very honest.
The chapters tended to meander quite a bit; where you started or expected to go was not usually where you ended up, and I do think the book could have used some editing to better organize it or remove redundant sections/sentences - but at the same time, it felt more genuine as one person's not-necessarily-organized thoughts over a wide range of personal experiences and topics.
The way Helen spoke about Betty was upsetting, at times. Her words could seem very raw and selfish - and therefore very human. Other times, their shared love seemed too bright to look at. I felt like I was listening to an intimate story I wasn't supposed to be hearing.
Is this book representative of everyone's experiences as a trans person or the partner of a trans person? Of course not. And maybe Helen could have done with a few less sweeping statements. But as a record of what she's currently struggling with and mulling over, it's very honest.