A review by thehommeboii
Johnny Would You Love Me If My Dick Were Bigger by Brontez Purnell

funny lighthearted reflective fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Beneath the veneer of "shamelessness" and risky sexual behaviours Purnell writes about is an endearing vulnerability any gay man who's ever felt unattractive, unworthy, and less than can relate to. There is ownership of the "bad" decisions made, often out of convenience, practicality, or inability to care less. Gay relationships are often toxic and Johnny Would You Love Me is a fine collection of all the steps (and missteps) we take in the search for meaningful connection. Read it.

• And what was I, chopped liver? But wait, I was chopped liver. We met online and his pic was of him naked with his bare ass up in the air; and I'm certain that if there really is a hell, all us gay boys are going for how carelessly we treat each other.
• I'd rather hate myself than fuck in the morning, but to make him happy I give in and bend over. Normally I just shut up and internalize my bottom role, but I couldn't move past the rather pessimistic thought/fact that getting fucked in the ass when you're not feeling it is so demeaning.
• I clanked my glass and made a toast to my beau's dick and said something about it being his only redeeming quality as a human being and they all stopped inviting me to their parties after that.
• He didn't tip, and he gave me his number. "Call me," he said, "I got a big dick." I took his word for it and threw his number in the trash. Too exhausted. I'd already known enough big dicks.
• I gave my complicity to this bullshit because at the time it was the best I thought I could do and because he had a big dick. I had given his thang too much power and now it had power over me.

Update 10/13/2024: Previously rated 4.25 stars; downgraded to 4.0 stars.