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serenity_reads 's review for:
A Daddy for the Chubby Omega
by Anna Wineheart, Anna Wineheart
DID NOT FINISH: 5%
The idea for the story was great; the execution was not.
I tried, but I couldn't get past chapter 3 because the story was just so.... cringy. I HATE using that word for anything. However, it's honest. I've never before cringed while reading a story until now. And I've never wanted to rewrite a story so badly in my life!
My major issue would be the prose. It's written in a way that falls flat, too much telling, not enough showing. The intro chapter was decent, but it went downhill after that. There's little description of the setting, or anything really.
I can forgive all of that though. What I couldn't get past was the unbelievable characters. I found the character's thoughts and actions just... lacking in depth and strange. I didn't find them believable. The dialogue is DULL. Their thoughts are DULL. When a professor gets his pants pulled down in the middle of the hallway by accident and a college student's face in his crotch, you'd think his immediate reaction would be embarrassment, right? Nope. Otto just matter-of-factly stated that the omega needed a moment "hopefully before anyone else entered the hallway". He didn't try to help him up immediately, or try to pull up his pants. He just stood there while he was put in a horribly embarrassing situation that could have gotten him fired.
I once had a classmate that got pantsed in front of the whole class. His immediate reaction was to hunch down and pull them up. To feel flustered, hot, embarrassed. Poor guy ran out of the room. The ML didn't react anywhere near that, and there were other moments before that which were strange too.
I don't think I'll be reading anything else this author writes. It's a shame because the premise is interesting.
I tried, but I couldn't get past chapter 3 because the story was just so.... cringy. I HATE using that word for anything. However, it's honest. I've never before cringed while reading a story until now. And I've never wanted to rewrite a story so badly in my life!
My major issue would be the prose. It's written in a way that falls flat, too much telling, not enough showing. The intro chapter was decent, but it went downhill after that. There's little description of the setting, or anything really.
I can forgive all of that though. What I couldn't get past was the unbelievable characters. I found the character's thoughts and actions just... lacking in depth and strange. I didn't find them believable. The dialogue is DULL. Their thoughts are DULL. When a professor gets his pants pulled down in the middle of the hallway by accident and a college student's face in his crotch, you'd think his immediate reaction would be embarrassment, right? Nope. Otto just matter-of-factly stated that the omega needed a moment "hopefully before anyone else entered the hallway". He didn't try to help him up immediately, or try to pull up his pants. He just stood there while he was put in a horribly embarrassing situation that could have gotten him fired.
I once had a classmate that got pantsed in front of the whole class. His immediate reaction was to hunch down and pull them up. To feel flustered, hot, embarrassed. Poor guy ran out of the room. The ML didn't react anywhere near that, and there were other moments before that which were strange too.
I don't think I'll be reading anything else this author writes. It's a shame because the premise is interesting.