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A review by thebookgem
My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
5.0
I truly don’t know how to start writing a review for this book. ‘My Dark Vanessa’ follows the life of Vanessa who was a troubled and lonely 15 year old girl, she was singled out by her 42 year old English teacher who groomed her and manipulated her into being emotionally entangled with him. Later on their relationship turns physical, sexual and abusive. Going into this I knew this was going to be a dark book but I did not realize how hard this was actually going to be. It was really hard to see how torturous it was for Vanessa to navigate the whole thing alone JUST at 15, how none of the adults in her life helped her, and how everyone including her parents turned a blind eye to what was happening.
For me it was even harder to watch Vanessa navigating her adult life, how the trauma so deeply affected her that it was ALL she knew, that she did not know who she was without it. Even when she was 30 she was still that traumatized 15 years old. How even when strane tries to break up with her she still kept going back because she did not know anything else. How when she did not get the same attention from strane she tried to find that with someone new. How she always looked for validation from someone else, how it all so deeply affected her. This was a very hard read like every line made me question everything; every time something happened I would be like ‘oh, it can not get any worse’ and it somehow continued to get worse. I highly recommend reading this book to everyone however please make sure you are in a stable mental space before reading this.
For me it was even harder to watch Vanessa navigating her adult life, how the trauma so deeply affected her that it was ALL she knew, that she did not know who she was without it. Even when she was 30 she was still that traumatized 15 years old. How even when strane tries to break up with her she still kept going back because she did not know anything else. How when she did not get the same attention from strane she tried to find that with someone new. How she always looked for validation from someone else, how it all so deeply affected her. This was a very hard read like every line made me question everything; every time something happened I would be like ‘oh, it can not get any worse’ and it somehow continued to get worse. I highly recommend reading this book to everyone however please make sure you are in a stable mental space before reading this.