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A review by rat_fairy
How to Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual by Rebecca Burgess
4.0
i really liked this. it was pretty relatable to me (im ace and autistic just like the author lol) and im really glad to have generally grown up in a time when being ace is at least a little more widely understood than back when this book is set.
this may be nitpicky of me, but it annoys me when the perception of aromanticism as being essentially “someone who has zero interest in relationships doesn’t feel any attraction and will never ever want to be in a relationship” (for context, im aroace) is spread, and this book did that a few times. being aro is a lot more nuanced than that. in my case, i enjoy reading romance and am chill with relationships because i enjoy the companionship and it’s fun.
i just wish that being aromantic got the same nuanced treatment as when people talk about asexuality (such as the emphasis on the fact that asexuality is a spectrum and asexuals can still have sex). i wish that the author had not decided to try and explain aromaticism too, as they are not aro and i just feel like it would have been better if they had stuck with their own identities.
otherwise extremely good book!! i just have a lot of thoughts on the lack of nuance when people talk about aromanticism in general.
this may be nitpicky of me, but it annoys me when the perception of aromanticism as being essentially “someone who has zero interest in relationships doesn’t feel any attraction and will never ever want to be in a relationship” (for context, im aroace) is spread, and this book did that a few times. being aro is a lot more nuanced than that. in my case, i enjoy reading romance and am chill with relationships because i enjoy the companionship and it’s fun.
i just wish that being aromantic got the same nuanced treatment as when people talk about asexuality (such as the emphasis on the fact that asexuality is a spectrum and asexuals can still have sex). i wish that the author had not decided to try and explain aromaticism too, as they are not aro and i just feel like it would have been better if they had stuck with their own identities.
otherwise extremely good book!! i just have a lot of thoughts on the lack of nuance when people talk about aromanticism in general.