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A review by wulfwyn
Hush Little Baby by Suzanne Redfearn
4.0
I listened to the audiobook. Nola Zandry did an awesome job reading this book.
Domestic violence is a difficult topic for me. Those who know me, know I lived it. Listening to this was difficult. I can’t count the number of times I was taken back to that time while listening to it. Even now, writing this, I want to throw up, cry, and my breathing is heavy. That is how realistic this was written. That I listened all the way says a lot about the story. The author captured the emotions of domestic violence. The narrator gave it life with her performance.
There were parts that I felt were added for dramatic effect. I’m not someone who expects complete reality in a fiction book so it didn’t bother me. I mention it because I know some readers want the story to reflect real life. The abuse was enough reality for me. I was good with things being too easy on Jillian at certain points in the book. I know the struggle. It rarely wraps up quickly or easily. I enjoyed the dramatic parts. I do wish the author did a better wrap up with the people who helped Jillian and the children.
*A personal message about domestic violence. The question I was asked was why did you stay. There is no single answer to that. The answer varies from survivor to survivor as well as from those who didn’t make it. The one thing I think the answers have in common is that they are layered. For me, I was afraid to go and afraid to stay. The victim always knows the danger they are in. (I am trying to be gender neutral because the victim can be either gender just as the perpetrator can be either gender.) Please trust them to know how the abuser will react. For me, I knew staying would mean I would be hurt. I also knew leaving would harm my children. I left and, after tearing up the restraining order, he put a gun with a bullet in it in my child’s face and pulled the trigger. He added a bullet for each child then fully loaded the gun for me. (My children, 9 months old, 3 years old and 10 years old, survived but have memories.). He played a game of Russian roulette with them because he knew I would never risk it again. I stayed until they were grown. I live far from him but the scars remain. I startle when someone comes up behind me, I throw up with certain smells, I cry when my name is said in a certain way and the click of a gun destroys me. But we survived with help along the way. If you know someone who is in this situation or someone who has left it, please don’t ask, why did you stay? It’s a judgment. If you care, offer to keep a bug out bag in your house for them, offer to help them get to a shelter, offer to help pick up the kids from school, invite them over to enjoy a safe place to play, or just be there to listen. Call the domestic violence hotline to get professional advice on how to help but please don’t judge them. You may think they should just leave, (which is the most dangerous time), or that if it were you, you would do x,y,z. Unless you have been in that situation, you really don’t know. Final point, abuse comes in many forms. Words do damage that lasts an unbelievable length of time. Without intervention, all forms of abuse will escalate. There may be quiet times or good times but it will happen again and it will get worse with time. If you are in the situation, there are good people who can help you. You can get out. You are strong enough. Call a shelter, the hotline or a counseling center. You are worth it.
Domestic violence is a difficult topic for me. Those who know me, know I lived it. Listening to this was difficult. I can’t count the number of times I was taken back to that time while listening to it. Even now, writing this, I want to throw up, cry, and my breathing is heavy. That is how realistic this was written. That I listened all the way says a lot about the story. The author captured the emotions of domestic violence. The narrator gave it life with her performance.
There were parts that I felt were added for dramatic effect. I’m not someone who expects complete reality in a fiction book so it didn’t bother me. I mention it because I know some readers want the story to reflect real life. The abuse was enough reality for me. I was good with things being too easy on Jillian at certain points in the book. I know the struggle. It rarely wraps up quickly or easily. I enjoyed the dramatic parts. I do wish the author did a better wrap up with the people who helped Jillian and the children.
*A personal message about domestic violence. The question I was asked was why did you stay. There is no single answer to that. The answer varies from survivor to survivor as well as from those who didn’t make it. The one thing I think the answers have in common is that they are layered. For me, I was afraid to go and afraid to stay. The victim always knows the danger they are in. (I am trying to be gender neutral because the victim can be either gender just as the perpetrator can be either gender.) Please trust them to know how the abuser will react. For me, I knew staying would mean I would be hurt. I also knew leaving would harm my children. I left and, after tearing up the restraining order, he put a gun with a bullet in it in my child’s face and pulled the trigger. He added a bullet for each child then fully loaded the gun for me. (My children, 9 months old, 3 years old and 10 years old, survived but have memories.). He played a game of Russian roulette with them because he knew I would never risk it again. I stayed until they were grown. I live far from him but the scars remain. I startle when someone comes up behind me, I throw up with certain smells, I cry when my name is said in a certain way and the click of a gun destroys me. But we survived with help along the way. If you know someone who is in this situation or someone who has left it, please don’t ask, why did you stay? It’s a judgment. If you care, offer to keep a bug out bag in your house for them, offer to help them get to a shelter, offer to help pick up the kids from school, invite them over to enjoy a safe place to play, or just be there to listen. Call the domestic violence hotline to get professional advice on how to help but please don’t judge them. You may think they should just leave, (which is the most dangerous time), or that if it were you, you would do x,y,z. Unless you have been in that situation, you really don’t know. Final point, abuse comes in many forms. Words do damage that lasts an unbelievable length of time. Without intervention, all forms of abuse will escalate. There may be quiet times or good times but it will happen again and it will get worse with time. If you are in the situation, there are good people who can help you. You can get out. You are strong enough. Call a shelter, the hotline or a counseling center. You are worth it.