A review by harinutz
Lukas by Carian Cole

1.0

I'm not even done listening to this trash yet and it's already a zero star...

The heroine is 36, just got cheated on by her high school loser husband and is now insecure...

What else is new... these authors have a giant hard-on for writing heroines who are not confident... that's the only personality trait they can write other than VIRGIN...

She meets a 24-year-old tattoo artist who pursues her, but instead of just fcking him and having all the orgasms she wants, because she's been trapped in a sexless marriage for years with a cheater, she holds back because Lukas is "tOo yOuNg..."

*rolls eyes*

First, we're gonna ignore (for now) that this woman stayed in this loveless sexless marriage for years even though she wasn't getting pleased by her husband on a regular basis, sounds like hell to me, so i dont know why she volunteered to stay in that situation... and let's move on to this burning question I have.

Quick question for authors: Would you write a 36-year-old man having a dilemma over being with a 24-year-old woman...?

Cause I've read A LOT of romance books and most of the heroes on there who are over 30, are not dating 30-year-old heroines... It's almost always an age gap situation, which is fine, but when it's reversed, then it's this whole thing that I need to care about, for some reason?

Lukas is an ADULT and you are an ADULT, just enjoy your time with him and move on with your life!

If he wants to pursue you to be in an intimate, exclusive relationship, then watch him prove himself.

But no, for some reason, everyone is acting like a 36-year-old woman with children is the oldest fossil they have ever encountered. The heroine herself also thinks she is "old."

What bizarro world do we live in where these authors are writing 40-year-old male characters and pairing them off with barely legal heroines and with 20-year-old heroines, and no one bats an eye?

But the second these authors write about a heroine older than 25, suddenly, it's a revelation.The Second Coming!

36 is not old. Not even close.

If you wanted me to take your plot seriously, and your goal was to instill gravity into the plot with the age thing, why not grace our narrative with a 45-year-old heroine? Then, and only then, would the concept of her being "older" hold water.

At 36, she's not even flirting with middle age. Frankly, I'm bewildered.

So yes, this is a zero star book and im only 50% into the audiobook, and that rating won't change.

(Lol, im 24 by the way. And i cant wait to be 36 tbh... sounds like a nice age to be, i just won't ever be doing the kids part or the sexless marriage part. Yall can miss me with all that.)



More notes since I got further into the audiobook:

Ew, the amount of time this heroine is marveled that this man is attracted to her and wants to bang, youd think she was Frankenstein's monster or something...

"Wow, he's so out of my league, hes in a rock band and hes 24, I can't believe he wants me!"

The amount of time she says this makes me want to throw myself off the Golden Gate Bridge.

A little advice to all women out there:

No man, and I do mean no man, is out of a woman's league.

Literally doesn't exist.


My favorite quote:

Heroine's best friend says to the heroine about the hero:

"My God, Ivy, you hit the jackpot! He's sexy as hell. He even cooks, he's like a God!"

Wow, well, okay then. This book just told me I'm a god, look out everyone, I'm hot, and I.... wait for it... cook!

I'm a god. Bow down.

More notes:

Heroine calls the woman her husband cheated with a "slut."

Guess, should have known I wouldn't escape this hell without slutshaming, I guess.

I don't know, maybe insult the guy who CHEATED on you and broke his marriage vows instead of slutshaming women who have nothing to with you...?

Just a thought...


More notes:

Im 89% through the audiobook now..

New conflict...

Author had the heroine compete with *checks notes" her 17-18 year old daughter...

By establishing that the daughter finds the hero "hot," and likes his band.

And now they're currently having a "misunderstanding" where the heroine thinks her daughter slept with the hero.

Disgusting.

Garbage.

Now i am patiently for the heroine the start slutshaming her daughter too.

"Macy is beautiful, with a perfect body. Was she able to press on the right button to get him to go over the edge with her?"

Um, what kind of a mother is this heroine? Who talks about their daughter like that?!

Also, why is she putting the responsibility on the younger girl and placing her as the "pursuer" that the hero must not have been able to resist...?

Oh god, the further i get into this book, the more I hate my life!


Final note:

Oh, thank god this is over. And i can't even rate the smut, cause i skipped over all of it.

I couldn't, in good conscience, listen to these ppl have sex, knowing this woman feels oh so lucky that this dude is putting his dick in her...

ridiculous.

When a book manages to make me skip the smut, you KNOW it was a bad time.

Yikes.

This book makes my stomach turn.

Don't read this trash.