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A review by girlnextshore
We Were Never Here by Andrea Bartz
1.0
Feels like Thelma and Louise meets Single White Female with a millennial twist. Such a promising premise with badly executed prose and cringe-worthy metaphors.
"Adrienne Oderdonk? It's going to be hard for me to say 'Badonkadonk'"
"My heart beat faster and faster as I read, badum badum badum, until it seemed to be convulsing like a person in the final throes of suffocation."
"Blood, so much blood, surging on the floor, more than a single skull should hold, like his head was a jug of sloshing wine."
I was quick to read this, but it was slightly excruciating. It's like listening to someone who takes forever to get to the point, peppering the story with lots of red herrings and jokey bits, and when they're done you're left thinking what was even the point?
"Adrienne Oderdonk? It's going to be hard for me to say 'Badonkadonk'"
"My heart beat faster and faster as I read, badum badum badum, until it seemed to be convulsing like a person in the final throes of suffocation."
"Blood, so much blood, surging on the floor, more than a single skull should hold, like his head was a jug of sloshing wine."
I was quick to read this, but it was slightly excruciating. It's like listening to someone who takes forever to get to the point, peppering the story with lots of red herrings and jokey bits, and when they're done you're left thinking what was even the point?