A review by dxtrjames
More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera

5.0

"If the blind can find joy in music, and the deaf can discover it with colors, I will do my best to always find the sun in the darkness because my life isn't one sad ending - it's a series of endless happy beginnings."

This is one hell of an emotional ride.

The book, despite the title, is a dark, distressing, and depressing novel. And I can't believe myself that I took this long to read it.

More Happy Than Not deals with homophobia, depression, mental health, and suicide among other things. It is written with so much pathos and poignancy, which made it all the more sad and bleak.

It is a story of science vs. nature, where the main character, Aaron, struggles to come to terms with who he is,
Spoiler mainly because he thought that him being gay was what drove his father into taking his own life, and drove himself into almost committing suicide,
that he wanted to forget. And he did, with the help of Leteo, an institute that helps their patient forget a tragic event in their past. He was happy living his pretend life until he met the person that leads to him remembering.

More Happy Than Not is a story about how we can't always live the life we want to live. It is a story of self-reflection; of how we're all like Aaron. How we all want to forget the bad and tragic memories from our past; how we all have insecurities we wish to change; and how we all want to start our life all over again. It is a book of second chances. A second chance at life and a chance to not fuck it up again. But all the bleakness aside, it is also a book about friendship, family, love, and self-acceptance. It taught me to always find happiness even in all the unhappiness that surrounds me. But most importantly, it is a book that tells us to always remember our past, all of it, for it is what made us us, and no matter how hard we try, we cannot really forget and change who we are.

Adam Silvera wrote an unrelentingly and painfully honest story that will leave you bawling your eyes out but, at the same time, will fill your hearts with hope and love. It was hauntingly beautiful.

This made me more happy than not.