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meggie82461 's review for:
Medicine Man
by Saffron A. Kent
7/20/19: on sale for 99 cents on AMZN! Totally worth it 😍
4.5 stars!
Medicine is in his blood. Like illness is in mine. My blood is tainted with poison and his is laced with the antidote.
I'm kinda surprised how much I loved this book. I'd heard before that Saffron Kent is a talented author, so while I was definitely impressed, that part really didn't surprise me. It's just that I thought- and I can't believe I'm actually saying this-that this one might be just a bit too inappropriate for me. I know, right? Apparently I have limits after all. It's just... well, an age difference is one thing, but adding a power imbalance on top of a serious mental illness? Sure, I was curious, but really, I was skeptical that a story like this could be told without it being a cringe-worthy fairy tale that avoided any meaningful message beyond "a magical dick cures any ailment." Boy, was I wrong. Did I have a problem with a few parts of the story? Yeah, sure. Would I be appalled if I heard this happened in real life? No doubt about it. But life isn't black and white and people are fucking messy. But that's what makes your life yours, isn't it? Your mistakes, your failures, your shortcomings... they're all a part of living. We're all just fighting to get through the day, but some have to fight harder than others not to fail. Really, they have to fight to want to live. Then there's the people that are also tired of fighting, but they actually want to fail, to make a mistake, so they can finally live. So, yeah; people are beautiful, chaotic, hard-to-understand shit shows, and never was that more evident than in this story. It's a fantastic rendering of the human psyche in all its fucked-up glory.
I know I’ve given him a lot to think about. He might be having one of the best days of his psychiatrist life. I’m fucked up.
At the start of the book, Willow begins treatment at Hearthstone, a facility in the middle of rural New Jersey. She's a clinically depressed, Harry Potter-obsessed eighteen-year-old girl that doesn't want to worry her mother with her illness. She's sweet and she's funny and she's complicated, but she's also a fighter. She blossoms and grows into her own person during her stay, and it would be a gross oversimplification to say it's all because of Simon. She's spent her entire life hiding her disease so she wouldn't worry her mother, but she doesn't have to do that while she's there. Willow's description of her depression elicited almost a visceral reaction from me, because it was so well-described and vivid. The author doesn't shy away from hard subjects like suicidal ideation, or even seemingly minor ones like the side effects of medication. More than anything, it works wonders for Willow that she's finally surrounded by people that are like her, and the friendships she forges change her in ways that no magic dick could ever dream of doing. There were times I wanted Willow to tamp it down a little, maybe have a little more pride or mystery when it came to Simon-or at least not always be so available- but then I'd remember that she's eighteen and in love for the first time. I mean, yeah, she definitely hero-worships him... but who didn't feel that with their first love? Additionally, she's very brave and honest with herself when it comes to her feelings, and I admired her for that... even it made me cringe at times.
"Because we’re born fighters. We come into this life, kicking and screaming, bursting with all the energy. There’s no shame in having to fight. There’s no shame in having to kick and scream. There’s no shame in being a warrior. It’s the most honorable thing you can do for yourself. Pick up a sword and fight. Just reach out, Willow, and pick it up.
Everything about him is so poetic. And everything about his poetry is fucking tragic. For me.
Dr. Simon Blackwood. I mostly loved him, but I definitely hated him for a little bit too. Oh, who am I kidding? I loved him even when I hated him. He's so strong and supportive, so caring, protective, and possessive, but also so fucking damaged. He's cold, aloof, and arrogant, yet his life revolves around helping people. He's the definition of a tortured hero, and just like Willow, I wanted to ease his pain. Simon often turns from ice cold to scorching in the matter of seconds, and it's hot as hell. The book was the same way; things escalate quickly, and the plot turns from Willow learning how to make friends and live with her depression to sudden, forbidden, risky, dirty-talking filthy HOT sex. Simon's wound pretty tightly, but when he finally lets go? Dear God. Let's just say that this author can write the shit out of a sex scene.
“I don’t have my pride, Willow, because I feel like a man on death row. Begging for life. Begging to live one more day. Begging to fuck you one more time.”
I'm not delusional. Realistically, Simon has far too much baggage to fit well with someone as fragile as Willow, but it's also because of that baggage that he's drawn to her. It's also why he's able to understand her enough to get through to her. No, it's not healthy for Willow to think that he can cure her, but I honestly never got the impression that she actually believed that. Really, it was more that he helped her to want to live, like he gave her the tools to help herself. And in the end, what allows the book to work is summed up by Willow saying these words: "As much as I enjoy the fantasy of him curing me, of him being my medicine man, I know he can’t. I know in this life, the only person who can save you is yourself. I’ve been fighting to save my life ever since I was born." Additionally, Simon's probably more broken than Willow, but he refuses to allow anyone in enough to be able to help. I think that's why he deeply admires and respects Willow, and that was easy to understand. So, even with the obvious problems stemming from their patient/doctor relationship, I believed in them. And thank God for that, because Simon and Willow's journey together was soul-crushing, heartwarming, and sexy all wrapped into one. Oh, and that epilogue? Perfection. 💕👍
“You’re young. You’re reckless. Inexperienced. You believe in happy endings, don’t you? Fairy tales and fucking magic.”
I frown, pressing harder against his forehead. "Of course I do. If someone like me doesn’t believe in magic, then there’s no hope for anyone else. There’s no hope for me.
Not a lot of people will get it, in fact. They’ll think I’m crazy to fall for a man like him. My psychiatrist. The cold and distant ice king. They’ll think it’s anything but love. They’ll think I’m a statistic. An insane girl falling for the man who’s trying to save her. It’s a doomed love. A love born to die. A broken girl falling for her fixer. But what they don’t know is that my fixer might be a little bit broken too.
“I think you’re exactly who and where you’re supposed to be.”
Mine and with me.
So then, how did my life start in a place like this where all lives go on pause? How did it happen that I found everything I’ve been looking for on the Outside, here on the Inside?
Loving her is my purpose. It’s the thing that runs in my veins, alongside my blood. Loving Willow was what I was born to do.
4.5 stars!
Medicine is in his blood. Like illness is in mine. My blood is tainted with poison and his is laced with the antidote.
I'm kinda surprised how much I loved this book. I'd heard before that Saffron Kent is a talented author, so while I was definitely impressed, that part really didn't surprise me. It's just that I thought- and I can't believe I'm actually saying this-that this one might be just a bit too inappropriate for me. I know, right? Apparently I have limits after all. It's just... well, an age difference is one thing, but adding a power imbalance on top of a serious mental illness? Sure, I was curious, but really, I was skeptical that a story like this could be told without it being a cringe-worthy fairy tale that avoided any meaningful message beyond "a magical dick cures any ailment." Boy, was I wrong. Did I have a problem with a few parts of the story? Yeah, sure. Would I be appalled if I heard this happened in real life? No doubt about it. But life isn't black and white and people are fucking messy. But that's what makes your life yours, isn't it? Your mistakes, your failures, your shortcomings... they're all a part of living. We're all just fighting to get through the day, but some have to fight harder than others not to fail. Really, they have to fight to want to live. Then there's the people that are also tired of fighting, but they actually want to fail, to make a mistake, so they can finally live. So, yeah; people are beautiful, chaotic, hard-to-understand shit shows, and never was that more evident than in this story. It's a fantastic rendering of the human psyche in all its fucked-up glory.
I know I’ve given him a lot to think about. He might be having one of the best days of his psychiatrist life. I’m fucked up.
At the start of the book, Willow begins treatment at Hearthstone, a facility in the middle of rural New Jersey. She's a clinically depressed, Harry Potter-obsessed eighteen-year-old girl that doesn't want to worry her mother with her illness. She's sweet and she's funny and she's complicated, but she's also a fighter. She blossoms and grows into her own person during her stay, and it would be a gross oversimplification to say it's all because of Simon. She's spent her entire life hiding her disease so she wouldn't worry her mother, but she doesn't have to do that while she's there. Willow's description of her depression elicited almost a visceral reaction from me, because it was so well-described and vivid. The author doesn't shy away from hard subjects like suicidal ideation, or even seemingly minor ones like the side effects of medication. More than anything, it works wonders for Willow that she's finally surrounded by people that are like her, and the friendships she forges change her in ways that no magic dick could ever dream of doing. There were times I wanted Willow to tamp it down a little, maybe have a little more pride or mystery when it came to Simon-or at least not always be so available- but then I'd remember that she's eighteen and in love for the first time. I mean, yeah, she definitely hero-worships him... but who didn't feel that with their first love? Additionally, she's very brave and honest with herself when it comes to her feelings, and I admired her for that... even it made me cringe at times.
"Because we’re born fighters. We come into this life, kicking and screaming, bursting with all the energy. There’s no shame in having to fight. There’s no shame in having to kick and scream. There’s no shame in being a warrior. It’s the most honorable thing you can do for yourself. Pick up a sword and fight. Just reach out, Willow, and pick it up.
Everything about him is so poetic. And everything about his poetry is fucking tragic. For me.
Dr. Simon Blackwood. I mostly loved him, but I definitely hated him for a little bit too. Oh, who am I kidding? I loved him even when I hated him. He's so strong and supportive, so caring, protective, and possessive, but also so fucking damaged. He's cold, aloof, and arrogant, yet his life revolves around helping people. He's the definition of a tortured hero, and just like Willow, I wanted to ease his pain. Simon often turns from ice cold to scorching in the matter of seconds, and it's hot as hell. The book was the same way; things escalate quickly, and the plot turns from Willow learning how to make friends and live with her depression to sudden, forbidden, risky, dirty-talking filthy HOT sex. Simon's wound pretty tightly, but when he finally lets go? Dear God. Let's just say that this author can write the shit out of a sex scene.
“I don’t have my pride, Willow, because I feel like a man on death row. Begging for life. Begging to live one more day. Begging to fuck you one more time.”
I'm not delusional. Realistically, Simon has far too much baggage to fit well with someone as fragile as Willow, but it's also because of that baggage that he's drawn to her. It's also why he's able to understand her enough to get through to her. No, it's not healthy for Willow to think that he can cure her, but I honestly never got the impression that she actually believed that. Really, it was more that he helped her to want to live, like he gave her the tools to help herself. And in the end, what allows the book to work is summed up by Willow saying these words: "As much as I enjoy the fantasy of him curing me, of him being my medicine man, I know he can’t. I know in this life, the only person who can save you is yourself. I’ve been fighting to save my life ever since I was born." Additionally, Simon's probably more broken than Willow, but he refuses to allow anyone in enough to be able to help. I think that's why he deeply admires and respects Willow, and that was easy to understand. So, even with the obvious problems stemming from their patient/doctor relationship, I believed in them. And thank God for that, because Simon and Willow's journey together was soul-crushing, heartwarming, and sexy all wrapped into one. Oh, and that epilogue? Perfection. 💕👍
“You’re young. You’re reckless. Inexperienced. You believe in happy endings, don’t you? Fairy tales and fucking magic.”
I frown, pressing harder against his forehead. "Of course I do. If someone like me doesn’t believe in magic, then there’s no hope for anyone else. There’s no hope for me.
Not a lot of people will get it, in fact. They’ll think I’m crazy to fall for a man like him. My psychiatrist. The cold and distant ice king. They’ll think it’s anything but love. They’ll think I’m a statistic. An insane girl falling for the man who’s trying to save her. It’s a doomed love. A love born to die. A broken girl falling for her fixer. But what they don’t know is that my fixer might be a little bit broken too.
“I think you’re exactly who and where you’re supposed to be.”
Mine and with me.
So then, how did my life start in a place like this where all lives go on pause? How did it happen that I found everything I’ve been looking for on the Outside, here on the Inside?
Loving her is my purpose. It’s the thing that runs in my veins, alongside my blood. Loving Willow was what I was born to do.